Did I do okay?

Radosny Matka · 04-14-2005, 02:21 PM

Nathaniel usually has a meltdown when he wakes up. I have no idea why. Maybe he just needs a chance to calm down? I have decided that I am no longer going to get him out of bed when he is

. I just plain refuse. So today I tried a new approach. I went in and told him "It's time to get up, you have a choice. Do you want to be carried downstair or walk?" This was met with trashing and kicking, and plenty of "no's" I tried repeating the statement again. He immediately said "no" and hit me. I got up and left the room (to gain composure). A couple mintues later I came back in and said, "when you are ready to get up, call for me." He said, "I'm ready to get up." He stopped crying and got up. From now on, if I go into his room and he is

, I think I will just say to him, "It looks like you need a few minutes to yourself to wake up. Call me when you have calmed down and are ready to get up." Then I will just wait out of sight but near his door until he calms down. Does that sound okay? What should I do if he starts

when we get downstairs after he originally calmed down. He is such a crank-pot after naps (always has been). He can be cranky, but I'm tired of being the target of his crankiness (yelling at us, saying no to everything). Ideas?

milkmommy · 04-14-2005, 02:28 PM

IS he really ready to be up?

Deanna

mom2_AthruZ · 04-14-2005, 02:38 PM

It sounds like what you did was fine. You gave him time to have his big emotions, he did and when he was ready he was able to join you. I have a 9yo that has always woken up grumpy which cane be sooo

at times. Crystal suggested reading the book "I Love You Rituals" by Becky Bailey. It has a ritual for waking up and going to sleep that I have been using with both of my girls. It is called "goodnight elbow" which of course is altered to "goodmorning elbow". I say goodmorning to her elbows, hansd, fingers etc while giving them a little massage. They both love it and it has done wonders for the 9yo and her mood. The book has been a great source of help.

As for what to do if he has a meltdown when you get downstairs maybe you could head to the comfort corner and read a book. I am still learning so I know others here will be more helpful.

to you maa you are doing a great job!

joystrength · 04-14-2005, 03:01 PM

great idea with the "get up" massage! I'll have to try it.

ArmsOfLove · 04-14-2005, 07:36 PM

I think you did great

Honestly, at that age I'd let him know he can come get me when he's awake and ready to be around people and take myself out of the after-nap scene.

Radosny Matka · 04-14-2005, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArmsOfLove

I think you did great

Honestly, at that age I'd let him know he can come get me when he's awake and ready to be around people and take myself out of the after-nap scene.

I've tried. He won't.

ArmsOfLove · 04-14-2005, 07:46 PM

what do you mean he won't ???

Radosny Matka · 04-15-2005, 05:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArmsOfLove

what do you mean he won't ???

He calls (or cries) for me to go get him. I've told him that it's okay to get out of bed and find me when he wakes up, but he won't.

milkmommy · 04-15-2005, 07:13 AM

I'm not sure how your snging voice is or how you feel about transitional songs bu I find they are great for those grumpy wakes.

Here's is one of my favourites for the grumpy wake.. I change the words a bit to fit my DD better. http://www.songsforteaching.com/fredkoch/greatday.htm

Deanna

04-15-2005, 07:43 AM

I can remember being really grumpy sometimes when I woke up for a lot of my childhood. I just needed time to come back to earth and wake up gently and it felt like everyone was talking too loud etc. Maybe he's quite sensitive like I was/am ? I think you're doing great, I wish I'd been allowed to wake up gently in my own time, but no, my Dad enjoyed yelling and yanking the covers off..letting me know who was boss. Might sound funny, but at the time it was not and only made me grumpier!

ArmsOfLove · 04-15-2005, 12:26 PM

Ahhhhh, I see. Then when he calls you (and my 3yo does this for me) try going to him in different ways until you find the one that works best with him. With my little guy I need to ask him before I advance and feel him out for what he needs: May I hug you? Would you like a back rub? Do you need a cuddle? What can I do to help you? And when he says "I Can't" that means he can't do it himself.

