Does anyone else feel "done" having babies?

[live~laugh~love]

Sorry if this is the wrong place for this discussion. After we had our first dd, I *really* wanted more children. Dh didn't, so after about three years and a lot of prayer and discussion, I was finally content with not having more children.

We ended up moving to a new house, in a different part of the state for my dh's new job and guess what? I got pregnant with-in three months:giggle. Honestly, I wasn't thrilled at first, but by the end, I was very excited;).

Now, that baby is 7 months old and I'm really feeling done. After she was first born, dh and I were really feeling like we could have more, but lately, I feel very at peace about having no more.

With feeling "done" I guess I feel guilty too. Why? Because maybe I should be more open to the children that God would give me:shrug3. My dh is definetly (sp?) done. He's 45 yrs old and just not open to more at.all.

So, are you "done"? Do you have hard feelings about it? I guess that I want to just feel content with it with out guilty feelings about letting God down.

Ack...I feel like I just opened up a can of worms here. I should not feel guilty, should I?
:heart

[LadybugSam]

We went through 4 years of secondary infertility to have baby #2. I never thought i'd even consider birth control ever again.

I loved being pregnant again, even when i was having horrible complications and i was on bedrest for nearly a month in the hospital away from my family, i loved being pregnant, even if i was worried about my health and the baby's health.

When he was born so sick and tiny, after i did aboslutely everything in my power to help him, Hubby was adament that we wouldn't have any more babies. My first thought was "i bet i could change his mind" :shifty but as time went on, and toby's health got better, i felt more and more that everybody who was supposed to be here, was already here and that i was happy with the children I already had. I was like 90% DONE. We didn't do anything permanent because i didn't want to base my decision based on fear of the next pregnancy, but because of my infertility we didn't expect to HAVE to make a decision IRT birth control until after the baby weaned.

And then we got pregnant again unexpectedly. And i was shocked, despite knowing where babies come from :giggle It took me a long time to accept this pregnancy. But i love this baby so much, and I feel so blessed, I never thought I'd be able to have 3 babies of my own :happytears I also know that i am 100% absolutely done after this baby. I never thought i'd feel this way, after all those years of painful infertility, but I do. We've both been in prayer over this separately and we feel a strong supernatural peace with this decision. We know that this is the right decision for our family

[MomtoJGJ]

ah you are describing me to a T right now! :) I feel exactly the way you feel, even down to the guilt.

I'm starting to think I might be more stubborn than guilty. I decided years ago that I wasn't really sure what God thought of bc... and so now I think it's that stubborn-ness that's causing me to question whether I"m done. I think it's ME and not God or even DH.... but I'm just not sure.

[mamacat]

IME you are feeling content with how things are right now but that could really change in the future. When you have a 7 month old is not a good time to try and make any permanent decisions have known waaay too many couples who were so sure and later regretted doing something more permanent

[treehugginmama]

I always wanted a big family and 6 was the number that seemed right to me. Baby #5 came, 2 weeks later DH lost a lot of hours and a lot of money at work, it really affected his mood. I didn't think we would make it. At that time I don't know if I naturally felt ok with being done or if I convinced myself that I needed to be ok with it. Fast fwd. to now. DH and I have been in therapy and I have an incredible urge to have #6. I feel like everything is going to be ok. I haven't felt like that in some time. I also have no feeling of having a baby right now, just that I know there is someone coming to us eventually. I also know that six is it. I have not desire for anything after that. My friend said she just wishes God would take the want of more children from her. (She has 7) I assured her He will when He's ready. :)

[NovelMama]

Feeling content with what you have could very well be God. :shrug I am definitely done, as is DH, and we "only" have two. DH got a V so our only options for future kids would be adoption, which I am completely open to. I feel no guilt about it at all. It was a decision made with a lot of prayer, and I am not of the belief that taking that step was showing a lack of faith. If God has said, "You *are* done with bio babies, but I don't want you to use protection," *then* we would have showed a lack of faith by getting the V.

BUT, that being said, I do think it wise not to make decisions of a permanent nature until your youngest is at least 2. Just my opinion, though. :)

[Two Little Birds]

Feeling content with what you have could very well be God. :shrug I am definitely done, as is DH, and we "only" have two. DH got a V so our only options for future kids would be adoption, which I am completely open to. I feel no guilt about it at all. It was a decision made with a lot of prayer, and I am not of the belief that taking that step was showing a lack of faith. If God has said, "You *are* done with bio babies, but I don't want you to use protection," *then* we would have showed a lack of faith by getting the V.

BUT, that being said, I do think it wise not to make decisions of a permanent nature until your youngest is at least 2. Just my opinion, though. :)

:up This.

[Emerald Orchid]

When I got pregnant with baby #3, I knew I was never doing the pregnancy thing again and so did DH. We will wait until I give birth and then he will get a V. We will adopt 1-2 children once our youngest is a year old, adoption has always been in our plans.

The "done" feeling kind of took me by surprise, but I really know it's right. DH is totally onboard!

[Can'tTurnLeft]

We had ten years of primary infertility during which time we adopted two kids. We knew after our second that we were DONE adopting, though I sometimes felt guilty about all the kids out there in foster care that we could adopt. But we weren't called to foster care.

Then I got pregnant and had big visions of three more kids :shifty. But my pregnancy went badly and ended with an emergency csection and a tiny little baby who has weak lungs today. I know we are done. And yes, I sometimes feel "guilty" like I'm not being open to God or something. But I figure God can overcome a vasectomy if he wants to.

