Bedtime battle solutions

[The Tickle Momster]

We've been having major issues with going to bed. Either fighting that it's bedtime, refusing to brush teeth, taking forever to get jammies, etc. Another issue is nights when 1 parent or the other is unavailable. Friday night, dh was working to strip the deck so we could reseal/stain it. The 3 kids cried for about 1.5 hours. I had them in 1 child's room, no toothbrushing, me guarding the door, etc. I finally thought to move them to our room and start a movie. It was AWFUL! The movie did it. It is not my first thought so it took that long for me to consider it. They all wanted daddy!

Dh & I talked yesterday about what to do. We decided to use a temporary reward system to break the cycle. If they can cooperatively go upstairs, get brushed, jammied, pottied and into bed with out whining, crying, complaining, then the next evening we will do something special as a family. Thankfully we succeeded tonight. And tomorrow before bed we will play "hide the crab". I'm thinking after 3 nights we can have a candlelight dinner. Nothing special for food, but they love candle nights. If we can get several nights in a row (7) we will take the kids to play mini - golf.

Dh brought up, what if one child is cooperating but the others aren't. So while it won't count toward going to play mini-golf (we are trying to emphasize the whole teamwork aspect) said child will get a few special minutes of time with mom or dad the next night.

Thoughts? Loopholes? Ideas for special things to do?

[Dandelion]

I noticed your post was from a few weeks ago? Have things been going better? What works for bedtime right now at our house is story tapes. The lights go out, but the kids get to listen to a story on tape. I think it helps my 2 oldest to transition from "fun" time to bedtime, gives them something to look forward to and makes them sleepy too.

[BHope]

Where do you get story tapes from and do they need a book to accompany it? I only ask because a book would mean more light... which means delayed sleepers.

I like the idea of family time. Although, DD1 isn't quite "there" yet to put together last nights action with tonights reward. But still, quality family time would probably mean less fuss at bedtime? Right?

[The Tickle Momster]

It's been going better. Until last night. Ds didn't want to stop the fun game he was playing with dad. I tried reading extra books that they could see the pictures but they were all over the place and not listening. So we turned out the lights and I read a little more from a book where they just had to imagine the pictures. They were still squirrelly, so I stopped reading and snuggled. They were asleep very quickly.

We did the family time thing for a week. It worked for then but they want it every night and want it to be new and different. That got to be a bit much. :/

[BHope]

Originally Posted by mlrowley

We did the family time thing for a week. It worked for then but they want it every night and want it to be new and different. That got to be a bit much. :/

I can totally see how that could get old fast. lol. But it does speak to how much kids desire parental involvement and validation in their lives. They really thrive on family togetherness. I just wish we were better at it.

[The Tickle Momster]

I just wish we were better at it.

Me too.

[Marsha]

We don't have that many kids. And I still nurse the 2 yo down. But my 5 yo is still resistant to going to bed. She wants me. She wants me rather intensely. For 1.5 years, her dad has been putting her to bed pretty much every night except for 2-3 occasions.

And suddenly she is totally uncooperative unless I "rescue " her. I think she's old enough not to need someone to lay with her until she's asleep, but obviously we aren't successful in that. It panics her to the point where she will scream for an hour. If you lay wit h her she's asleep in 5-10 minutes. YOu know?

The 2 yo is getting to the point where she isn't tired at the older's bedtime and more willing to hang with her dad, so that's how we work it. Of course, it takes more time out of my evening...grrrr! but I need ideas too.

[The Tickle Momster]

Marsha. I had to let go of the expectation that dd or ds could put themselves to sleep a long time ago. Dd can do it, but she doesn't want to. Ds, not there yet.

Dh and I do the swap parent thing. Some nights though, 3 will want me, but in 2 different rooms and 1 will want me and dh. I can only imagine what it will be like in May when we add 1 more.