What was that guys name?...

[mommy2abigail]

Back before we had dd1, we attended a parenting class at our former church. It was a book by a gentleman...very punitive, not Exzo, Tripp, Pearl, or Dobson...who else would it be? In later years, he wrote a letter publicly admitting he focused too much on obedience and his daughter wasn't close to him...? Does this ring a bell for anyone? Thanks

[Hermana Linda]

Ferber? :think Rosemond? :think

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[rjy9343]

I don't think it is Rosemond, he has far from recanted anything. He is still as punitive and head game playing as ever. Ferber only relaxed his methods, but still advocates "controlled crying". He never meant for people to be so dogmatic and let the baby cry until he or she vomited and things like that.

[Hermana Linda]

Reb Bradley?

[rjy9343]

Maybe. :think He still believes in being in control, but thinks he went too far. He is still punitive and not someone I could read with a clear conscience, but he has sort of seen the error of his ways.

---------- Post added at 07:09 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:07 PM ----------

http://www.familyministries.com/HS_Crisis.htm
Here is the article explaining what he thinks were his mistakes. I read it and don't think it violates the rules, but if it does feel free to break the link. Just let me know for future reference.

[Katigre]

I know we've discussed that article before, though it was probably 5+ years ago. It's a good article and well worth reading and discussing, but Reb Bradley is still extremely punitive and I wouldn't advocate his theology or discipline teachings.

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[rjy9343]

I know we've discussed that article before, though it was probably 5+ years ago. It's a good article and well worth reading and discussing, but Reb Bradley is still extremely punitive and I wouldn't advocate his theology or discipline teachings.

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Don't think I recommend them. I think his brand of poison is less cruel but still poison. I read that article and screamed several times because he just does not get it. I can't decide if he wants to get it and is just too invested in his ideas to grasp his mistakes fully, if he is just not there yet, if he is that confused or just does not care. It does not really matter since the end result is still the same. If you spend your life controlling your children, they are going to throw you off somehow and when they do it will not be done in half measures. And it will not be healthy for anyone involved.

[Hermana Linda]

I went ahead and deactivated the link because his site is probably punitive, assuming that it is his site. :hug2

[mommy2abigail]

Yes! It was Reb Bradley. And no, I was NOT advocating him at all. I was looking because I need some information to talk to a relatively new friend. She is majorly caught up in the punitive circle, and I was hoping that by telling her the story of how I moved away from that mindset, I could open some doors. He was my first exposure to "christian parenting" and so I fell for it. Thankfully I found GCM and Mothering.com before my kids were born. :heart

[rjy9343]

Yes! It was Reb Bradley. And no, I was NOT advocating him at all. I was looking because I need some information to talk to a relatively new friend. She is majorly caught up in the punitive circle, and I was hoping that by telling her the story of how I moved away from that mindset, I could open some doors. He was my first exposure to "christian parenting" and so I fell for it. Thankfully I found GCM and Mothering.com before my kids were born. :heart

For sure let her know that he now realizes that his son never believed his parents really approved of him and gave up trying around the age of fourteen. And that when he met unbelievers that accepted him as he was, he was so empty that he desperately wanted to be just like them so that he could receive what his parents did not give. His parents even kicked him out because of his behavior. I would also mention that every single punitive parenting expert has books on how to reach angry children or how to keep them from leaving the faith. All of those things add up to heart breaking. I had a hard time reading that boy's story (that was really glossed over) with dry eyes.

[mommy2abigail]

Yes, definitely. :yes