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greengirl19
10-05-2011, 06:20 AM
The new church we have been visiting for about 6 weeks is starting a small group bible study in our part of town (we drive a ways to the church). We've met the couple that's going to lead it. They're an older couple with grown children and seem extraordinarily kind and spoke nicely to G. DH works with the man and he's very highly respected in the workplace so DH is actually totally on board. We briefly met another couple who will be coming and they have a little boy the same age as G. They were very friendly. I don't know how many other couples or kids will be there.

They sent out an mass email letting us know the time for the kick-off meeting, where we'll meet to decided what the future of the small group is. Frequency, time, place, meals?, etc. There was a note in the email saying that babysitting will be provided in their home.

G doesn't do childcare. If we start going to this bible study regularly, I would love for him to be ok playing with a couple other kids and a teenager in another room of the house. But I know this would take a lot of warming up to. So, when we go, how do I address the situation? I can think of a couple ways:

1. When asked if G wants to play with the babysitter, say he doesn't do well with strangers and I'd rather him just stay with me. This sounds really snooty like we're to good for the babysitter. How would you politely explain the situation?
2. Try and leave him in the playroom and when he starts crying (it's doubtful he'll even let me attempt to put him down) take him with me and explain that we don't like him to get upset and he's not used to having to be seperated from me.
3. Say he's tired or something (it will be right after his naptime and he will be sleepy/cuddly) so I'll keep him with me. If he gets distracting I'll go into the playroom with him.

I'm guessing that the long term solution is for me to go in there with him and stay and play and hope he gets comfortable to stay on his own after a while or have the babysitter come and find me whenever he wants to make sure I'm still there.

I've never been able to leave G in a nursery setting. Even at our old church where he was very familiar with the setting and people and I tried all sorts of warming him up to it. The most progress we've made is a neighbor comes over and plays with him while I do some chores. He has to hear me in the house and he comes to check on me a lot.

marbles
10-05-2011, 09:44 AM
I would do #2 but without all the explaining except to G that he can play with the kids if he wants or he can come sit with you, either is fine. Especially in a home group setting, few people have a "stay there no matter what" mentality that I have seen (even those who force nursery at church are more relaxed in a home). You sound like you have your defenses already up about this but I don't see a reason why you should. Go in assuming the best, and see what works for your family.

MarynMunchkins
10-05-2011, 09:46 AM
I'd be up front with people. "He's scared to be left alone with people he doesn't know, so he's going to need to stay nearby or I'm going to have to stay with him until he's comfortable."

One thing I've learned is that being matter-of-fact and practical about your child's needs often means that other people approach them that way as well. :)