Do you settle for less than excellent?

[WanderingJuniper]

What level of effort is acceptable to you regarding your children's activities, schooling, lessons etc?

Example your child is learning an instrument. It was not forced on them they chose this of their own mind. What level of commitment and effort do you expect?

Or

Athletics. Your child expresses interest in a certain athletic activities. You sign them up for a team or lessons.

What peel of effort do you expect?
How do you deal with attempts at quiting?
What about slacking off?

[Domina]

:cup

I don't know yet what I would do, but my mother always told us life was too short for hobbies that made us miserable. She encouraged us to follow our passions. For me that was art and literature (I was never going to be good at sports), for my brother that was sports and music. We chose the activities and the level of commitment. Sometimes we switched around till we found a good fit.

For schoolwork, though, our parents expected enough effort to keep us on the honor roll while still having an outside life - time we could spend alone or with friends, as we chose.

[MomtoJGJ]

I expect them to try. I don't allow goofing off past a certain extent (ie when the coach or whatever has told them to cut it out) having fun is one thing, being silly is completely another. We've never had something last to the point of quitting, if that makes sense. We haven't started music lessons or anything like that that is long term. It would probably depend on how we were paying for it. If we had paid for a year then the child would have to participate for a year, if by the month, each month, etc.

As far as schoolwork, since we homeschool it totally is based on moods/health/weather. I expect just a little more than they are capable of giving each day. That way I'm pretty well assured that they will give me the best they can give.

[Little Forest]

I think there is time for getting serious about lessons or sports in the teenage years which I am not into yet. I have read that pushing children too young in the organised things can burn them out of them before those kinds of activities are beneficial to their development.

So, my plan is to give something a fair go if they decide they want to try it. It is ok to not like something or change your mind, but once they decide to do something, I would like to finish out a term before making a decision to quit.

With schoolwork, ours are not graded in the primary years. :no It is really nice that they learn for the sake of learning. When in HS, I would love to have brilliant straight A students, but I will hope that they give it their best shot and I am more interested in having good balance to their life.

[Auroras mom]

I think my answer is dependent upon the age of the child.

[WanderingJuniper]

I'm specifically dealing with a tween and another who will be 8 very soon.
We have pushed nothing on them. It has all been child initiated. I'm less curious about quitting and more curious about expectations during the commitment.

Is it okay with you I they just show up but don't put out the effort you know they can? Do you an if they practice correctly or are you just glad they are practicing?

I'm really trying to get some perspective. I have high expectations for myself. I don't want to burn my kids out but I also see their natural talents expressed throughout their own interests to the level of success I know they are capable.

[WanderingJuniper]

:bump
:shifty

[MomtoJGJ]

We are not ok with no effort. We are also not ok with not listening to the teacher/coach. They must do their best. They have to be open to being taught and corrected. There's no point in taking something if they aren't going to be open to teaching and doing their best.

Like I said before, their best may vary day to day. If it's been a lazy day at home, then I always assume they'll be lazy at what they are doing. If it's been an insane day at home, then I assume they'll be corrected several times.

I also let the coach handle a lot of things. Because generally I require a much "tighter" ship than coaches tend to :shifty

As far as practicing outside of their lesson time, I think it depends on the child somewhat, and how long the commitment is otherwise. We just got done with basketball. They had one practic and one game per week. We required them to go outside and play basketball at least once between practice (monday night) and game (Saturday morning) No drills unless they wanted to, just play basketball. If it were more than an 8 week season, then we would have made them play once and practice drills once.

[ArmsOfLove]

we don't pursue "maybe" interests with any serious outlay of money. If they want to pay for it themselves then they can save up and do so. Otherwise we try to find free outlets or they can research it. Maybe it'll be a birthday/holiday gift--for instance, my children have wanted to learn the drums so for ds's birthday we found an electric drum pad very reasonably priced and he loves it.

If they love it and express serious commitment and SHOW that commitment then we will prayerfully consider the outlay of money. If they stop showing that commitment we stop paying for it.

As for what I *accept*, it's not anything I can control so I don't even think of it that way. I encourage them to do their best. If they are doing their best, even if they aren't necessarily succeeding to the level they want, I would consider it worth continuing to fund (assuming we had the resources).