Just something that's been on my mind . . .

[Whirlwind]

Something's been on my mind lately, and I'm wondering if I can articulate it in a way that will make sense to anyone else. Here goes . . .

It seems like a lot of the controversy and arguing among different Christian parenting experts is based around the notion that we should treat our children the way God treats us. And then people go on to argue about whether or not God is punitive or permissive or gentle or whatever with his people. (For the record, I think God has been incredibly gentle and full of grace in his dealings with me.)

Lately, I can't help but wonder if the whole argument isn't fundamentally flawed though. I'm not God. I can't see all ends the way he does. He is all-knowing and can judge a person's heart. I'm certainly not all-knowing and I'm told not to judge others. And is it really a healthy relationship paradigm for parents to draw constant parallels between themselves and God? It seems a bit arrogant to me.

I mean, I absolutely want to be Christ-like. I'm not denying that we should follow the Biblical examples of how we should treat each other. It's just . . .

I guess I just want to say that, just because God is a parent to me does not make me God to my children.

Does that make sense to anyone? Does anyone else have feelings about this?

[MaybeGracie]

That definitely makes sense. :yes At the same time, however, a child's initial view of God is often formed based on their parents' treatment of the child. Harsh and punitive parents project a view of God that is equally unyielding and harsh, while parents who project grace and gentle guidance shape a different picture of God in their child's mind. To that end, although I do not see myself as being God to my children, I still desire to treat my children based on my view of God in order to shape their view of God accordingly.

[ruhama]

I think how God treats us (so insanely full of grace that we cannot even comprehend his patience and love for us) sets a standard for how we treat other image-bearers of God. Basically - God has never punished me therefore I have no authority to punish another person (impose boundaries that protect and respect myself and my family - YES - but these are not intended to inflict pain or shame :no).

We do teach them LESSONS about God's nature through our treatment of them: I am big enough for you to be angry with, big enough for you to try and hit me, big enough to hear all your hurt and sorrow, big enough to love you because you are always lovable.

We teach patience when we are patient; we teach self-control when we control ourselves; we teach grace when we are graceful. When we fail, we teach that they are worthy of apologies, worthy of amends and worthy of forgiveness when they fail. We teach worth and strength by respecting others and loving ourselves.

Out of strength flows kindness and patience and self-control. Those who are truly strong are gentle.

[NewCovenantMama]

just because God is a parent to me does not make me God to my children.


:rockon

[tigerlily]

I do think it's important to remember that I am a fellow traveler on life's journey with my children. I'm called to come beside them, guide them, help them.

:idea

Maybe instead of parenting just as God the Father, we should be looking more at God's triune nature. We have authority over are children as fathers and mothers (God the father), We are called to be servants to our children and their teachers (God the son), and we are called to come beside them, guide them, and walk the path with them (God the Holy Spirit).

Again, I love the reminder that you give that we are not God to our children.:no But I do think it's a precarious balance to wield our authority in a godly way as we humble ourselves before them, too.

[ArmsOfLove]

We are not God to our children . . . but God isn't "Father" to us so much as God has chosen "Father" (and "Mother") to be ways by which we can understand God. We relate to God in these familial ways--as well as Bridegroom, Potter, and other analogies we have been given in Scripture :amen). So the way we treat our children as their mother or father will impact their ability to relate to God. That's a weighty burden and not one I take lightly :heart