Is there a difference between "dramatic" and "sensitive"?

[staceylayne]

My sweet daughter has big, BIG reactions to things. She's three...so age is certainly some of it. But some of it is just her. Since she was tiny DH and I have joked that she "lives life at full volume". She's just really, really enthusiastic (and loud) about pretty much everything...good or bad. So the same shriek that could mean her arm has been chopped off is also used just before she exclaims, "Mommy! *You* are wearing shoes! And *I* am wearing shoes! We both wear shoes! We match!!" :cheer

We laugh, and also sometimes roll our eyes a bit, at her huge swings of emotion. Out front the other day I was chatting with a neighbor when she flung herself at my feet, moaning and wailing about her injured finger when, before I could offer sympathy, she stopped mid-wail, pointed at the sky and said brightly, "hey look!" :woohoo "I see the moon!". Neighbor and I were both :hunh Her passion is precious, and such a huge part of the girl I love, but it can be exhausting at times.

I know that a lot of sensitive people have had their feelings overlooked, dismissed or even belittled and mocked by others claiming they are being overly dramatic. I do *not* want to do this to my daughter. I'm curious if every instance of what we might perceive as "dramatic" reactions are due to really big feelings...or if some kids (or people) really just have big reactions even when their *feelings* aren't particularly huge. :shrug I definitely try to reflect and validate her feelings (when I can figure out if her shriek is from excitement or despair before she's moved on to another feeling). I do not want to dampen her spirit, however, I wonder if it's okay to suggest she tone it down sometimes.

I know some people have very reserved reactions despite big, big emotions inside. Is the opposite possible? :think I feel like I'm talking in circles here, so I'll stop my rambling. Anyone have thoughts, experience (as mother to a big reactor or as a sensitive/"dramatic" child) or insight?

[wallflowermama]

I can kind of relate...but I have no advice :popcorn

[PDX Mommy]

Yeah, I can relate, too, but also no advice. :cup

[RainbowMummy]

Is there a difference between "dramatic" and "sensitive"?
Yeah, I think so. My DD1 can be sensitive but DD2 is more sensitive & DD1 is waaaay more dramatic.
DD1, we think, is more dramatic because she LIVES in the moment, the very, very right now. What you daughter did over the sore finger & moon, my 6 year old does a lot. She's been drawing on our walls lately so we make her clean it off. While she is cleaning the walls she is 'going through the MOST horrible, boring, traumatic moment of her entiiiire life. Cleaning will take FOREVER! NOBODY listens to her, we are making her feel like NOBODY loves her, she will never survive!'....& then the wall is clean.... instant skipping, energy, laughter, buddy buddy with all of us, trauma of just a few seconds ago completely forgotten. She lives so much 'in the moment' that she draws on the wall again & again & again because whatever she is doing or experiencing is the best or worst moment of her entire life.

The book Raising Your Spirited Child gave us ideas on working gently with her if you are looking for something like that.

---------- Post added at 05:34 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:02 PM ----------

One thing that popped into my head & your DD may be a bit young but I read once about teaching children that feelings change. We might feel really, really sad but that can change. I guess it offers hope & suggests action ie we can do something to fix this or to help ourselves cope with this
& for older children it encourages them not to make decisions based on how they 'feel'. ie if you're angry you might hit, if you're sad about something you might give up on it, if you're frustrated with friends you might say something you'll later regret

[WildFlower]

I like the book Raising your Spirited Child.
I also like Your Highly Sensitive Child.

I think dramatic and sensitive are two different things. A child could be both, but dramatic doesn't have to be sensitive and sensitive is not always dramatic. DD is sensitive. She cries if people look at her wrong. She knows when furniture or things are out of place, even at 6 months old.
She notices EVERY.LITTLE.THING, like the tiniest little bug and gets excited about it. Or the smallest speck of dirt on her hands, bothers her. She's also dramatic at times, but not always. She has BIG feelings when she's upset and is loud about it. She has big excited reactions to things that make her happy too! But I have seen some children who are dramatic that just like the attention or it's their age and they don't really seem sensitive.

Does this make sense?

[staceylayne]

Wildflower, absolutely makes sense. :yes And you are so much more clear and succinct than I!

I suspect my daughter is more dramatic than sensitive. She's probably on the sensitive side...but I don't think it always correlates exactly. I'll probably not *really* know until she's older, has some perspective and can articulate her experiences a bit better. :shrug

[Dulci]

Another good book is Strong-Willed Child or Dreamer -- especially if your sensitive strong-willed kid is also an internal perfectionist (won't try if she doesn't think she'll automatically succeed) and cares about your approval but doesn't adjust her behavior in order to keep your approval.

I am (and was) one of those -- I've described it as willful, intense, and sensitive, and it is quite a combination -- difficult for the kid as well as for those around.