elderly great grandparents

[WildFlower]

how do you do visits with elderly great grandparents with a young toddler? Or young child? :hunh

DH grandpa who is 93 is in the nursing home. His grandma who is 80something lives at home. Both aren't in great health and we don't see them often but we do try to visit. Sweetpea is their only great grandchild. Grandpa is mostly happy to wave and smile and laugh at Sweetpea from a distance at family gatherings but when we go visit him at the nursing home he wants her to come sit on his lap or come over to him. She seems fearful of him. I don't know if it's how he looks, or just because he is a man or WHAT but I am not sure what to do. I won't make her go to anyone that she doesn't want to. But not sure what to do to make the visit enjoyable for her and for him without forcing it.

When we go to visit grandma who is still at home, we take some toys for her to play with on the floor and let her crawl/walk around. Grandma wants to hold or touch her and is more insistent but easier to explain to her to that DD needs time to warm up. We generally bring DD over to the grandparent and sit really close with her on OUR laps or in OUR arms so grandma can talk to her and touch her hair or arm if she wants.

I guess I just wonder what do you all do with elderly grandparents and your toddlers? Neither of them is very sturdy and I wouldn't trust them to hold her unless she was sitting quietly on their lap which at this point she won't do anyway. I just want them to enjoy her and her to be realitively happy during the visit. Going to see grandpa is more challenging to say the least.

[cbmk4]

My kids were fortunate enough to know their some of their great grandparents. Fortunately, my kids seem to really like elderly people and were never afraid of them, even if they used a walker.

As long as the grandparent was sitting down, I never worried about them holding an infant or a squirmy toddler (not against my child's will, of course.) My grandfather, who recently passed away, probably made quick friends with my kids by always offering cookies or other treats, even when he was in the nursing home during his last few months.

My grandfather was not a great father to his kids, but I am grateful to have known him and for my kids to have known him and my grandma. I think it's great if you even just manage to take some pictures of your little one and her grandparent together.

[sweetpeas]

My grandparents live next door to my parents, well they did, my grandfather passed away this summer, so now my grandmother lives next door to my parents. My children have always seen them often enough, and my grandparents' personalities are such (not pushy) that it was never an issue. When the big girls (who tended to be nervous around men) were little Grandpa was content to sit and watch them play, Lina and Grandpa had a special bond from the beginning, and it was mutual. She would go running to him even as a very young toddler if he came into mom & dad's house or if we walked into his house and he was sitting in his chair. So anyway, no real help there BUT . . . I'm trying to remember back to when we would take the big girls to visit dh's grandparents when they were little. I know that as babies we have pictures of his grandparents (sitting down) holding the girls but at that age they went to anyone so it was a non-issue. I'm trying to remember our trip when they were toddlers . . . (his grandparents live/lived (his grandmother passed away last year) about 8 hours away. I think we did lots of talking it up on the trip out there. That we're going to visit Grandma and Grandpa H, showed them pictures from the trip when they were babies, and such. But still, I don't know that they were willing to go to them right away. I think we just told the grandparents, they're shy, give them time they might warm up, and then we visited with them while the girls played with the toys I'd brought (and the horribly NOT age appropriate toys that Grandma brought out (that I just dealt with and supervised VERY closely (small pieces)) we kept visits short (stayed in a hotel nearby and just went over to their house for a short time each day). . . and just tried to strike a balance of honoring everyone's needs/desires. It's hard, but the pictures (if you can get some) and memories of great grandparents loving and delighting in your children can be very special memories once the grandparents are gone.

[Mama4ever]

My children like sing with their great grandma. Just simple little songs, abc's and Jesus loves Me. Grandma doesn't always know who we are anymore and that is hard for everyone, but singing is something she can always do and the kids seem to enjoy it, too. We also like to bring a snack to share.

[Amber]

When they were toddlers, both my boys were a bit scared of my Grandpa (who is now 86). What won them over was him just taking it slow with them and reading to them. When they were little he would get down on the floor and play with them :heart

Both my boys have a great relationship with him now even though we only see him a couple of times a year. My oldest especially loves to snuggle up with him to be read to, or will talk his ear off about Star Wars (which my grandpa does not understand at all :giggle).

[hey mommy]

My grandpa lives with my parents, so that makes it easier. He's 83 and up until about a year or two ago, could outrun all of us. He likes to read to them and talk to them. They watch tv and talk about whatever the kids are interested in.

Oddly enough, my grandpa was the only male that C would go to when he was a toddler. It was weird. He wouldn't go to his own grandparents or his father, but he adored my grandpa.

[olive]

Sounds like you're doing well taking it slow. Perhaps Sweetpea could do a little drawing to take and give to the grandparent, or take a stack of photos of Sweetpea to show them. This might distract the grandparent from wanting to hold her and instead just talk to her and point at the pictures and interact that way until she feels like getting closer.

[olive]

Sounds like you're doing well taking it slow. Perhaps Sweetpea could do a little drawing to take and give to the grandparent, or take a stack of photos of Sweetpea to show them. This might distract the grandparent from wanting to hold her and instead just talk to her and point at the pictures and interact that way until she feels like getting closer.