If you could ask Crystal any question you wanted to....

Wonder Woman · 08-31-2007, 04:29 AM

what would it be?

Crystal is in the middle of compiling some age-specific answers for Grace-Based Discipline, and needs some good questions

So, ask her whatever you'd like!

Please note:
By asking questions in this thread, you are permitting Crystal/AOLFF to utilize these questions and her answers for publication, either in her website or in forthcoming books. No names or other identifying information of yours will be used.

Come on, try to stump her

Close2MyHeart · 08-31-2007, 04:59 AM

How do I help my kids to stop complaining every time I ask them to do something??? It's driving me crazy!

illinoismommy · 08-31-2007, 05:15 AM

This probably won't help the website, but I really want to know what is the difference between Biblical Parenting (the book) and Grace... something about Family (the new book) ?

I'd like to see more on two and three year olds

What about Bossy three year olds? It isn't any fun to play with them because they are so bossy "sit there.... play with this...."

hmmm I can't think of anything really good though, things are well here .... weird how my mind is blank during these times

thomer · 08-31-2007, 05:37 AM

How do you 'help' your kids do something (like cleaning up spilt juice or whatever) if they run away screaming when you try to help them. Or fight back.

allisonintx · 08-31-2007, 08:15 AM

What about the 10yo who says "I won't do it and you can't make me" and doesn't care one whit if it means that he has zero privilidges.

AdrienneQW · 08-31-2007, 08:23 AM

Quote:

If you could ask Crystal any question you wanted to....

...will you please come live with us for a month? Oh, and bring Joanne.

Radosny Matka · 08-31-2007, 08:39 AM

What do I do to help my 2 year old stop hitting/pinching/pulling my 6 year old's hair?

How do I help my undirectable, unconsolable 2 year old when he is upset? I could easily tell my first, "this is not a toy, play with x" Or, 'sand stays in the sandbox, here, put the sand in this." My 2 year old is dead-set on doing what he wants to do, no matter what. No redirection works. He gets "stuck' in what he wants to do. Comfort corner does not work. Hugging him doesn't help. Deep breathing with him doesn't work. It seems like I have to stand on the side, reflect feelings, and let him scream until he's calm. Is there anything ELSE I can do? I hate leaving him to cry. (so,, was that looong enough for you

)

HomeWithMyBabies · 08-31-2007, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AdrienneQW

Quote:

If you could ask Crystal any question you wanted to....

...will you please come live with us for a month? Oh, and bring Joanne.

Yeah that.

And although it doesn't help the website any I would like to know if you ever slip up and say something mean or yell at the kids.

Novella · 08-31-2007, 08:48 AM

How do I help my 33 month old direct his frustration and anger in a better way? RE: stop hitting his sister; stop hitting momma and daddy

How do I teach my son that football tackling our friends is not good play for everyone?

How do you get Crystal to come live with you and teach you everything that she knows?

booboo · 08-31-2007, 08:54 AM

Okay I have one. Piglet is very oppositional and we know it's a part of her issues. What do I do if she does refuse to do what she's told (brush her teeth, etc) and I know it's defiance..something that doesn't involve punishment?

Oh yeah, can you come here too for a week? I'll even take a weekend if you're free!

08-31-2007, 08:54 AM

How to "make it happen" with older children? How to "redeem the time" when starting GBD 'late' (as in, the children are older)? How to get over the effects of 'bad parenting' the early years? How to assume authority, when you feel you have none?

RealLifeMama · 08-31-2007, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AdrienneQW

Quote:

If you could ask Crystal any question you wanted to....

...will you please come live with us for a month? Oh, and bring Joanne.

Doh, you took mine!

Aisling · 08-31-2007, 09:40 AM

How do you give firm limits to an exceptionally independent, capable 36mo who wants to do everything adults (mowing, using the stove, bathing her babies, checking the mail, sewing) do without totally crushing her independent spirit? (I'm talking about a truly spirited child with a very strong personality...no gate is too high, and no natural consequence seems as strong as her desire to participate independently in the adult world...it's truly do or die!)

Spanish Rose · 08-31-2007, 12:26 PM

What do you do when your 12 year old is screaming because he's having a panic attack, but the noise gives your 15 year old a panic attack and everything goes downhill from there? Or even more generally, what do you do when one child's acting up feeds another child and the room turns into a circus? They're all really good on their own or in pairs of 12/15 or 10/15, but put the younger two together and it's just fighting fighting fighting. And it's even worse when all three are together.

How do you deal with the 9-12 year old girl's attitude?

What do you do when everything you say to your 10yo daughter is percieved as critical?

AdrienneQW · 08-31-2007, 03:19 PM

Quote:

How do you give firm limits to an exceptionally independent, capable 36mo who wants to do everything adults (mowing, using the stove, bathing her babies, checking the mail, sewing) do without totally crushing her independent spirit? (I'm talking about a truly spirited child with a very strong personality...no gate is too high, and no natural consequence seems as strong as her desire to participate independently in the adult world...it's truly do or die!)

What a passionate soul - she sounds wonderful.

