Accountable Kids program?

[NovelMama]

Does anyone use this? It's got great reviews on Amazon--only 7 of them, but all 5 star--and I am having a really hard time installing a sense of responsibility in the girls. I know PJ is only 3 and probably can't be expected to grasp that kind of thing, but AJ certainly can, and she definitely doesn't. I'd love to hear what folks think if they've used this, or why they don't use it if they've looked into it. Do we already have a thread on this somewhere? I haven't bothered checking the search yet, for obvious reasons. :rolleyes If someone knows this has been talked about, and in what forum, I don't mind going page by page--that's less frustrating than the search, frankly!

[tree_hugger]

I am interested in this, too. :yes

---------- Post added at 06:20 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:18 PM ----------

http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/showthread.php?t=390030&highlight=accountable

http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/showthread.php?t=285847&highlight=accountable

http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/showthread.php?t=248579&highlight=accountable

[NovelMama]

Awww, thanks!

Alrighty, so after looking at those threads, it looks like it's a mixed bag. It also sounds like the parent is the one that needs to be accountable first (gee, what a concept!) and I will be the first to admit I am incredibly undisciplined. :bag I really don't like that about myself and am actively trying to change it, but I can see how it's already negatively affecting my girls and I want to nip it in the bud before it gets any worse. There is some serious entitlement attitude developing with AJ and I can't figure out where on earth it's coming from; we don't give in to her every whim or anything like that.

It sounds like AK is pretty much just a reward system, yes? I was hoping that it was actually instilling and teaching a sense of responsibility and accountability, and not just bribing them into looking responsible and accountable. That is where I feel like I'm failing. Part of my problem is that it wasn't modeled for me as a kid, either; we didn't have chores, because my mom actually liked cleaning and cooking and doing all that, and to her it was an act of service to her family. :heart I like that mindset, but at the same time, I was like Rachel on "Friends" when I left for college, having no clue how to do laundry or cook a decent meal because it had all been done for me.

So, in light of that...how do *you* instill a sense of responsibility, ownership in the upkeep of the home, and personal responsibility? And am I just expecting too much of that from a 3.5 and almost 6yo?

[Thankfulforgrace]

For right now I try to involve dd in the responsibilities of running the house. Barely any chores were done when I was growing up and other than laundry, I didn't know much.

So what I do: have her help me cook whenever she is interested. Whenever there is something she wants/needs that she can get (fork, something from the fridge, etc) I have her do it. She helps me load her laundry into the washer and put some away. We clean up toys and stuff together. Other than that I'm not sure. She sees me cleaning and taking care of the house as well and as she grows, I keep slowly adding things for her to do.

I think learning responsibility is a mixture of it being modeled, implemented in themselves and then it's up to them to internalize it... not sure that makes sense written out like it does in my head :giggle.

[NovelMama]

This is what I've been trying to do--for example, today is laundry day, so I've asked the girls to come alongside me and help with loading things, sorting, etc. We do this EVERY SINGLE WEEK and they *still* whine and complain and dawdle and do it poorly and whine when they have to redo it... :banghead

And the rare times that either of them actually asks to help, they want to help *their* way, instead of helping the way I actually need them to. For example, I was making muffins. PJ wanted to put things in the oven. I'm not letting her near that yet, sorry. :shrug But rather than do the things I told her she could, like helping mix or whatever, she refused to help at all because I wouldn't let her use the oven. AJ does this too.

[Thankfulforgrace]

:hug

That is really frustrating.

For laundry, sometimes dd is more resistant. Then I talk about how her favorite things are dirty and she won't get to wear them until they are washed. It would also be sad to miss playdates and stuff b/c everything is dirty. It works (with me waiting her out and not doing it for her) but sometimes there is a lot of whine.

The whining is not fun... :hug