Prayers Please!

[willtravelforfood]

Can I ask you ladies for prayer? I know that this will get easier as I practice GBD longer, but right now it's hard. I realized yesterday that I WANT to spank my son sometimes. That it makes me feel better - like I'm actually accomplishing something and I guess that it's a release for my frustrations. It made me feel so ugly and awful to realize it and I hate admitting it, but I could really use the prayers and support. :blush

[MamaRachel]

That was one of the things that cemented for me the decision to not spank; the realization that the only time I thought about spanking was when I was frustrated and upset and pretty much wanted to release that frustration. It was an eye-opening realization for me, too.

:hug Hang in there; you can do this!!!

[tigerlily]

:hug2 It is so hard, isn't it?

Here's one thing that helped me: When I got the urge to strike out at my child, I would take my hand and strike the side of my hand in the other palm. Kind of like karate chopping into the palm of the opposite hand. It gave me a physical release and protected my child. Then I had enough time to stop and think about a better way. :hug2

If that's not an issue for you, that's okay; I just thought it might help.

[Hermana Linda]

How have you been doing this week? :heart

[willtravelforfood]

How have you been doing this week? :heart

In some ways, I have done better and in some ways, worse. I want to instantly change everything, but I think it's going to be a process. I have realized that my results are about the same if I punish or don't. That is encouraging to me! I think I'll be able to break that "need" to spank if I don't feel it has any extra benefit! This process is teaching me patience in ways I've never experienced before...

[Hermana Linda]

Yes, it is a process. :yes sounds like it is going well.

---------- Post added at 11:30 AM ---------- Previous post was at 10:38 AM ----------

I've been thinking that you might find it helpful to saturate your brain with Gentle Parenting. Here are a bunch of Gentle Parenting posts (http://whynottrainachild.com/category/links/gentle-parenting/) I have collected over the years.

[Reva]

edited for privacy

[nutmeg]

:hug it is hard. Keep working on it you will get there

[kiloyd]

I see your oldest is 2, that is when a friend kept telling me to go come to GCM. All I knew was spanking. So glad I finally came here!

Go easy on yourself, take baby steps, it takes time.

[willtravelforfood]

:yes2 It is SO HARD!! :( For many, many years, spanking would be the *first* thing I would think of when my kids misbehaved. :( I didn't act on it (usually!), but the fact that I wanted to made/makes me so sad. When dh and I made it official that we weren't going to spank anymore, it was such a relief to have that option completely off the table.

willtravelforfood (love your name, LOL!) hang in there, it gets better. :) They will eventually grow up and be teens and tweens (where my kids are today). Spanking them at this age doesn't even cross my mind anymore-at all.

We haven't come to that official decision, yet. I do think that will help a ton! I would love to never have the thought cross my mind!

Oh and I WILL travel for food :yes :lol

[kiloyd]

You know, when I am angry at my children I feel like hitting them sometimes too. In the early learning of GBD I did slip and smack them sometimes. Now I step away from them. Or I might even yell, "I feel like hitting you right now!", as I move away.

[Delyrics]

I understand you so well! :hugheart

That's the problem with spanking/hitting. It starts out like a discipline method and it quickly develop into a way of releasing the heat. And I realized it really hardens your heart toward your child, too. :cry

What I found helpful is to think of her like a little baby (http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/showthread.php?t=271358&page=12) and not have too high expectations from her. I also watch her more when she sleeps or play by herself and let my heart be filled with love and tenderness toward her... it's easyer to respond with grace after that.

And of course pray, pray a lot :pray4

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (Ph 4:13) :heart