Gentle Mothering

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September 25, 2005

To Dance or Do Dishes?

by PurpleButterfly

Sharing this little article I wrote a few years ago on the original GCM Joyful Homemaking forum...

Our daily lives as wives and mothers is so challenging. To think that most of us dreamed of a very different lifestyle when we envisioned our SAHM roles...how little we knew! I imagined myself with a perfectly organized home, simmering scrumptious homecooked meals each evening, neatly organized and folded laundry, sparkling floors and tidy closets. What I ended up with was a high-need baby, a dh who works 70 hours a week (I feel too guilty to ask for his help), a mountain of dirty laundry that has recycled on my closet floor for about two years now, and stuff sticking to the bottom of my feet whenever I walk through the kitchen. And my house is neat compared to many others I've visited! ;}

Lately I've been discovering the amazing power of prayer as a homemaker. I learned from the wise mamas on this board that my life role is now a loving ministry - I am raising a family, loving and supporting a hard working husband, and demonstrating a lifestyle to my son who will someday subconsiously seek these qualities in his mate.

What do I want to convey to my family? That the floor will always need to be swept, laundry will always be there to be washed, and dishes accumulate each day. That while I do keep up with these things to the best of my ability, I do not place a higher importance on a clean home than I do on spending time with my family.

After all, dirty dishes will always be here...my son will not. There are days that I do spend more time cleaning, but I have also learned that we can survive with less sparkle and shine than I used to determine necessary.

My home is still a welcoming haven, but one that also says, "A family lives and loves here."

Posted by PurpleButterfly at 03:19 PM | Comments (2)

September 24, 2005

Our Favorite GBD Verses

by

A member of the GCM message board recently asked other mamas to share some of their favorite grace-based discipline passages from the Bible. Here are a few of them. Feel free to add yours, too!

From elcollins

Isaiah 66:11
"For you will nurse and be satisfied at her comforting breast you will drink deeply and delight in her overflowing abundance. For this is what the Lord says: "I will extend peace to her like a river and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream; you will nurse and be carried on her arm and dandled on her knees. As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you."

From Carol

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." 1 John 4:18 NIV

From Titus2:5Catholic

Matthew Ch. 18:
"1 At that hour the disciples came to Jesus, saying: Who thinkest thou is the greater in the kingdom of heaven? 2 And Jesus calling unto him a little child, set him in the midst of them, 3 And said: Amen I say to you, unless you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. 4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, he is the greater in the kingdom of heaven. 5 And he that shall receive one such little child in my name, receiveth me. 6 But he that shall scandalize one of these little ones that believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone should be hanged about his neck, and that he should be drowned in the depth of the sea...10 See that you despise not one of these little ones: for I say to you, that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father who is in heaven."

From Carol

"What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a whip (KJV says rod), or in love and with a gentle spirit?" 1 Corinthians 4:21 NIV

From Titus2:5Catholic

Ephesians 6:4
"And you, fathers, provoke not your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and correction of the Lord...6 Not serving to the eye, as it were pleasing men, but, as the servants of Christ doing the will of God from the heart"

From TulipMama

Galatians 6:1-2
"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

From Titus2:5Catholic

Romans 15:1
"Now we that are stronger, ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves."

From Titus2:5Catholic

Psalm 23:4
"For though I should walk in the midst of the shadow of death, I will fear no evils, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they have comforted me."

From katiekind

The Book of Ephesians. (I was going to quote a verse, and then my eye lit upon a nearby wonderful verse, and then another, and then another....and they are all laced together, Paul-fashion: you can't just pull out one because it's attached to a "therefore".

From Mia

"Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you."

"If you love me, you will keep my commandments."

and I Corinthians 13

From Carol

"Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." Matthew 25:40 KJV

Posted by at 08:20 AM | Comments (4)

September 18, 2005

Theology, Parenting, and Charles Hodge

by

Studying theology and learning how the Gospel applies in my life, have been two of the biggest factors influencing me towards grace-based discipline.

Awhile ago I was skimming Charles Hodge's commentary on Romans and was just struck by how God relates to us as His children, and how I can follow that example with my children.

This is from the Crossway Books Classic Commentaries, page 189, commenting on Romans 6: 12-23:

"As no man is free from sin, as no man can perfectly keep the commandments of God, every man who rests on his personal conformity to the law as the basis of his acceptance with God must be condemned. We are not under the law in this sense, but under grace--that is, a system of free justification. We are justified by grace, without works.

