Kids with glasses and their self esteem. Help!

[Barefoot Bookworm]

My 4 year old daughter just got glasses. She was super excited about them at first and then she told me a couple mornings after that she didn't feel beautiful in them then pointed out that I wasn't wearing mine. So I took out my contacts and put on my glasses then we talked about how beautiful comes in all different styles and shapes. She seemed all right then another few days passed and she was sad that she didn't feel beautiful in her glasses so we had another talk about how many people in our family wore glasses and if we thought they were beautiful and handsome and that really beauty comes from being a good, kind person.

Fast forward to this morning, my husband was getting the older kids around while I nursed the baby and he forgot to grab her glasses. When I came downstairs I noticed she didn't have them on so my husband grabbed them for her. She sat down and cried her heart out saying that she was upset because she was cute without her glasses and Daddy ruined her cute face by putting her glasses on.

I have NO idea where she's getting the idea that glasses = not attractive because DH and I both wear them (I do wear contacts when we're out and about because they're easier for me to drive in but I wear my glasses at home and for a solid month, it was glasses only because I ran out of contacts). Almost all of her grandparents wear them, the majority of her uncles do, etc. No one in our family would say anything negative about them, no one has said anything but she looks gorgeous in them in front of me. I'm wondering if she might have heard something unkind at church that the teachers didn't inform me about.

Has anyone else been here? How do I help her realize that she is still Athena and just as beautiful as ever in her glasses?

[J3K]

My mother told me (I got my glasses at 4 too) that the most beautiful part about my face were my eyes. Framing the eyes so they stand out , pop out , makes it that much prettier.

(I had green octagon frames :giggle )

edit:
She also let me start wearing lip gloss. Just a touch in the morning. She'd tell me to smack my lips during the day to "refresh it". It took me years to figure out to refresh lip gloss you must reapply. :giggle But it worked.

[Barefoot Bookworm]

She chose purple cateyes on her own. Purple on top that fades clear on the underside. She was soooo excited about them that I didn't expect this! Her eyes really are her best feature so I'll try that and the lipgloss.

[Barefoot Bookworm]

No other advice? I know she can't be the only little one having a hard time with glasses. ;)

[Mother of Sons]

Is there anyone she likes or admires? Maybe you could ask them to component her in her glasses. Not just "I like your glasses" but "you look really pretty in your glasses"

[cheri]

Does she ever see other kids who wear glasses?

My dd1 has been wearing them since she was 3. In her case, it really helped that she knew two different girls around her age who also wore glasses. And whenever we'd see another little girl with glasses, I'd say something like, "oh, her glasses are so pretty" or something like that.

Now she's 6 and it's really a non-issue. I really worried about her going to kindergarten and what other kids might say. And she is the only one in her class with glasses, but as far as I know, she only occasionally has been asked why she wears glasses. Her answer is always a sort of smarty pants "duh! So I can see better!" And I'm ok with that. She's confident.

[BHope]

Right after DD1 got glasses we got her the Fancy Nancy and the Spectacular Spectacles book. There are a couple other cute books about glasses that are geared towards that age group. You might consider something like that.

[Barefoot Bookworm]

Mother Of Sons, the funny thing is everyone who sees her in her glasses for the first time has exclaimed, "OH! You look so beautiful in your new glasses!" Then they tell her how the compliment her eyes, how they are a great choice and she did a good job picking them out, etc. I really didn't think we'd have this issue because everyone has been so supportive and she was super excited about them because both DH and I wear them. She just about broke my heart this morning though sitting there sobbing that her dad took her cute face away by putting on her glasses. :bheart

Cheri, I can think of two kids that we know who wear glasses but most of the people she knows who wear glasses are older.

Manda, the book idea is brilliant. I'm going to see if I can find that at the library and other books where the heroine wears glasses.

[MerryTex]

I've always been sensitive about my looks and sensitive about the language people use with me, especially my parents. I know that even as a kid I felt uncomfortable getting compliments from my parents about my appearance or my clothes -- even when it was well-meaning it felt like pressure to be cute. Anyway, your DD might be way better adjusted at 4 than I am! :giggle But I thought I'd mention the possibility that even all the compliments about looking so beautiful in the glasses could be stressing her out, or alerting her to the looks angle that she might not think of otherwise. I know I much prefer it even now when my mom just doesn't mention clothes or appearances in front of me, even to compliment. We have so many more important and fun and uplifting things to talk about with each other! So you could also consider trying to drop the topic of looks, appearances, clothes, etc in all conversation about anyone (not just your daughter) for a while and let the books get the message across for you.