We did it!!!!!

mummy2boys · 04-19-2005, 04:34 PM

Well I am proud and I just had to share

Shopping for us is usually a BIG drama......so since starting GBD we have talked about what sort of behaviour we should use at the shops (manners, think of others etc). We talked about it yesterday before I dared venture out and the boys thought that if they were respectful, kind to others (not shouting, running, generally being rowdy :P) that a ride would be a good reward.

Sooo.....off we went (with many prayers and trepidation) and we prayed in the car before we left and when we got to the shops. I had to ask the boys once to lower their voices a bit and they were EXCELLENT

A lady we passed in the supermarket a few times stopped me in the last aisle and said that it was nice to see well behaved children who were helpful (they were putting things into the trolley as I pointed them out) and not shouting or running around the aisles. She said I was a good mum who obviously taught my kids well.

Well, I thanked her and went on our way. When we were out of earshot I praised the boys and told them how proud I was with them and what a good job they had done about thinking of others and being respectful. I also thanked God for seeing the "fruits of my labour" at last!!

It might not seem like much but the last few months have ben very, very torrid ones and I was beginning to lose hope but now maybe I can see some light at the end of the tunnel. I just wanted to share with you all as you wonderful mammas have helped me more than you know and encouraged me and I have read alot and I think we are beginning to see a change and I owe a lot of you a big

THANK YOU ALL

04-19-2005, 04:41 PM

ArmsOfLove · 04-19-2005, 04:46 PM

That is so awesome

mummy2boys · 04-19-2005, 05:06 PM

Crystal ~ Just a quick question......was it okay that I gave them a reward or incentive for being good??? I don't want them to be good just so they "get" something IYKWIM

Also, what if they had've been naughty.....do I them remove the priviledge???

Sorry but first time success and I know it won't alweays happen like that so I want to be prepared TIA

ArmsOfLove · 04-19-2005, 05:10 PM

I think that a reward to help change a habit is a fine thing

Usually what I do is plan something fun or special for the end of something difficult. I really stage it that the goal is setting us all up for success and fun. As soon as we're done shopping we will get french fries for the ride home, or whatever. I remind them of the fun to come but try not to threaten them with it. If they are really losing it then we go home--not to take away the reward, but because they aren't able to do anything, swim? It's only taken one or two times of actually leaving and going home and they knew I wasn't kidding, and they also know we only do it when they are too tired/overwhelmed/etc.

mummy2boys · 04-19-2005, 05:46 PM

Thanks Crystal

Radosny Matka · 04-19-2005, 07:14 PM

WTG!

SansSouci · 04-20-2005, 12:04 AM

Wow! Good for you!

I can totally sympathize - it's the reason I haven't been grocery shopping in about 4 weeks! It's just not worth the fight with Emily in the grocery cart. (DH is out of town for a few months, so we've been eating a lot of fast food/restaurants.)

-Elizabeth

04-19-2005, 04:34 PM	#1
mummy2boys Moderator in We'd Love to Meet You, Let's Talk, High Need/Spirited Children, Joyous Homekeeping, and The Cookbook Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 16,028	We did it!!!!! Well I am proud and I just had to share Shopping for us is usually a BIG drama......so since starting GBD we have talked about what sort of behaviour we should use at the shops (manners, think of others etc). We talked about it yesterday before I dared venture out and the boys thought that if they were respectful, kind to others (not shouting, running, generally being rowdy :P) that a ride would be a good reward. Sooo.....off we went (with many prayers and trepidation) and we prayed in the car before we left and when we got to the shops. I had to ask the boys once to lower their voices a bit and they were EXCELLENT A lady we passed in the supermarket a few times stopped me in the last aisle and said that it was nice to see well behaved children who were helpful (they were putting things into the trolley as I pointed them out) and not shouting or running around the aisles. She said I was a good mum who obviously taught my kids well. Well, I thanked her and went on our way. When we were out of earshot I praised the boys and told them how proud I was with them and what a good job they had done about thinking of others and being respectful. I also thanked God for seeing the "fruits of my labour" at last!! It might not seem like much but the last few months have ben very, very torrid ones and I was beginning to lose hope but now maybe I can see some light at the end of the tunnel. I just wanted to share with you all as you wonderful mammas have helped me more than you know and encouraged me and I have read alot and I think we are beginning to see a change and I owe a lot of you a big THANK YOU ALL __________________ Alysia Married to the love of my life Mama to 2 wonderful boys Waiting to meet 3 in heaven 2/2005, 5/2007 & 8/2011 Striving, with God's help, to be a gentle mother each day

