What would you do?

What would you do if at 5 minutes before your dd needs to leave for ballet practice you find that your son has:

Borrowed a game that's off limits from the neighbor and attempted to download it onto the computer without your consent then hides under his bed because he's refusing to go get in the truck so you can leave (and he HAS to go with you)??

[ArmsOfLove]

how frustrating.

Probably let them know that you'd deal with that when you get home and drag him, if necessary, to the car

well, that makes me feel better. I was really ticked off. I wouldn't have been able to drag him out (he was waiting for that and holding on for dear life). I wasn't happy with what I resorted to, but it wasn't fair to my dd that she would miss ballet because he was being a turd.

What I decided (with my big sister's help) is that he looses 3 days of glow screen time and $3 off his money he's earned for the Amazon.com deal.

Christa

[ArmsOfLove]

I can see how I'd make those related and relevant--how are you planning on doing it:

I don't know yet... what are you thinking? I'm fried... I just got into a big argument with my dh *sigh*.

Well, we are still working out the kinks, and dh is starting to get where I want to go with this (and how his attitude is effecting me... I've been seriously thinking of implementing consequences for him being disrespectful and rude to me, too... what kind of example is he setting?!??!??).

If he blatantly disobeys me again like he did when he wouldn't come out from under the bed, I will fine him $2 on the spot for every time I have to tell him he needs to come out. I think it's logical. My dh explained to him how he's been fined on the spot for not obeying traffic laws (snowmobile laws especially because he didn't bother to go get a new $7 registration tag when he registered his snowmobile).

I don't particularly like setting up a monetary system, but if it is very effective, then I'll do it... and I think it's relative to how the real world operates which is what I want to prepare him for.

Christa

Take the game, put him in the truck, and after we get back home return the game. From there, he wouldn't be allowed unsupervised computer time for a week or more depending on just what is going on.

I would have dragged him out from under his bed. If he's too big and strong for you to drag, I would have enlisted help like you did, but I would also take the bed off the frame and put it on the floor to eliminate that option in the future. ( I *might* have presented this as a future consequence and given him another chance.. it might depend on whether he has a track record of doing this) I have removed one piece of play furniture from our house for this very reason.

If I didn't have anyone to help me.. I would probably just take the mattress and boxspring off the bed so I could get to him and pry his hands lose. I know it's extreme, but what has to be done has to be done.

He would have returned the game to the neighbor under my supervision and explained WHY he was returning it. He would also have let the neighbor (and the neighbor's parents if applicable) know that he is not allowed to borrow games in the future unless they have a certain rating, or unless I give verbal consent first. Is he normally allowed to upload/download stuff on his own? If so, then his computer time is not really the issue, IMO.. but the disallowed game is. I might or might not restrict his computer time. Is the comp. in an open "family" area where you can just glance and see what he's doing? If not, I would strongly consider making that happen.

Take the game, put him in the truck, and after we get back home return the game

LOL, th at's what I did. The neighbors weren't home when we get back. HE gets to take it back and explain to them that he's not allowed to have Teen rated games and he's NOT allowed to borrow games without checking in with me first.

Christa

He would also have let the neighbor (and the neighbor's parents if applicable) know that he is not allowed to borrow games in the future unless they have a certain rating, or unless I give verbal consent first. Is he normally allowed to upload/download stuff on his own?

He's allowed to do it on his own BUT we have very firm rules about what he's allowed to play... he knows this. He's known this for 2 years. He also knows I'm supposed to see it first.

[ArmsOfLove]

because he was being a turd

I did want to add a thought, Christa. Sometimes when we're in a negative dynamic with our children we are unwittingly part of the problem Labeling is something that can actually create self-fulfilling prophesies. I know when I start thinking of my children with negative labels then I'm needing an attitude adjustment. Let's just say I know this because I've btdt

I know... I'm sure God doesn't use negative words to describe us when we're not displaying fruits of the spirit. I was in a really bad mood yesterday. We had a pretty good day today, and he was very pleased with himself with what he accomplished today. I am so thrilled for him . He's an awesome kid... very smart... if there's holes in the rules... he'll find them and work them to his advantage. He makes me tired, but a much better mom.

He makes me tired, but a much better mom.

This is beautiful. What a great thread

It reminds me of the verse Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him and James 1: 2-3 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

Both these verses are for much stronger meaning but in our lives as mothers God knows that we are responsible for bringing up the children, His children. The work He has ordained for us. The verses I think are relevent to both our children and us. God has helped you both and brought you on to be more than you were before.

My favorite saying when we're facing hard stuff:

"In the light of the moment, what does it matter in the face of all eternity?"

We had a younger guy sermon a couple times when we were between pastors... and I loved this sermon... his mom used to tell him this.