[Aisling]

After this one, I *AM* done. I had come to terms with it about the time I became pregnant, actually. :doh :giggle I've over it. Our home is full, at this point. I have zero regrets about it; this is what I'm called to and we're good. :heart All is snipped and clipped, and I've got no regrets. :no

[6boysmom]

Yes, I'm done too! Not in the way I expected though. After my first son was born 13 years ago, I suffered 2 miscarriages right in a row. It was difficult but my husband and I felt that we should pursue adoption. When my son was 3 we adopted a 4 year old boy who was profoundly impaired. We felt complete, but got a surprise pregnancy a year later.:D When that baby was a year we felt God wanted us to adopt one more severely impaired child. We met our 4th son at a school for severely impaired kids and we got him as a foster child. After we fostered him for 2 months we ended up with his 2 younger brothers. Hence our 6 boys and we are ever so complete!

I was just at the Ob/gyn this morning hoping to get some things taken care of if ya know what I mean. The nurse comes bursting into my room and announces, "Well you are not pregnant!". The first thing that flies out of my mouth is, "Lord have mercy on me!!" I told her she scared me when she came in like that- I told her my children are huge blessings, but we are done. :giggle

[Castle On A Cloud]

I don't feel done right now. I feel content with our family size - at *this* current time. I hope we have more kids - I have always wanted more than 4 kids... I think for each person it is different... I think that when we are ready to be done, we will know it:shrug3 And I really don't think I would make a permanent decision until we both felt done for a while (and I am still kinda scared of it then - don't know what we will do:nails)

[tigerlily]

I'm in the "only 2" ;) camp and quite satisfied with my little family.

I kinda thought I would be open to having 3 or 4, but I really like my family the way it is and I have no feelings of guilt if this is it.

That said, dh does Not want to do anything permanent. And I'm okay with that, too. :shrug We're fully content with our current situation and will be fully accepting of any change of plans the Lord might have for us. We are also content to use less permanent non-hormonal forms of bc consistently.:yes

[Codi]

Having JUST given birth 10 days ago to #3, I IMMEDIATELY though.......NO WAY! No more. Nuh uh.

And while my brain tells me he completes our family....my heart is so sad at the though of never holding another tiny baby of my own.

I think dh would say we are for sure done though.

[Eowyn]

We're done. Biologically, anyway, but yeah, done. I knew it the instant I saw the second line. I feel complete and total peace about it. :heart

[Jenny]

We're done, with a V scheduled next month, and I feel totally at peace with it. I was "done" after #1 and #2 :giggle:O but those times I didn't feel at peace with making a final decision. Now, I do. :yes

[Castle On A Cloud]

I have heard so many stories recently about people wanting to reverse whatever permanent bc they have employed... I wonder what portion of these people felt pressured to make the decision vs. feeling complete peace over it??? Are there any studies or facts about that???

[Can'tTurnLeft]

I have heard so many stories recently about people wanting to reverse whatever permanent bc they have employed... I wonder what portion of these people felt pressured to make the decision vs. feeling complete peace over it??? Are there any studies or facts about that???

That would be very interesting

[live~laugh~love]

It's so interesting to hear all your stories. Thanks for sharing them! My dh is planning on getting a vasectomy, but it just seems sooo permenate. It's his body though, so I will respect him with it. With him being 45 and saying he's "DONE" totally, I'm going to think that he's NOT going to change his mind in the future. I could be wrong about that, but I really can't see him being 48/50 years old and saying, "Oh, now I think we should have another baby":dohHe's completely worn out with work as it is and he's the one that supports our family. I guess I just need to keep that in perspective, or else I have second thoughts (rarely, but they creep in;)).

I was talking to a couple of friends today and one of them has adopted in the past (twins) and they're starting the adoption process again, hoping for a sibling set. I have to admit, I was envious. I know I'm not supposed to feel that way, but I do. Ack!! Weird-o (me, not my friend lol)!!


That would be very interesting
Yes, it would!

[Iansmama]

:raise

I think back fondly to the time when mine were babies, but realistically have no urge to go through it again. I still love snuggling and holding newborns, but I don't want to have toddlers and preschoolers again :shifty

[forty-two]

We're done b/c of health issues. I'm still processing it, tbh - I really wanted just one more - didn't realize how much till the issues cropped up :shrug. But it does lessen the guilt factor quite a bit :shrug3. We're not doing anything permanent atm, but if we have an unexpected pg we will strongly consider it.

[Gowermom3]

I thought I was done when I had Ray but that was because of fear of having another very sick premature baby if I continue. So now that the drama is over and I see a good outcome I wold love to have more babies. I did the one thing I wish I would have never done. I had a tubal. I spend more days :cry2I feel like I made a hars decision when I did because I was told by my mom that I should not have anymore kids and if I did I could harm the baby or even myself. With that wonderful curs put on my sholders from her I went along with it and now cannot have any by my own means. I am totaly depending on God's Grace for me and some day I know he will bless me again. When that happens I know I will be :happytears:jump2. So I pray that one day I will be pregnant again and have the joy returned in my life. Then I have many times when I think I am being selfish and just want more not in ways that are fulfiling to my life and my family life. :hug2

[CapeTownMommy]

i felt more and more that everybody who was supposed to be here, was already here and that i was happy with the children I already had.

This is exactly where we are. When I was pg with Heike dh and I were both convinced we would have a third - and yet when we held her in our arms we knew our family was complete. Right now we're 100% done, dh is probably going to have a V within the next few months.

[mcomommy]

We are done after this little one comes. We almost got a vasectomy after when Oliver was a small baby but we just did not have a peace about it so we waited and low and behold between his first and second bday we decided we wanted on more. But now, now I do feel a total peace about it, I never thought I would honestly and entertained ideas of people just telling themselves that to make themselves feel better :giggle But I TOTALLY get it now and I know how it feels to just know, as far as babies coming from my body this is it. We are very open to adoption though, in fact we really want to adopt in the next 5-10 years if God opens that door to us.