We are not under a legal dispensation, requiring personal conformity to the law and entire freedom from sin, past and present, as the condition of our acceptance; but we are under a gracious dispensation, according to which God dispenses pardon freely and accepts the sinner as a sinner, for Christs's sake, without works or merit of his own. Whoever is under the law, in the sense just explained, is not only condemned, but he is bound by a legal or slavish spirit. What he does, he does as a slave, to escape punishment. But he who is under grace, who is freely accepted by God and restored to his favor, is a child of God living under his Spirit. The principle of obeying him is love and not fear.

Here, as everywhere else in the Bible, it is assumed that the favor of God is in our life. We must be reconciled to Him before we can be holy: we must feel that He loves us before we can love Him."

Reflections related to Parenting

"God. . .accepts the sinner as a sinner"
I know this to be true with God accepting me, and now I want to really just ACCEPT my children as who they are. I want to provide a "safe place to fall" for my kids, where they know they are accepted as they are, even when they sin. I know my parents have lived that out towards my siblings and me.

"What he does, he does as a slave, to escape punishment."
I don't want my children to be doing things out of fear, simply to escape punishment.

"But he who is under grace, who is freeely accepted by God and restored to his favor, is a child of God living under his Spirit."
This is the part of the passage that first drew my attention to asking how I can relate this to me and my children, copying God as my Father.

"The principle of obeying him is love and not fear."
Again, I don't want it to be fear of me or fear of punishment that compels my children to obedience. But of love. Just as, truly, my obedience (imperfect though it may be) to God is out of a desire to please Him and out of love.

"we must feel that He loves us before we can love Him."
I read a survey once that said something like 90% of kids knew their parents loved them, but only 30% FELT that their parents loved them. I want to really nurture my children, and have them FEEL loved by me and my husband.

Read Romans 6:12-23

"Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God. For sin shall not be master over you, for you are not under law but under grace.

What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? May it never be! Do you not know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness?

But thanks be to God that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that form of teaching to which you were committed, and having been freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness. I am speaking in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh.

For just as you presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness, resulting in further lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness, resulting in sanctification. For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness.

Therefore what benefit were you then deriving from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the outcome of those things is death. But now having been freed from sin and enslaved to God, you derive your benefit, resulting in sanctification, and the outcome, eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Romans 6:12-23 NASB

Posted by at 11:46 AM | Comments (1)

September 07, 2005

First Weekly Meal Plan

by flowermama

Sometimes when people hear I am vegan they ask, "What do you eat?" Well, here are some things our family eats. ;) This is the first time I've ever written down a full week of meals like this in advance. I wrote the list out at the end of last week, and I have been tweaking it as necessary. I am going to try write out weekly meal plans for at least four weeks.

I know there are many areas we need to improve on, one being that we need to eat less soy, so hopefully writing it down will help. Also, hopefully our meal plans might be helpful to someone reading this!

Sunday

Breakfast (in van on way to church)

glass of almond milk before leaving for church

sesame seed butter and fruit spread sandwhiches on Sasquatch bread

plums

Snack (in van after church)

leftover sandwhiches from breakfast

sesame sticks

energy bars

water from bottle

Lunch

veggie meat sandwhiches on "Seed" bread

raw vegetables with tahini spread - red pepper, cucumber

avocado

pickles

apple slices

weekly dessert: soy vanilla ice cream -- toppings: slivered almonds, mango sauce

Dinner

Mama's Best Noodles -- brown rice noodles mixed with a sauce made from crumbled soft tofu, garlic powder, Earth Balance whipped buttery spread (EB), Liquid Aminos (LA), vegetarian chicken flavored broth powder, and one cup of water blended together in a blender until very smooth and creamy

lettuce salad, tomatoes, cucumbers with dressing

fruit salad (pineapple, sliced banana, mandarin oranges mixed together)

Monday

Breakfast

homemade granola, Nancy's plain soy yogurt, and blueberries parfait

Lunch

Tofu Pups on hotdog buns (multi-grain), potato wedges baked covered with olive oil and baked in oven

ketchup, Vegenaise

lettuce salad

fresh blackberries (grandma picked them)

Snack

We weren't at home at snacktime, so some of us ate energy bars in the van.