04-14-2005, 02:21 PM	#1
Radosny Matka Rose Garden I am so blessed! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: somewhere between sane and crazy Posts: 26,922	Did I do okay? Nathaniel usually has a meltdown when he wakes up. I have no idea why. Maybe he just needs a chance to calm down? I have decided that I am no longer going to get him out of bed when he is . I just plain refuse. So today I tried a new approach. I went in and told him "It's time to get up, you have a choice. Do you want to be carried downstair or walk?" This was met with trashing and kicking, and plenty of "no's" I tried repeating the statement again. He immediately said "no" and hit me. I got up and left the room (to gain composure). A couple mintues later I came back in and said, "when you are ready to get up, call for me." He said, "I'm ready to get up." He stopped crying and got up. From now on, if I go into his room and he is , I think I will just say to him, "It looks like you need a few minutes to yourself to wake up. Call me when you have calmed down and are ready to get up." Then I will just wait out of sight but near his door until he calms down. Does that sound okay? What should I do if he starts when we get downstairs after he originally calmed down. He is such a crank-pot after naps (always has been). He can be cranky, but I'm tired of being the target of his crankiness (yelling at us, saying no to everything). Ideas? __________________ Sara Wife to Love of my life 8/98 Momma to my precious children: N 17 years, P 13 years, O 5 years! Remembering our babies: 12/98 9/99 12/09 1/17

04-14-2005, 02:28 PM	#2
milkmommy Rose Garden sisters! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Sunniest place on Earth and hotter than Phoenix! Might as well be sitting on the sun... Posts: 35,302	Re: Did I do okay? IS he really ready to be up? Deanna __________________ Deanna wife to Shawn since 2001 mom to a young adult Cecilia , tween Margaret and three I will hold one day in heaven.

04-14-2005, 02:38 PM	#3
mom2_AthruZ Deactivated formerly readingmama Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: just this side of crazy. ;) Posts: 2,950	Re: Did I do okay? It sounds like what you did was fine. You gave him time to have his big emotions, he did and when he was ready he was able to join you. I have a 9yo that has always woken up grumpy which cane be sooo at times. Crystal suggested reading the book "I Love You Rituals" by Becky Bailey. It has a ritual for waking up and going to sleep that I have been using with both of my girls. It is called "goodnight elbow" which of course is altered to "goodmorning elbow". I say goodmorning to her elbows, hansd, fingers etc while giving them a little massage. They both love it and it has done wonders for the 9yo and her mood. The book has been a great source of help. As for what to do if he has a meltdown when you get downstairs maybe you could head to the comfort corner and read a book. I am still learning so I know others here will be more helpful. to you maa you are doing a great job!

04-14-2005, 03:01 PM	#4
joystrength Rose Garden Get it? Sock.Monkey. ???? Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 4,258	Re: Did I do okay? great idea with the "get up" massage! I'll have to try it. __________________ TONYA Mommy to DS, 12 YO and DD, 10 YO and DD, 6 YO and angel babe His joy IS my strength! Live a life of HIS purpose How long will it go on? If you keep living the way you are living, then you will keep living the way you are living. If you want your life to change, then CHANGE your life. Live differently, for repentance is a way of life. -- DH!

04-14-2005, 07:36 PM	#5
ArmsOfLove Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 79,607	Re: Did I do okay? I think you did great Honestly, at that age I'd let him know he can come get me when he's awake and ready to be around people and take myself out of the after-nap scene. __________________ Crystal "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou

04-14-2005, 07:46 PM	#7
ArmsOfLove Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 79,607	Re: Did I do okay? what do you mean he won't ??? __________________ Crystal "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou

04-15-2005, 07:13 AM	#9
milkmommy Rose Garden sisters! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Sunniest place on Earth and hotter than Phoenix! Might as well be sitting on the sun... Posts: 35,302	Re: Did I do okay? I'm not sure how your snging voice is or how you feel about transitional songs bu I find they are great for those grumpy wakes. Here's is one of my favourites for the grumpy wake.. I change the words a bit to fit my DD better. http://www.songsforteaching.com/fredkoch/greatday.htm Deanna __________________ Deanna wife to Shawn since 2001 mom to a young adult Cecilia , tween Margaret and three I will hold one day in heaven.

04-15-2005, 07:43 AM	#10
Kaz Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Did I do okay? I can remember being really grumpy sometimes when I woke up for a lot of my childhood. I just needed time to come back to earth and wake up gently and it felt like everyone was talking too loud etc. Maybe he's quite sensitive like I was/am ? I think you're doing great, I wish I'd been allowed to wake up gently in my own time, but no, my Dad enjoyed yelling and yanking the covers off..letting me know who was boss. Might sound funny, but at the time it was not and only made me grumpier!

04-15-2005, 12:26 PM	#11
ArmsOfLove Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 79,607	Re: Did I do okay? Ahhhhh, I see. Then when he calls you (and my 3yo does this for me) try going to him in different ways until you find the one that works best with him. With my little guy I need to ask him before I advance and feel him out for what he needs: May I hug you? Would you like a back rub? Do you need a cuddle? What can I do to help you? And when he says "I Can't" that means he can't do it himself. __________________ Crystal "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou

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