08-31-2007, 04:29 AM	#1
Wonder Woman Deactivated Yep. I'm a 3. Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 19,140	If you could ask Crystal any question you wanted to.... what would it be? Crystal is in the middle of compiling some age-specific answers for Grace-Based Discipline, and needs some good questions So, ask her whatever you'd like! Please note: By asking questions in this thread, you are permitting Crystal/AOLFF to utilize these questions and her answers for publication, either in her website or in forthcoming books. No names or other identifying information of yours will be used. Come on, try to stump her

08-31-2007, 04:59 AM	#2
Close2MyHeart Rose Garden Back for Friendships Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Northeastern US Posts: 20,863	Re: If you could ask Crystal any question you wanted to.... How do I help my kids to stop complaining every time I ask them to do something??? It's driving me crazy! __________________ ~ Becca ~ Wife to C., WFHM, Life long learner Living in "organized chaos" with 2 handfuls of kiddos. DS1(21), DS2(20), BD1(20), DD1(19), BS1(17), DS3(16), BS2(14), DD2(14), BD2(10), BD3 (8) (B = Bonus/Step)

08-31-2007, 05:15 AM	#3
illinoismommy Rose Garden Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 25,657	Re: If you could ask Crystal any question you wanted to.... This probably won't help the website, but I really want to know what is the difference between Biblical Parenting (the book) and Grace... something about Family (the new book) ? I'd like to see more on two and three year olds What about Bossy three year olds? It isn't any fun to play with them because they are so bossy "sit there.... play with this...." hmmm I can't think of anything really good though, things are well here .... weird how my mind is blank during these times __________________ Mommy to: Ds (9.5), Dd (7), Ds2 (6), and Ds3 (4.5).

08-31-2007, 05:37 AM	#4
thomer Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 4,222	Re: If you could ask Crystal any question you wanted to.... How do you 'help' your kids do something (like cleaning up spilt juice or whatever) if they run away screaming when you try to help them. Or fight back. __________________ Tracy: Wife \|\| Mom \|\| Aspiring Physicist

08-31-2007, 08:15 AM	#5
allisonintx Rose Garden Some Cal/Mag will probably fix that. Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: catching up on the laundry Posts: 41,294	Re: If you could ask Crystal any question you wanted to.... What about the 10yo who says "I won't do it and you can't make me" and doesn't care one whit if it means that he has zero privilidges. __________________ allisonintx Wife to Stephen Mother to Elizabeth 19, Andrew 17, Abigail 14 & Evelyn 12 Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the world. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home. . . . . . . .

08-31-2007, 08:39 AM	#7
Radosny Matka Rose Garden I am so blessed! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: somewhere between sane and crazy Posts: 26,922	Re: If you could ask Crystal any question you wanted to.... What do I do to help my 2 year old stop hitting/pinching/pulling my 6 year old's hair? How do I help my undirectable, unconsolable 2 year old when he is upset? I could easily tell my first, "this is not a toy, play with x" Or, 'sand stays in the sandbox, here, put the sand in this." My 2 year old is dead-set on doing what he wants to do, no matter what. No redirection works. He gets "stuck' in what he wants to do. Comfort corner does not work. Hugging him doesn't help. Deep breathing with him doesn't work. It seems like I have to stand on the side, reflect feelings, and let him scream until he's calm. Is there anything ELSE I can do? I hate leaving him to cry. (so,, was that looong enough for you ) __________________ Sara Wife to Love of my life 8/98 Momma to my precious children: N 17 years, P 13 years, O 5 years! Remembering our babies: 12/98 9/99 12/09 1/17

08-31-2007, 08:48 AM	#9
Novella Rose Trellis Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: NC Posts: 3,093	Re: If you could ask Crystal any question you wanted to.... How do I help my 33 month old direct his frustration and anger in a better way? RE: stop hitting his sister; stop hitting momma and daddy How do I teach my son that football tackling our friends is not good play for everyone? How do you get Crystal to come live with you and teach you everything that she knows? __________________ Cindy Formerly Mommy2Joshua2004 A classic ENFP (but sometimes J) loving my ESTJ DH Mommy to J and E Weightloss Blog: http://fattygirljourney.blogspot.com/

08-31-2007, 08:54 AM	#10
booboo Deactivated Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 4,574	Re: If you could ask Crystal any question you wanted to.... Okay I have one. Piglet is very oppositional and we know it's a part of her issues. What do I do if she does refuse to do what she's told (brush her teeth, etc) and I know it's defiance..something that doesn't involve punishment? Oh yeah, can you come here too for a week? I'll even take a weekend if you're free!

08-31-2007, 08:54 AM	#11
Chris3jam Guest Posts: n/a	Re: If you could ask Crystal any question you wanted to.... How to "make it happen" with older children? How to "redeem the time" when starting GBD 'late' (as in, the children are older)? How to get over the effects of 'bad parenting' the early years? How to assume authority, when you feel you have none?

08-31-2007, 09:40 AM	#13
Aisling Deactivated Even artichokes have hearts! Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 33,230	Re: If you could ask Crystal any question you wanted to.... How do you give firm limits to an exceptionally independent, capable 36mo who wants to do everything adults (mowing, using the stove, bathing her babies, checking the mail, sewing) do without totally crushing her independent spirit? (I'm talking about a truly spirited child with a very strong personality...no gate is too high, and no natural consequence seems as strong as her desire to participate independently in the adult world...it's truly do or die!)

08-31-2007, 12:26 PM	#14
Spanish Rose Deactivated Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,339	Re: If you could ask Crystal any question you wanted to.... What do you do when your 12 year old is screaming because he's having a panic attack, but the noise gives your 15 year old a panic attack and everything goes downhill from there? Or even more generally, what do you do when one child's acting up feeds another child and the room turns into a circus? They're all really good on their own or in pairs of 12/15 or 10/15, but put the younger two together and it's just fighting fighting fighting. And it's even worse when all three are together. How do you deal with the 9-12 year old girl's attitude? What do you do when everything you say to your 10yo daughter is percieved as critical?

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