Dinner

whole wheat tortillas with melted Tofutti American Soy-Cheese Slices

bean salad (red kidney beans, garbanzo beans, & white kidney beans, and diced red peppers mixed together and left in refrigerator to marinate in olive oil, rice vinegar, sucanat, and maple syrup.

grapes

bananas with peanutbutter on them (they were from snacktime that we didn't have) and five dark chocolate chips on them (not something we usually do *blush* lol)

Tuesday

Breakfast

raisin bran and Joe's O's cereal with rice milk

blackberries

1st Snack

smoothie - rice milk, bananas, rest of blackerries, rest of yogurt, rest of soy ice cream from Sunday, carob, peanutbutter, and spirulina (yes, it's a funny mixture, but tasted fine lol)

Lunch

potato pie - layer tvp (flavored with vegetarian beef flavored broth powder and garlic powder, and a little olive oil added) on bottom, corn in the middle, sweet potatoes and regular potatoes mashed together and spread on top (EB and plain rice milk mixed in with the potatoes)

lettuce salad

applesauce

2nd Snack

tortilla chips with salsa

leftover bean salad

avocado

raisins and dried cranberries

Dinner

brown rice with Earth Balance and Liquid Aminos

sliced pears

Wednesday

Breakfast

leftover brown rice with almond milk, maple syup, and cinnamon added (eaten like cereal), or brown rice with EB and LA (may drink a cup of almond milk if not poured over on rice)

sliced apples

First Snack

leftover things from Sunday -- cut up leftover potatoes and tofu pups, mixed them together, and warmed them on the stove in olive oil; used rest of Seed bread with peanut butter, etc., on top; used two hot dog buns and put Vegenaise and soy cheese slices on them.

Lunch

enchilladas (easy to make - jarred spaghetti sauce on bottom, six corn tortillas in next layer, then crumbled soft tofu mixed with vegetarian chicken flavoring in the next layer, then six more corn tortillas, then spaghetti sauce on top) with soy sour cream available for those who like to add that on top

lettuce salad

Snack

smoothie - vanilla rice milk, 3 bananas, frozen cherries blended together

toast or bread untoasted with fruit spread, EB, and peanutbutter to choose from to put on top (or as a sandwhich)

raisins and dried cranberries

carrot sticks and tahini spread to dip them in

Dinner

baked potatoes with lime and Earth Balance on them (and pepper for me... I love pepper)

Thursday

Breakfast

oatmeal with diced apples, cinnamon, maple syrup, sliced almonds, and rice milk

Lunch

brown rice with Earth Balance and Liquid Aminos and cubed tofu

lettuce salad with dressing

cucumber with tahini sauce

pineapple rings

Snack

sandwhiches made on kamut/spelt bread with soy cheese slices and leftover veggie meat and Vegenaise lettuce

smoothie

Dinner

Mom brings dinner this day. :D

Friday

Breakfast

Joe's O's, raisin bran, or granola + rice milk

Lunch

banana and carrot French toast with Earth Balance and maple syrup

Dinner

Snack with Movie

popcorn with Earth Balance and sea salt

sliced apples with peanut butter and raisins on top

Saturday

Breakfast

banana bread

any extra fruit we have leftover from the week

rice milk

Lunch

Daddy's Best Noodles

lettuce salad

Snack

sesame sticks

energy bars

water from bottle

Dinner

stuffed green peppers -- leftover brown rice mixed with spaghetti sauce with soy cheese on top

sliced raw green peppers

Posted by flowermama at 01:28 PM | Comments (5)

Moving towards more structure at mealtime...

by flowermama

I'm a huge procrastinator, a messie, and a space case (at times), and to be organized is one of my biggest dreams. This week I feel, God-willing, that I have taken two steps in that direction. The first step is that, with the support of my husband and our children, we have begun to eat our meals at certain times during the day (our baby can nurse whenever he needs to, though, of course! ). The second step is the creation of a weekly meal plan. I started writing it at the end of last week, began following it on Sunday, and have been tweaking it this week as necessary.

We are finding both of these things to be very helpful for our family. Planning ahead helps avoid the frustration that can come with waiting until the last minute to decide what to eat (duh ;)). Also, it's helpful to be able to tell the family what we are going to eat, and when. The plan is helping us eat a larger variety of foods (there is less temptation for me to pull a box of cold cereal out of the cupboard too often *blush*), and, eventually, I think it will save us money, and it will make it easier for us to add even more variety to our diet. And I feel that I am better meeting my kids' needs since they are saying "I'm hungry!" far less often this week than they had been, and usually it's close to mealtime when they do.

Posted by flowermama at 12:45 PM | Comments (0)