Ugh! Friend posted on FB she is using the Ferber method to sleep train her baby.

[kiloyd]

Baby is about 10 months. :cry

I have to say something!

[MegMarch]

I might say something like "yeah, it gets so exhausting sometimes with little ones. I ended up cosleeping rather than sleep training. let me know if you go this way instead and I'll share my favorite safety resources with you."

[kiloyd]

I said that I had some well meaning friends push me to do that when my youngest was about a year. That I fell asleep for 20 minutes outside his door and when I went in and got him he was still crying and he wrapped his arms around my neck and I told him I'd never leave him to cry alone again. That it went against my mother instincts.

Poor baby. :cry Mom said she cried for 56 minutes. :cry:cry

[Hermana Linda]

Here is a good resource.
http://www.drmomma.org/2009/12/train-up-child-in-way-he-should-go.html?m=1

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[Virginia]

Whatever you say, my experience has been that moms are usually more open to advice if it’s given in a private message instead of on their wall/status :hugheart You probably already know this :)

It’s so sad to hear about our friends making decisions like that :( My best friend sleep trained her baby, and it was heartbreaking to me :bheart


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[MudPies]

It has always been odd to me that most people find the silence of orphanages horrifying, yet do the same to their own child.

[Aerynne]

I’m sorry. I haven’t really had any luck convincing people otherwise, but hopefully you will.

[MegMarch]

Yeah, I guess I participate in the conversations hoping to just let them know there are options but mostly so others who aren't at that point yet will know there are options once they have babies who have night needs beyond social expectations.

[kiloyd]

It has always been odd to me that most people find the silence of orphanages horrifying, yet do the same to their own child.

So true! Probably because their child gets love and cuddles during the daytime.

---------- Post added at 10:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:28 PM ----------

I’m sorry. I haven’t really had any luck convincing people otherwise, but hopefully you will.

I'm not a debater at all. So just put that paragraph about my experience. She had several others say something positive about it. :sick

[Soliloquy]

It has always been odd to me that most people find the silence of orphanages horrifying, yet do the same to their own child.

There is a great article about that, written by a couple that went to a foreign orphanage to pick up the child they were about to adopt. I tried to search for it but couldn't find it. Are you familiar with it? I thought it was called "the loudest silence" but that turned up a band or something . . .

[twoplustwo]

Quote not working. . . I’m sorry. I haven’t really had any luck convincing people otherwise, but hopefully you will.


Maybe not directly . . .butno "one" person convinced to not CIO. No "one" person convinced us not to circumcise. Etc. Etc.



Just as no "one" person witnessed to me which eventually led me to be saved at age 30.


It's about cracks and culture.



On the flip side, not saying anything reinforces.



Now, I say that and I am an avid avoider of anything not keeping up with friends on facebook. But I don't check it daily and hide most of my friends due to time constraints.

[Aerynne]

Quote not working. . . I’m sorry. I haven’t really had any luck convincing people otherwise, but hopefully you will.


Maybe not directly . . .butno "one" person convinced to not CIO. No "one" person convinced us not to circumcise. Etc. Etc.



Just as no "one" person witnessed to me which eventually led me to be saved at age 30.


It's about cracks and culture.



On the flip side, not saying anything reinforces.



Now, I say that and I am an avid avoider of anything not keeping up with friends on facebook. But I don't check it daily and hide most of my friends due to time constraints.


That’s true. I just speak up for babies and kids and hope it helps someone.

[MariJo7]

I said that I had some well meaning friends push me to do that when my youngest was about a year. That I fell asleep for 20 minutes outside his door and when I went in and got him he was still crying and he wrapped his arms around my neck and I told him I'd never leave him to cry alone again. That it went against my mother instincts.

Poor baby. :cry Mom said she cried for 56 minutes. :cry:cry


What you said was good! It was right from your heart.

[kiloyd]

I unfollowed her so I didn't have to see the daily updates.

---------- Post added at 06:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:48 PM ----------

What you said was good! It was right from your heart.

Thank you. I didn't want to say "don't do it, it's so sad for baby", but something from my experience.

[Aerynne]

I unfollowed her so I didn't have to see the daily updates.

---------- Post added at 06:49 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:48 PM ----------



Thank you. I didn't want to say "don't do it, it's so sad for baby", but something from my experience.

Maybe if you check back in a few week s you’ll find she gave up. But not seeing daily updates seems smart.

I never thought of cio as like half the orphanage silence, but it makes sense, especially for those who ignore them for 12 hours- half their childhood!

[rjy9343]

If it helps you, coming to places like here before I was a mother really made me rethink the whole cio method. I was planning on it because I didn't really know anything else. I heard that you had to teach them to fall asleep alone and that if you didn't you ended up with a monster. So even if you don't change anyone's mind there, you might start planting seeds on this public thread.:hug2