Boundaries with Kids?

[Elyse221]

Anyone read it/know much about it? I seem to remember it being mentioned on here as not being gentle/positive but beyond that I don't know much. The church we've been visiting is offering a class on it, so I'm wondering about the book mostly to get an idea of what type of parenting would be promoted there. If it's not positive but not outright "You HAVE to spank your kids" then I think I could live with that :think.

[Steph]

Have never heard of it. Boundaries seems to be a word that I like, more than say one like limits or restrictions.


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[Hermana Linda]

I'll see if I can find those old threads...

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---------- Post added at 01:58 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:57 PM ----------

Have never heard of it. Boundaries seems to be a word that I like, more than say one like limits or restrictions.


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Yeah, me too. :think

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---------- Post added at 02:32 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:58 PM ----------

Ok, the book, Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend, got very good GD reviews. Someone did warn that their Boundaries with Kids book is punitive and to have caution with it, but I can't find anymore information. I would be interested to know more. I think it would be worth it for you to check it out and report back to us. :yes

[Maleldil's daughter]

I read it. It's been a while, but this is what I remember:

I was disappointed. I thought it would be about parenting in a way that would encourage kids to maintain their own and respect others' boundaries. Instead it was about how to have boundaries so your children will not run over you.

It had some things that were positive, like most books. It might be most potentially helpful if you were a very unboundaried person who was just learning about how to have boundaries and not be enmeshed in your child's life. There was a lot of discussion of holding a boundary even if the child feels badly, and of letting them own their own feelings.

It was punitive. The authors stated that a spanking or time-out would be a good way to enforce a boundary with young children. I also got a bad taste from some of the examples of forcing your pre-schooler to separate from you even if they don't want to (like leaving your 3 yr old with a babysitter when they are crying for you). So, I wouldn't recommend it, though there's no implication that you must spank.

Sorry there is not much detail, it's been a few years and I don't own it to re-read.

[Hermana Linda]

That is very helpful, thank you. :yes

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[Rose5000]

That is very helpful, thank you. :yes

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Yes, it was.

[On Fire]

I vaguely seem to recall on here reading a few years ago that maybe Cloud and Townsend's books had a misogynistic tone or something??? Have I got that right?

[Kiara.I]

I vaguely seem to recall on here reading a few years ago that maybe Cloud and Townsend's books had a misogynistic tone or something??? Have I got that right?

I did not notice it in Boundaries, nor in Boundaries in Marriage. I wasn't really looking for it, though. :shrug

I haven't read Boundaries with Kids.

Have you read them and found them to be misogynistic?

[purple_kangaroo]

Following . . . I own Boundaries, Boundaries in Marriage, Boundaries with Kids, and Boundaries with Teens. I liked the first one, though it's been years since I read it. Can't remember if I ever read the second one, and I haven't yet read the last two.

[Soliloquy]

There's quite a few authors/books that are really great and then you read the version for parenting ... and you wonder why they can't see it. Why they can't see children as human beings.

The Love Dare is an amazing book. Mind blowing in how it teaches you what it really is to love someone.

The Love Dare for Parents is so anemic, in comparison. And they mention spanking in the appendix. :sigh

[hollybells]

The Love Dare is an amazing book. Mind blowing in how it teaches you what it really is to love someone.


:ot

I've avoided the Fireproof movie but the book is good? :popcorn

[Soliloquy]

Yes. Very. If you actually do it. Just reading it is nice but actually doing the daily steps forces you to come face-to-face with whatever is in you that is resistant to giving unconditional love.

[hollybells]

:tu I've been itching to place another Chapters order ... I'll add it to my list. :grin

And as I was scrolling up, I saw that my post was edited and thought:

1. :hunh Wait, what? I didn't edit my post. Did I edit it? I so don't remember editing it. :giggle Annnnd ...

2. What posting guideline could I have possibly violated? :shifty

Paranoia abounds. :haha

[Soliloquy]

Sorry! I thought of PMing you but I was hoping my note explained everything adequately.

[hollybells]

No worries! :hug

[Tasmanian Saint]

I think I've read here before that BWK is punitive :think

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