I don't really enjoy playing with my toddler.

[joyousTXmama]

:blush

I enjoy reading to him, cuddling with him, teaching him things, doing crafts... but the pretend-type stuff he's into now - rolling cars around on the floor, making up games with Thomas trains, endless chase and peek a boo and hide n seek... I honestly would rather fold the laundry. He wants to play all. day. long. And I just can't. He's an extrovert always craving socialization and conversation and nearness - and I'm an introvert always craving quiet and solitude. It's hard to get him regular playdates because we live in a small town and I don't know a lot of people here. He's not in daycare or nursery school, and we don't have a church home, so those are all out, too. Dh will NOT play with him, detests playing ANY kind of kid games - so providing for his needs in this area all falls to me.

I've been trying to keep pace and give him what he craves, but lately I feel I'm just burning out. The dynamic drives me nuts. :bag

I feel so ashamed to even post this, but I need to know - is this normal? Don't moms usually like playing pretend games with their littles? I seriously feel like a jerk, because beyond maybe 1 well-spread out hour of that sort of play a day... I simply don't like to play.

[bec28]

I'm on my phone so this'll be short, but I don't enjoy that type of play either. I like doing things with him, but just sitting and playing, nope, makes me bored out of my mind. So you aren't alone :hug

[AngelaVA]

:hug Very normal, I don't like those games either. I make myself do the chase but set a time limit for when we are going to move on to something new. The pretend play I say I will help them get set up if they need it and then if they are lonely I will sit and do something near them while they play. With a toddler I would occasionally engage to encourage them but only briefly sort of like popping in and out of their game.

Is there any chance of more playdates? Trying meetup.com or Attachment Parenting International or someplace like that for playgroups?

[Allison]

Oh, it's nothing to be ashamed of. :hug2 I don't enjoy playing with my children, either.

I like board games, coloring, puzzles, sports in the yard, etc, but pushing cars around, playing pretend, etc do not appeal to me. We all survived the toddler years without me having to play much. :yes

[joysworld]

You are not alone:) I do not enjoy 'playing' with them with the pretend play, but I do sometimes because they LOVE it. I enjoy playing with them when it comes to the tickle game, cuddling, etc.

[houseforjoy]

well, seeing as how i don't normally push cars around on my own, or dance around like a ballerina I don't feel bad that I don't really "like" doing it with my kids either. I don't really like changing diapers tho either, but some things we just do cuz we love our kids :) Don't feel bad for not liking it:no

[Psyche]

I like doing things w/ my kids. I loathe playing w/ them. I'm pretty sure I feel my brain cells die...

[Delaney]

I do not like playing like that either. It is ok that we don't. There ARE things I DO enjoy doing with my kids though. Going for a walk/hike/bikeride/run. DS loves to join me in the garden, me weeding or digging or whatever, and him driving his cars and trucks in the dirt piles he dug up. Or burying things and finding them. I have designated a little section of garden that he can play in right now, and he loves it. If I am working in the house he sometimes "helps" me, but often he just brings whatever he is playing with (usually legos, cars or books) to where ever I am working and plays near me. If I am baking I let him break eggs, or hold the mixer. There are so many things that you can do with your kids. Invite them into your world. They like it.

[NeshamaMama]

I will gladly play imaginary games that involve us pretending to be things other than what we are (we crawl around and pretend to be different animals a lot :giggle) but if I have to involve some stupid little car or figurine or train then forget it, I'm out. :no I don't feel bad about it at all, because I know that there are plenty of things that I *do* enjoy doing with her. She plays the boring games with the little boy I watch, or at playdates, and in the future she will have siblings to play with. It's not a base I feel like I need to personally cover. :shrug

[joyousTXmama]

Thanks all, I am feeling more normal, and less like ogre selfish mom, reading these replies. :phew.

Though I can't help wondering if, maybe, the people who do like to play those kinds of games are just too polite to post here :shifty.

[AngelaVA]

One thing I found to be true when I read playful parenting is that if I am getting my "play" time doing things I find fun, playing with my kids is easier and more enjoyable.

[Aerynne]

I don't like playing pretend games AT ALL. Fortunately my first child never did, really. Oh there was some "Mama I made you some soup" or "want to hold my baby (doll)" and that was fine by me, but nothing elaborate. She and I would do puzzles or build with blocks and I would involve her in my cooking, cleaning, and laundry. We'd do art projects together or take walks and read lots and lots of books. I'd take her to the playground, the zoo, the Children's Museum, etc.

Now that I have more kids, they do the pretend play with each other and I don't have to. Really, throughout history, play has been something children do by themselves or with each other while grown-ups are working. I don't think parents have to play with their kids. I think they absolutely have to interact with their kids, a lot, but not necessarily play. With only one child you will have to do some playing, but it's okay if it doesn't feel natural to you, and it's okay to steer it in the direction of stuff that does feel natural to you. You want your child to get the message "I enjoy being around you" and they can totally tell, so it's better to do stuff you do enjoy doing with them.

I didn't even like pretending when I was a child.

[MercyInDisguise]

:no Totally normal! Crystal has something about this on her site too, how you can teach your kids and spend time with them but teach them that their job is to play and your job is to do Mommy Stuff. I never remember my mom playing with me as a kid, and I'm fine. ;) I was an only child too.
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[Mamalu]

Normal!

I once had a play therapist tell me that 15 minutes of floor time per day was good. I was astounded.

There are lots of good answers here.

[ArmsOfLove]

OH goodness I find that type of play MIND NUMBING!

I worked hard to teach my toddler how to play *near* me. I would check in and comment with descriptive praise on what he was doing; I would give him feedback that let him know I was aware of what was going on; I would work on my work while he played (which we called his work).

Thankfully as each child joined the family there were more children for each of them to play with :heart

[IslandHome]

Another one here who doesn't enjoy pretend play :) I remember reading once (maybe it was Crystal's article!) that plays like that is for kids, and it's okay not to do it as a parent. I still enjoy doing other things with him, but the trains, cars, cubbies, elaborate pretend play he generally does on his own (though, I will occasionally join in for a while)