talk to me about kids with anxiety

[passionatemom]

I'm not sure of the best place to post this, so I'm just putting it here.

I'm exploring the idea that my 4yo has trouble with anxiety, and just how serious it is. I need to think on it more and figure out if that is really the root emotion that is giving him trouble, but at the moment I'm pretty sure.

I don't think it's anything we will need professional help with - but I don't want to disregard that too easily either.

Recently my concern about it is heightened b/c he occasionally has asthma-like symptoms that seem to be triggered by anxiety. The reason I'm being cautious in "diagnosing" him is that the situations that upset him most and sometimes lead to wheezing are ones that could cause a number of emotions, and in other kids they would cause anger, resentment, whatever else. But what I read in my kid is fear.

Several times I have posted on GCM about behavior stuff and I have been told that I'm trying too hard to avoid making him "mad." Every time I have read that and thought "Why do they think he's mad? I thought he was frightened?" So I'm finally affirming for myself that my observations are correct and he does really get frightened.

Also, his "tantrums" (at the ages when he had them) always seemed more like emotional meltdowns to me than anything he had any control over, but I thought that was more of an AP view vs. mainstream, rather than my kid being different.

First, can someone recommend a book please??? That's how I learn.

Also, talk to me about your kid with anxiety, what are the signs?

What should I do to further Mommy-diagnose it?

How do I know if we need a professional diagnosis?

[Damselfly]

Bumping for you.

[rjy9343]

My daughter was dx with a processing disorder and among other things anxiety is one of the things she has. I sought treatment because by one it seemed that her quality of life was being negatively impacted by her issues. I don't know how you would go about mommy diagnosing it, but if it looks like he is having a harder time than his peers dealing with situations then I would start looking for help.

[passionatemom]

I have looked through the checklists etc for sensory processing disorder before, and he has some of those things, but not a lot, and not too intense. I'm thinking more like just highly sensitive, combined with highly spirited (combined with a highly sensitive and spirited Mommy :shifty). Right now I'm reading the Highly Sensitive Child book and will reassess my thoughts on his anxiety after assimilating that information and implementing tips.

I guess he has a harder time than his peers with certain things, but to me, having grown up as a sensitive and spirited person myself, it doesn't look like something beyond the normal range. But every now and then when he has a really hard day, I think well, maybe . . .

All in all, our family has been through a lot of stuff in the last couple of years, too.

Right now he's not in preschool or anything, and we plan to homeschool, so I kind of feel like since he's with me all the time, as long as I can adjust our lives a bit to help him, we're doing okay. And if it gets beyond what I can handle, or the "adjustments" I need to make for him seem too extreme, I'll look into professional help. Right now what I mean by "adjustments" is pretty much the kind of stuff discussed in Raising Your Spirited Child. Setting your family up for success, rather than just living your life the way you want and expecting your kid to handle it okay. (Which is a big part of AP anyway, from my view.)

Still hoping for a book recommendation on anxiety though, I hate going to Amazon cold . . .