DH is trying tonite...

[kycanonist]

to put DD down... it's always been a struggle to get her to let DH try to put her down, even when she was a baby... she's now 39 months old and she's really not "needing" me so much as she just "wants" me... there was a big teary scene where she kept screaming "Not YOU.... Mama!" and my DH, God bless him, was so calm and loving with her! He just kept saying "You know how you have to take turns doing things? Well, Mommy and Daddy are going to take turns reading you your stories at bedtime..." and she finally gave in and they are reading in her bed right now.

I really need to get her into the habit of letting this happen, b/c once the new baby comes, there are going to be all sorts of adjustments... and DH just adores DD... he desperately WANTS to be part of her night time routine... so, while this is a struggle tonite, it will get easier, right???

Jacqui

[expatmom]

It will get easier; I promise.

When my dh was taking over some of the bedtime routine, he found it helpful if I would go out for an hour or so. Our dd was much less distressed when she knew he was the only option. Knowing I was somewhere in the house & just not coming for her, worked her up more then when she knew mommy was out getting groceries.

DH ended up taking over the bedtime routine completely when I was pregnant with ds. It helped out a lot when I was in hospital having the baby and was away for a couple of nights. It has been a real bonding experience for them. He does the majority of the bedtime routine with both kids now.

Wow, Jacqui! GOOD LUCK with that!! I am sure it will definitely get better, babies get used to things It can't be easy doing the nighttime routine all yourself (I know this because my dh wouldn't have the first clue what to do.) ALL the time...

Anyway! Good luck!!!

[kycanonist]

Well, the biggest thing is that Alex has nursed down to sleep her whole life. While she doesn't nurse during the night anymore, she still nurses down to sleep. So, this is something that is going to be a bit of an adjustment for her... Something we are seriously reevaluating with this next baby... I mean, it's not been so bad overall, but there are definitely times when it would have been nice for DH to be able to put the baby to bed...

[Joanne]

Something we are seriously reevaluating with this next baby... I mean, it's not been so bad overall, but there are definitely times when it would have been nice for DH to be able to put the baby to bed...

Don't change it. Honestly, babies are made to fall asleep at the breast. Certainly, for some kids, a difficult transition happens later. But later is a time when they have more experience and maturity to understand and cooperate.

It's a cultural idea that babies need to learn, early, to fall asleep without suckling. I don't want to discourage you from things that work. If the next baby can and does fall asleep easily without the breast, I'm not going to insist you change that. I just don't want you to move into this next baby thinking you did something wrong the first time. You didn't.

[CelticJourney]

You know part of the reason she may be holding on to her desire for you to put her down is that she knows you want her to let go and is feeling pushed away and therefore fears that a baby is coming to 'replace' her. They are smart little things, ya' know

One of the best pieces of advice I got when I was expecting #2 was to just enjoy #1 and don't expect things to be problems - 'they rise to the occasion'. Just like you didn't really understand what life would be like with baby #1, you can't really know with #2. I think people have a little fear about handling two and that anticipation of issues creates more issues than are necessary.

I remember carring my first to bed around my big ol belly late into my second pregnancy. After her sister was born, she would cuddle up next to me while I nursed and we were just a happy little pile of family. Much to my surprise, dd1 would just say 'I'm tired, I'm going to bed' and trot off down the hall.

Hard as it may be, just relax and let things flow.

[greenemama]

i struggle with similar feelings with our 3 yo. it has helped us to have the whole family wind down together with our before bed routine. there is often protestation when i leave henry (3) with dh as i take the baby with me to our bed, but i think some of it is just the drama of it all with him -- as soon as i'm out of sight he's giggling and snuggling up with dh. it took awhile for us to get to this point, but we took the time to be gentle about it so that he now enjoys drifting off to sleep with dh instead of always nursing to sleep. he *is* still nursing -- we just try not to always nurse all the way to sleep at this point in his life.

sleep issues are difficult.

[kycanonist]

Thanks ladies! I've always felt good about nursing down to sleep. It's always worked so well for us, if you kwim.

Originally Posted by kycanonist

Well, the biggest thing is that Alex has nursed down to sleep her whole life. While she doesn't nurse during the night anymore, she still nurses down to sleep. So, this is something that is going to be a bit of an adjustment for her... Something we are seriously reevaluating with this next baby... I mean, it's not been so bad overall, but there are definitely times when it would have been nice for DH to be able to put the baby to bed...

This is me and Delaney to a Tee. It would be nice sometimes to have Dh put her to bed, but he frankly can't because the whole no breast thing gets in the way... So I do it every night and I honestly look forward to it.. this may change if I ever get pg again..