he's driving me nuts today

Ugh, ok ds who is 5 has been generally doing much better but this morning he is pushing me to my limits! I told him to get his shoes on so we could go outside so he didnt do it and we were going out and he started having a fit saying that we should wait for him, I told him when he had his shoes on he could join us but we were ready and we werent waiting because he didnt get his shoes on when he was supposed to. So he started pulling on the door and trying to push his way out screaming, wait wait. I was shutting the door because he was screaming. Well, I lost it I totally started yelling at him and grabbed him and pushed him into his room, Oh I really wanted to spank him, that is the closest I have been to spanking in a while. Iam so sickof him being so demanding, he wants to be first, everyone has to wait for him and if he doesnt like something weall have to suffer while he yells and cries about it. I just got a comfort corner set up and it seems to help but I blew it this morning. he talks back and tries to argue about everything. I am really trying to set some firm boundaries with him and not yell, but even when I dont yell and use a stern voice, he says "mommy your scaring me your using a mad voice" so how do I tell him something firmly and seriously? I am fed up with this! Help wise mommies!

Ugh, ok ds who is 5 has been generally doing much better but this morning he is pushing me to my limits! I told him to get his shoes on so we could go outside so he didnt do it and we were going out and he started having a fit saying that we should wait for him, I told him when he had his shoes on he could join us but we were ready and we werent waiting because he didnt get his shoes on when he was supposed to. So he started pulling on the door and trying to push his way out screaming, wait wait. I was shutting the door because he was screaming. Well, I lost it I totally started yelling at him and grabbed him and pushed him into his room, Oh I really wanted to spank him, that is the closest I have been to spanking in a while. Iam so sickof him being so demanding, he wants to be first, everyone has to wait for him and if he doesnt like something weall have to suffer while he yells and cries about it. I just got a comfort corner set up and it seems to help but I blew it this morning. he talks back and tries to argue about everything. I am really trying to set some firm boundaries with him and not yell, but even when I dont yell and use a stern voice, he says "mommy your scaring me your using a mad voice" so how do I tell him something firmly and seriously? I am fed up with this! Help wise mommies!

Yikes... I have a son who was just like that... is it any comfort that sometime after my son's 6th B-day that type of behavior went away?

Here's a couple things to try.... next time when you see your son not following through get down on his level, look him in the eyes, tell him it's time to get his shoes on and put his shoes in his hands (or take his hand and walk hime to his shoes). Sometimes I think that when you tell a child of that age to get his shoes on (or whatever) and his shoes are across the room or in his closet that the chances of getting sidetracked on the way to the shoes are really high. Also make sure that there are no distractions...make sure the TV is off and/or the toys he is playing with are put away.

Now if he gets into the screaming fit mode and there's a chance he might hurt himself, you or your home... I'd give him a bear hug. Take a deep breath so that you can keep your cool (even if only on the outside) and hug. Then tell him that as soon as he is ready to get his shoes on you will let go. If you are unfamiliar with bear hugs check out Crystal's 5 step thread.

And my firm voice isn't loud. It is simply me making a statement without a please or a smile. My firm voice is used when I need my children's compliance right now and usually comes after I've asked for something to be done once already. Sometimes it helps, especially with my ds that I mentioned above, to have him repeat back to me what I've said.

Hang in there and know that those of us with 5 year olds have been in your shoes. Sometimes we blow it. That's why it's nice to come here and get feedback and perspective.

Yikes... I have a son who was just like that... is it any comfort that sometime after my son's 6th B-day that type of behavior went away?

Here's a couple things to try.... next time when you see your son not following through get down on his level, look him in the eyes, tell him it's time to get his shoes on and put his shoes in his hands (or take his hand and walk hime to his shoes). Sometimes I think that when you tell a child of that age to get his shoes on (or whatever) and his shoes are across the room or in his closet that the chances of getting sidetracked on the way to the shoes are really high. Also make sure that there are no distractions...make sure the TV is off and/or the toys he is playing with are put away.

Now if he gets into the screaming fit mode and there's a chance he might hurt himself, you or your home... I'd give him a bear hug. Take a deep breath so that you can keep your cool (even if only on the outside) and hug. Then tell him that as soon as he is ready to get his shoes on you will let go. If you are unfamiliar with bear hugs check out Crystal's 5 step thread.

And my firm voice isn't loud. It is simply me making a statement without a please or a smile. My firm voice is used when I need my children's compliance right now and usually comes after I've asked for something to be done once already. Sometimes it helps, especially with my ds that I mentioned above, to have him repeat back to me what I've said.

Hang in there and know that those of us with 5 year olds have been in your shoes. Sometimes we blow it. That's why it's nice to come here and get feedback and perspective.