04-19-2005, 04:41 PM	#2
Irene Guest Posts: n/a	Re: We did it!!!!!

04-19-2005, 04:46 PM	#3
ArmsOfLove Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 79,607	Re: We did it!!!!! That is so awesome __________________ Crystal "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou

04-19-2005, 05:06 PM	#4
mummy2boys Moderator in We'd Love to Meet You, Let's Talk, High Need/Spirited Children, Joyous Homekeeping, and The Cookbook Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 16,028	Re: We did it!!!!! Crystal ~ Just a quick question......was it okay that I gave them a reward or incentive for being good??? I don't want them to be good just so they "get" something IYKWIM Also, what if they had've been naughty.....do I them remove the priviledge??? Sorry but first time success and I know it won't alweays happen like that so I want to be prepared TIA __________________ Alysia Married to the love of my life Mama to 2 wonderful boys Waiting to meet 3 in heaven 2/2005, 5/2007 & 8/2011 Striving, with God's help, to be a gentle mother each day

04-19-2005, 05:10 PM	#5
ArmsOfLove Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 79,607	Re: We did it!!!!! I think that a reward to help change a habit is a fine thing Usually what I do is plan something fun or special for the end of something difficult. I really stage it that the goal is setting us all up for success and fun. As soon as we're done shopping we will get french fries for the ride home, or whatever. I remind them of the fun to come but try not to threaten them with it. If they are really losing it then we go home--not to take away the reward, but because they aren't able to do anything, swim? It's only taken one or two times of actually leaving and going home and they knew I wasn't kidding, and they also know we only do it when they are too tired/overwhelmed/etc. __________________ Crystal "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou

04-19-2005, 05:46 PM	#6
mummy2boys Moderator in We'd Love to Meet You, Let's Talk, High Need/Spirited Children, Joyous Homekeeping, and The Cookbook Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Sydney, Australia Posts: 16,028	Re: We did it!!!!! Thanks Crystal __________________ Alysia Married to the love of my life Mama to 2 wonderful boys Waiting to meet 3 in heaven 2/2005, 5/2007 & 8/2011 Striving, with God's help, to be a gentle mother each day

04-19-2005, 07:14 PM	#7
Radosny Matka Rose Garden I am so blessed! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: somewhere between sane and crazy Posts: 26,922	Re: We did it!!!!! WTG! __________________ Sara Wife to Love of my life 8/98 Momma to my precious children: N 17 years, P 13 years, O 5 years! Remembering our babies: 12/98 9/99 12/09 1/17

04-20-2005, 12:04 AM	#8
SansSouci Rose Garden Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 10,084	Re: We did it!!!!! Wow! Good for you! I can totally sympathize - it's the reason I haven't been grocery shopping in about 4 weeks! It's just not worth the fight with Emily in the grocery cart. (DH is out of town for a few months, so we've been eating a lot of fast food/restaurants.) -Elizabeth __________________ Elizabeth DYT 4, HSP, ISTJ married 18 years to ISTJ DD 14y/o ESFJ DS 12 y/o GF/CF/etc. & Recovering from Autism I Juice Plus+ and sharing it with others. Fruits & veggies in a capsule or soft-chew!

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