So tired I could die

I’m desperate – I’m so tired I could die yet I can’t get to sleep during the day when DS
naps.

This is really pulling me down…

I wake every time DS moves during the night…what am I doing wrong??

I feel like such a lousy mother.

[Myrtle]

If being tired made a lousy mom, we'd all be lousy moms.
I think it sounds like you're a very attentive mom. Are you having trouble sleeping during ds's naps b/c you're doing other things, or is it b/c your mind won't settle down? If you're doing other things, they can wait. Dishes and laundry will always be there and can wait while you get some rest. If it's hard to settle your mind, that's totally understandable b/c you've had some major life changes recently, and you have a lot to process. While prayer is vitally important, it's often the first thing to slide, but talking this over with God would be a good idea. (Is this terrible to say?) I have fallen asleep praying so many times. There is a verse in Psalms that talks about God giving rest, so maybe that's ok.

[MarynMunchkins]

I think taking naps midday can be a learning process. Try some chamomile tea as soon as you get the baby down and see if that helps you catch a nap.

You're in the hardest part of having a hn baby. Those first 6 months are killer.

[4LovesMom]

Originally Posted by Hopeful

I wake every time DS moves during the night…what am I doing wrong??

I feel like such a lousy mother.

Could it be that co-sleeping just isn't the best option for you? I agree with and affirm your attentiveness - but some parents don't share their sleep time and space well. I don't think you're doing anything wrong at all - but maybe you could try having your son in the room but in a porta-crib, a sidecar set-up, or some other variation. Just some different ideas.
So sorry about the tiredness. I understand!

I'm going to try to change his crib so that it's by our bed and level with it. Half way between co-sleeping and side-car system I guess.
I think when I co-sleep I am subconsciously worried I will squash him (I almost did once but woke up in time).
Also, we have a double bed and there doesn't seem to be enough room for the 3 of us.
It's so hard though bc I want and need to be with him.

Perhaps I am too attentive?

I am also going to start on chamomile tea - can't do any harm anyway.

Thanks for 'listening'

[SouthPaw]

I understand. I actually only co-sleep "part time". If I'm pretty well rested, OR if DD just won't settle on her own, we snuggle in bed together & co-sleep. However, if I am really tired, I try to nurse her to sleep, put her in the crib, kick all the animals out of my room, and sleep all alone (until she wakes up at 2am - then she comes back to bed with me). I think I started doing this around 3 and a half months. You can be an attentive mother without co-sleeping full time, and you'll probably be MORE attentive if your brain is functioning

We started doing this when I was waking up every hour or so at night, whenever she twitched, wanted to nurse, etc. Actually at first I just put her in the pack n play in my room - over the last couple of months she has transitioned to her own crib. I've noticed that if I nurse her to sleep, she will wake up looking around for her "pacifier"... but if I nurse her til drowsy, then rock her to sleep, she won't wake up as frequently.

You're not doing anything wrong. Different babies need to be parented differently. If you can't sleep with DS, that's not a failure. Try giving him his own space, and maybe co-sleeping just when he is having a hard time getting to sleep. Once you have erased some of your built up sleep deprivation, you may be more comfortable going back to co-sleeping (I kinda go through cycles, tell you the truth.. a few days w/ her, a few days w/out so I'm not a zombie)

Oh and I have a queen bed and there's just 2 of us (me and DD) - and it's too small LOL. I don't know where DH is going to sleep when he gets back

[Amber]

Around this age is when we ended up moving our ds from the pack 'n play in our room to the crib in his room. Every little noise he would make would wake me up. We both ended up getting better sleep that way. I would have loved to be able to cosleep, but in reality it just doesn't work for me

Taking an afternnon nap really helped (and still helps me).

[Embracing Grace]

I hope you can get some rest soon! I can totally relate to what you're going through.... I was extremely exhausted the first several months pp. It's hard right now, but it will get better!

[4LovesMom]

Originally Posted by Hopeful

I'm going to try to change his crib so that it's by our bed and level with it. Half way between co-sleeping and side-car system I guess.
I think when I co-sleep I am subconsciously worried I will squash him (I almost did once but woke up in time).
Also, we have a double bed and there doesn't seem to be enough room for the 3 of us.
It's so hard though bc I want and need to be with him.

Perhaps I am too attentive?

I am also going to start on chamomile tea - can't do any harm anyway.

Thanks for 'listening'

That sounds like a great idea - see how it works! And heck, yes - if you've made it this far with a double bed, you're a champ! Get comfortable! For the record, you don't sound too attentive. You sound like a mom who loves her child and is willing to try things to care for and bond with him! Good for you.

Originally Posted by Hopeful

I'm going to try to change his crib so that it's by our bed and level with it. Half way between co-sleeping and side-car system I guess.
I think when I co-sleep I am subconsciously worried I will squash him (I almost did once but woke up in time).
Also, we have a double bed and there doesn't seem to be enough room for the 3 of us.
It's so hard though bc I want and need to be with him.

Perhaps I am too attentive?

I am also going to start on chamomile tea - can't do any harm anyway.

Thanks for 'listening'

I think not having enough room can be a big problem when co-sleeping, especially if you're in a double. Side carting is a great option with a bed your size...if you are only getting wee amounts of sleep at a time, then I think you'd at least want those little amounts to be solid sleep...which is hard if you are worrying about squishing your little one.

With sidecarting, you are still "with" your baby, you just end up having a little extra space to stretch out and get a little decent shut eye.

New babies always seem to keep my adrenaline rushing. I'm always making sure they are breathing, looking at them, cuddling them, etc...sometimes I have found it difficult to just "relax". Perhaps the tea will help, and definately time will settle you all down into a rythym that suits your family.

Don't feel like a lousy mother...embrace the newness of it all and give yourself room to experience what works and grow... you'll do fine...and rest as much as you can.

[Radosny Matka]

No advice, just support. ITU how you feel. I am still there some days.