I'm oblivious to my toddlers cries

[justbreathe]

A while back, there was a thread on here where a mama was talking about being in the church nursery and another mom was their with their crying baby. The other mom seemed to not notice or respond to her baby's cries and the GCM was very disturbed by this. Someone in the thread pointed out that it's possible that the baby was colicky and the mom was "ignoring" the crying as a coping mechanism. For some reason that thread keeps popping in my head lately.

My toddler just cries so much. HOURS a day. If I hold him constantly (he's 30+ lbs and I'm not strong enough to wear him without pain for long), nurse him about every hour, and give him nonstop one-on-one attention, I can get the daytime crying down to around an hour a day - nighttime is a whole other can of crazy. :-/

I know that certain foods make it much worse (caffeine!) but I can't figure out if there is anything he or I am eating that's causing this. He has an amber necklace he wears all the time. He stopped taking a pacifier when he was 13 months old. He isn't very verbal so I think that makes it worse. It's much worse when I'm around than when he is with other people and he's been that way since a tiny infant.

I've noticed lately, when DH has been around or we've been in public, that I'm tuning out his cries. When we're at home, it just kind of becomes background noise. :blush Sometimes I have to cook meals, or read to the bigs, or do school with DS1, or do chores, or . . .whatever and I just *can't* deal with the crying. So, I just tune it out. When DH is here, it drives him nuts and I notice it more. It's really taking a toll on our family. Aren't "colicky" babies supposed to just "grow out of it"? :shifty

I feel like such a flop as an "AP" mom just ignoring my baby's cries but I genuinely don't know what else to do.

[ArmsOfLove]

have you considered the possibility that he is on the autism spectrum?

and have you done a food elimination diet to try and track down offending foods? Or just tried to look for a pattern?

:hug

I had so many looks when I would calmly respond to my HYSTERICAL toddler on the playground. But EVERYTHING was a 10 :doh If it was an 11 then I knew to run ;)

I really do understand.

[justbreathe]

I don't think he is on the spectrum. We're pretty sure that ODS is and as a toddler it was *obvious* to us that something was going on. Bug seems to be a bit slow with his expressive language but his receptive language is great! He doesn't have any problems playing with his toys and other kids, is very interactive with other people, and doesn't display any stimming behaviors. He is VERY sensory seeking, though, and his crying/screaming does tend to get worse when he isn't getting a lot of physical stimulation. When DH is home, the two of them wrestle and play roughly and Bug absolutely loves it! But DH has been working out of town a lot lately and hasn't been here much.

When it gets closer to summer, and there is lots of fresh produce available, I'm hoping to do either an elimination diet or rotation diet. RIght now most of his "safe foods" are either not available or just gross. I've tried keeping a food journal before but got really overwhelmed b/c I was trying to do it for all of the kids plus me. I'm definitely going to try it again though.

Man, we're having a really rough day today! He is just crying and screaming over everything and is almost unconsollable!

[ArmsOfLove]

when that happens can you talk to him about how to better express himself? Give him scripts; redirect him to drawings, songs, dances to express his emotions? Can you find things that are not-overstimulating or upsetting for him?

[Dovenoir]

:cup