How to curb annoying toddler behavior - Licking & Spitting

Marielle · 03-05-2006, 03:49 PM

Biting we could handle because he needs SOMEONE or SOMETHING to bite but the spitting and licking he can do with no object or person around. Sometimes it's all I can do to not

I do the no spitting we only spit when we brush our teeth. No licking me or daddy so we enforce the personal boundaries. I'm constantly stooping down to his eye level, taking a deep breath so I don't

and telling him, "no spitting" Oh and the yelling. I know it lately seems to him like all we do is tell him not to do something and we try to phrase it in the positive as much as possible, redirect, etc.

Sometimes he'll start spitting when we've told him not to something else.

Or worse, if we tell him to stop something even with redirection he'll start to bang his head or his hand or something else in order to ask for a "pat, pat" and thus the issue is derailed. The yelling, oh my goodness the yelling, especially of course when his brother is asleep but many times just in reaction to being told something he can't do or have.

Now any help with strategies? I'm definitely hoping that he'll outgrow it but in the meantime we just have to be consistent right?

03-05-2006, 04:51 PM

Hi Marielle,

I'm no "expert", but I do have lots of children and I know from experience that having a new baby in the house will make even the most angelic child a wild one. It sounds like you are doing all the right things, and you are being much more patient than most.

It will pass, it sure will.

Keep telling him no, make sure he gets lots of lovey time with you, and you'll see that it will start to dissipate. We still have a 4 year old with "rubbing" problems- she gets her little fingers right in the crook of your elbow and RUBS away. Some days it is super sensitive, and I want to fling her hand away, but I have to take her hand and redirect her. This is nothing compared to some of the things she did when her sister was born! It does get better.

Congratualtions on your new arrival!!

I hope this helps.

ArmsOfLove · 03-05-2006, 05:09 PM

I just tell my children "spitting is for in the bathroom" and send or walk them there. As for licking--what is he licking???

how frustrating

Marielle · 03-05-2006, 06:02 PM

Jeanne that really does help. Thank you.

Crystal LOL he licks our clothes but when he doesn't have a person or dog (eww), he'll lick doorknobs, floors, even bleachers in public places. At first I tried ignoring it and offering positive attention throughout the day but then I had not so gentle moments when I

. It's just within the couple of weeks that I've been saying no spitting, etc. BTW, I tried the taking him to the bathroom trick tonight and it caught his attention to where he couldn't try his other behaviors to derail the topic at hand.

ArmsOfLove · 03-05-2006, 06:04 PM

I do have to wonder if the licking is a sensory issue. Does he only do it when he's frustrated? Or is it something he does a lot? Like chewing his shirts or licking himself, etc.

Marielle · 03-05-2006, 06:08 PM

no licking himself, just when he's frustrated at not getting something or being able to do something. Or of course if Daddy's busy with something and he wants his attention he'll go lick Daddy's knee. I tried observing him for short period to see if it was a sensory thing and it didn't look like it but I'm not an expert.

ArmsOfLove · 03-05-2006, 06:18 PM

You mentioned that you have a dog. TBH, some young children want to *be* the dog. One friend's dd crawled, barked and insisted you pet her--even wanted to eat her spaghetti with her mouth and no hands

Is he maybe speaking dog to get your language?

Marielle · 03-05-2006, 08:51 PM

Yikes, never thought of that one. LOL and we have 3 dogs, all pre-kids and as much as I love them I still wonder what the heck we were thinking (all adopted and made their way to us softies one by one). I'll have to observe the kiddo much more closely to decipher. At the very least it makes for great entertainment.

AmyDoll · 03-05-2006, 09:31 PM

I've noticed that Sam licks when he's thirsty.

I usually tell him "X isn't for licking" Would you like a drink?"

Marielle · 03-06-2006, 03:14 PM

Okay now I've been observing and I noticed he had some soreness on one of his thumbs and it turns out he's been kind of gnawing on his thumb or at least sticking them in his mouth. He never too a paci (we tried) or his thumb so this is odd but could it be related to stress/frustration or the fact that he's not getting to nurse unlimited amounts like he did prebaby? (I now nurse him before nap & bedtime, sometimes more often when he's sick).

He's been sticking both thumbs in his mouth, not sucking on them but just enough to bite or lick them.

03-05-2006, 03:49 PM	#1
Marielle Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 7,321	How to curb annoying toddler behavior - Licking & Spitting Biting we could handle because he needs SOMEONE or SOMETHING to bite but the spitting and licking he can do with no object or person around. Sometimes it's all I can do to not I do the no spitting we only spit when we brush our teeth. No licking me or daddy so we enforce the personal boundaries. I'm constantly stooping down to his eye level, taking a deep breath so I don't and telling him, "no spitting" Oh and the yelling. I know it lately seems to him like all we do is tell him not to do something and we try to phrase it in the positive as much as possible, redirect, etc. Sometimes he'll start spitting when we've told him not to something else. Or worse, if we tell him to stop something even with redirection he'll start to bang his head or his hand or something else in order to ask for a "pat, pat" and thus the issue is derailed. The yelling, oh my goodness the yelling, especially of course when his brother is asleep but many times just in reaction to being told something he can't do or have. Now any help with strategies? I'm definitely hoping that he'll outgrow it but in the meantime we just have to be consistent right? __________________ Marielle esFP (yup, they're visually proportional) dyt type 3 and my type 3 smilies cook, sew, knit, crochet, repeat - my blog http://www.maricucu.blogspot.com Married to T for 13 years and watching over the herd: I 10.5 yo R 8.25 yo N 5.5 yo M 3.75 yo “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.” -Mark Twain

