Sleepovers for AP kiddos

[tofufoofoo]

Does anyone here have LO's who love sleepovers? :hiding

DD1 loves sleeping over her Grammie's (MIL) house. She has never stayed anywhere else alone before- just Grammie and Pop Pops. My DH has two younger sisters (14 & 24) and the youngest one is like my DD1's BFF. She sleeps in her bed also with their dog. I've been there right up until she goes to bed and she has a very solid routine there :giggle My biggest complaint is always the crappy food they feed her (candy, juice, sweets, boxed stuff- although they give her their version of "the best", such as taking her out to eat and I'm so grateful they never ask for a penny).

The first time DD1 slept over she was 22 months and she asked to stay, but I don't think she fully understood. She had a great time and didn't want to leave. She BEGS me to stay there. I've always felt like a lesser AP mom for this unique (it seems) trait in our family when I talk to other mamas IRL. Some do remind me how blessed we are to have such willing g'parents. They are always asking to have her over.

My main hang-up over it was obviously missing her so badly. :heart I'm sick tonight and she begged me to sleepover there. Also, my relationship with MIL is crappy but that's my own thing. She undermines my parenting and sometimes I overestimate her control over the situation. I don't want to hurt DD (who I think mainly hangs out with her BFF my 14 year old SIL)

Sorry for rambling on. I guess my question is... is this really as rare in AP families as I think it is?

[Tandem mama]

My oldest loves to have sleepovers at my parents. She started at 26 months old per her own request and she asks frequently. I trust their care of her, even though much of it is different than mine. They respect our diet and discipline. My dad doesn't yell at her or shame her like he did his own kids.

IMO if your child is asking and you feel safe with the people you're choosing to allow a sleepover with, it fits into AP just fine. AP has to do with knowing your child and meeting their needs. If one of their needs is the independence of doing some things without you, then it fits in with ap perfectly. AP isn't about never letting your child experience things without you. :no its about relationship. :yes

[MercyInDisguise]

If the child is okay with it and securely attached to the person they'll be staying with, I see absolutely no problem with it. C still nurses (a lot) at night, but I can see him spending the night with MIL after he is. He LOVES their house and DH's 1ittle sister who is 17. MIL is able to get him to sleep, and I am confident they would call me if there was a problem. (We only live 15 min away.)
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[Psyche]

Jon and Caden love sleep overs at the grandparents. Both started going around 2.5 years. I love when they go on sleep overs too.

[aleigh]

Both of my kids love to sleepover with grandma & grandpa. (My parents & my in-laws.) Yes, they get lots of junk, but they also know that mama doesn't have an endless fountain of chocolate milk & unlimited television. As long as they put them to bed at a reasonable hour, I think it's awesome. They have a blast & my DH and I get to stay out as late as we want & sleep in.

[ValiantJoy07]

Dd1 looooves to stay over @ my moms. I send food for both girls...we're gf df (except raw milk) and dd2 (dd1 to a much smaller extent) cannot process those things and gets extremely constipated and grassy ..we've had ER visits because of ghd issues, so my Mom us fairly respectful...she would also b the one up all night holding a toddler crying thru a horrible belly ache- she wouldn't want to inflict that pain on dds :no

I think its wonderful your dd has extended family she feels safe with and enjoys ...i think personality, not "how attached" achild is. :heart

[Niphredil]

Okay, so apparently I need to get my kids started on sleep overs with the grand parents. :shifty

[Domina]

I'm not sure we really qualify as AP. DH and I try to parent very responsively - we babywear when Sumo needs the closeness, we use the stroller when he doesn't. He sleeps with us when he's sick, in his crib when he's well, etc. We try to stay very flexible and make meeting his needs a higher priority than parenting by a certain method. That often means we're not crunchy enough for some people, too crunchy for most. :giggle DH does things differently than I do, even.

That said, Sumo occasionally spends the night with my parents or in-laws. Maybe once every three months or so.

Both sets of grandparents are extremely responsive - they would never let him CIO. They have his bed set up in their bedrooms, respond immediately if he needs something, etc. He's strongly attached to both grandmothers and has never seemed slightly alarmed, worried, stressed, etc. at their houses, so it works well for everyone.

I wouldn't do it if he were going through a very close/needy phase with us, were sick or otherwise seemed like he wouldn't enjoy it. But when all is well and the grandparents are begging for an overnight stay, we do it. DH and I enjoy the sleep. :wink Plus it's funny when Sumo blows us kisses and says "Bye bye!" when we're not even ready to leave. Er, thanks, kid.

I always send his food with him. I know they slip in other things, but that's part of being a grandparent. :shrug A little junk doesn't bother me.

[amyjoy]

DD loves to sleepover with her grandmother and also with her best friend, (who's mother is my best friend and like a second mom to her). I think it demonstrates that she is secure in her attachment to me, which gives her confidence to be comfortable bonding with other consistent and loving people in her life. I don't mind a little junk, either, but she also doesn't have allergies.

[Barefoot Bookworm]

I'd love to send my kids on sleepovers to their grandparents' houses. Sadly, it doesn't happen. They have had grandparents stay over here when I was in the hospital and once when I went on a date with my husband that was out of town but other than that? Nope.

[Eowyn]

My parents are very close to my children, and the kids love going over to spend the night at their house. They're securely attached to us and securely attached to them to the extent that being with them instead of us for a night is a delight to them and not a stressor. :heart

[tofufoofoo]

Knowing DD1 had self-night weaned/STTN made the decision to initially try a sleepover easier. She too does the "bye Mommy" waaay before we are even ready to leave!!

This is just her social personality and always has been. Now DD2, I feel won't be ready for sleepovers for a LONG time. We shall see...

DH needs date nights, and that's part of the "balance" aspect of AP we practice. Hopefully DD2 will become more comfortable with that soon. She really hates when we leave her but it's only for 2-3 hours maybe monthly. It's the ONLY time she and I are apart. We also spend time at MIL's together as a family to let her know it's a safe place. (she hasn't caught onto this yet though :shifty)
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[WingsOfTheMorning]

Lydia started spending the night with my parents around 3. She's very close to my mom, but I was still surprised. I mean this was the girl who for a looking time would only go to sleep with me, wouldn't leave my side out of the house (unless we were at a safe place like Grandma's), refused Daddy's comfort during the night , etc.

Like the others said, AP is about knowing and responding to your child. So I did t push Lydia away when she wanted me, and I let her try out her independence when she was ready.

[blondie]

My parents and my inlaws are constantly begging for sleepovers, but I'm too attached to let her go stay with them. I'm sure they think I'm cruel and controlling, but I just want my kiddos at home with me! I don't know if she would do very well at either place. We have a pretty relaxing, and long bedtime routine that she loves.