You can't give what you haven't received

[Emerald Orchid]

This week I was wondering why Ezzo and other similar "biblical" programs are so popular among Christians.

I know that in order to be a gentle, graceful parent, you first have to have received God's grace for yourself.

And then I thought of all the Christians out there that only live by the Bible's "do's and don't's" and never receive God's grace and freedom for themselves.

So it clicked. Many Christians live by the Law, and therefore only know to apply the Law to their children.

Hence the popularity of Ezzo and the like. They've perfected the "do's and don't's" of parenting.

You can't give what you have received.

Thank you Lord for showing us your grace so we can show it to our children and may MANY more parents find grace for themselves and their own children. :pray4

[Kiara.I]

:amen

[rjy9343]

You are so right. AOL has a quote in her signature that says I need your grace to help me find my own. Until I saw that, I had no idea I needed grace so that I could give it. :doh It is so simple and yet so hard to grasp.

[Stiina]

:heart

[MaryPoppinsIAin't]

*nodnod* I suspect it's also popular because Law-driven systems, with their emphasis on immediate, cheerful obedience, produce families that LOOK good on the outside. Children who say yes ma'am and no sir and how high would you like me to jump, and parents who can get instant angelic behavior with nothing more than a pointed look, a smile and a code word.

In other words, they produce families that look, from the outside, like the perfect ideal. The results everyone thinks they want, all tucked up in one tidy little book. It lets people feel like they're "doing something"... even when the something creates more problems than it solves.

[charla]

:amen

[allisonintx]

That's the paradigm shifter.

I was a GBD practicing person, or more accurately, a non-spanker who could talk the non-punitive talk, for a long time before I realized that it was so much more.

A friends daughter lied to me, and I was so angry, and I wanted retribution from her, for myself, and for the other kids involved. I came looking for "what's the consequence for this?" And I was told, the consequence is broken trust, not a punishment I can inflict or a privilege I can remove. The privilege is trust. The breaking of it is why we need grace.

:idea broken trust requires grace to heal.

That was my Ah-hah moment....as the scales fell from my eyes and I really saw Grace.

I had been at GCM for five years at that point.

[BarefootBetsy]

So very, very true :heart