03-05-2006, 04:51 PM	#2
executivejellybean Guest Posts: n/a	Re: How to curb annoying toddler behavior - Licking & Spitting Hi Marielle, I'm no "expert", but I do have lots of children and I know from experience that having a new baby in the house will make even the most angelic child a wild one. It sounds like you are doing all the right things, and you are being much more patient than most. It will pass, it sure will. Keep telling him no, make sure he gets lots of lovey time with you, and you'll see that it will start to dissipate. We still have a 4 year old with "rubbing" problems- she gets her little fingers right in the crook of your elbow and RUBS away. Some days it is super sensitive, and I want to fling her hand away, but I have to take her hand and redirect her. This is nothing compared to some of the things she did when her sister was born! It does get better. Congratualtions on your new arrival!! I hope this helps.

03-05-2006, 05:09 PM	#3
ArmsOfLove Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 79,607	Re: How to curb annoying toddler behavior - Licking & Spitting I just tell my children "spitting is for in the bathroom" and send or walk them there. As for licking--what is he licking??? how frustrating __________________ Crystal "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou

03-05-2006, 06:02 PM	#4
Marielle Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 7,321	Re: How to curb annoying toddler behavior - Licking & Spitting Jeanne that really does help. Thank you. Crystal LOL he licks our clothes but when he doesn't have a person or dog (eww), he'll lick doorknobs, floors, even bleachers in public places. At first I tried ignoring it and offering positive attention throughout the day but then I had not so gentle moments when I . It's just within the couple of weeks that I've been saying no spitting, etc. BTW, I tried the taking him to the bathroom trick tonight and it caught his attention to where he couldn't try his other behaviors to derail the topic at hand. __________________ Marielle esFP (yup, they're visually proportional) dyt type 3 and my type 3 smilies cook, sew, knit, crochet, repeat - my blog http://www.maricucu.blogspot.com Married to T for 13 years and watching over the herd: I 10.5 yo R 8.25 yo N 5.5 yo M 3.75 yo “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.” -Mark Twain

03-05-2006, 06:04 PM	#5
ArmsOfLove Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 79,607	Re: How to curb annoying toddler behavior - Licking & Spitting I do have to wonder if the licking is a sensory issue. Does he only do it when he's frustrated? Or is it something he does a lot? Like chewing his shirts or licking himself, etc. __________________ Crystal "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou

03-05-2006, 06:08 PM	#6
Marielle Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 7,321	Re: How to curb annoying toddler behavior - Licking & Spitting no licking himself, just when he's frustrated at not getting something or being able to do something. Or of course if Daddy's busy with something and he wants his attention he'll go lick Daddy's knee. I tried observing him for short period to see if it was a sensory thing and it didn't look like it but I'm not an expert. __________________ Marielle esFP (yup, they're visually proportional) dyt type 3 and my type 3 smilies cook, sew, knit, crochet, repeat - my blog http://www.maricucu.blogspot.com Married to T for 13 years and watching over the herd: I 10.5 yo R 8.25 yo N 5.5 yo M 3.75 yo “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.” -Mark Twain

03-05-2006, 06:18 PM	#7
ArmsOfLove Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 79,607	Re: How to curb annoying toddler behavior - Licking & Spitting You mentioned that you have a dog. TBH, some young children want to be the dog. One friend's dd crawled, barked and insisted you pet her--even wanted to eat her spaghetti with her mouth and no hands Is he maybe speaking dog to get your language? __________________ Crystal "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou

03-05-2006, 08:51 PM	#8
Marielle Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 7,321	Re: How to curb annoying toddler behavior - Licking & Spitting Yikes, never thought of that one. LOL and we have 3 dogs, all pre-kids and as much as I love them I still wonder what the heck we were thinking (all adopted and made their way to us softies one by one). I'll have to observe the kiddo much more closely to decipher. At the very least it makes for great entertainment. __________________ Marielle esFP (yup, they're visually proportional) dyt type 3 and my type 3 smilies cook, sew, knit, crochet, repeat - my blog http://www.maricucu.blogspot.com Married to T for 13 years and watching over the herd: I 10.5 yo R 8.25 yo N 5.5 yo M 3.75 yo “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.” -Mark Twain

03-05-2006, 09:31 PM	#9
AmyDoll Deactivated Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: State of Grace Posts: 11,062	Re: How to curb annoying toddler behavior - Licking & Spitting I've noticed that Sam licks when he's thirsty. I usually tell him "X isn't for licking" Would you like a drink?"

03-06-2006, 03:14 PM	#10
Marielle Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 7,321	Re: How to curb annoying toddler behavior - Licking & Spitting Okay now I've been observing and I noticed he had some soreness on one of his thumbs and it turns out he's been kind of gnawing on his thumb or at least sticking them in his mouth. He never too a paci (we tried) or his thumb so this is odd but could it be related to stress/frustration or the fact that he's not getting to nurse unlimited amounts like he did prebaby? (I now nurse him before nap & bedtime, sometimes more often when he's sick). He's been sticking both thumbs in his mouth, not sucking on them but just enough to bite or lick them. __________________ Marielle esFP (yup, they're visually proportional) dyt type 3 and my type 3 smilies cook, sew, knit, crochet, repeat - my blog http://www.maricucu.blogspot.com Married to T for 13 years and watching over the herd: I 10.5 yo R 8.25 yo N 5.5 yo M 3.75 yo “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.” -Mark Twain

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