need bath help!!!

[WildFlower]

DD HATES when I rinse her hair, she doesn't like water in her face/eyes. I can't lay her down to rinse any more. She doesn't know to look UP yet. I tried a bath visor and although it does seem to "work" she won't keep it on. She gets upset and shakes her head and cries because she doesn't like it on her head. She shook her head so much , it started leaking.

What can I do? I know she'll eventually be able to look "up" or maybe even tolerate the visor, but for now, I am clueless...:scratchI don't need to wash her hair very often but she's got LOTS of hair and it DOES need washed occasionally!

[light of mine]

My DD has vestibular sensory disorder and she hates getting her hair washed for the same reason. I found this http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001B1FHK0/ref=asc_df_B001B1FHK01632517?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=asn&creative=395093&creativeASIN=B001B1FHK0

at a little botique close to my home, and it works perfect. She can sit straight, and I just angle the hat to make sure all the water runs off the back of her hair. It is worth its weight in gold at my house.

[blondie]

My daughter hates getting rinsed too. I usually use a cup to pour the water, and put my hand over her forehead to block her eyes/face.

[WildFlower]

Thank you! I saw those rinser hat things on Amazon before but wasn't sure about trying one. But if it works for your DD , hey I might as well give it a try (it looks like there is free returns on Amazon so if it doesn't work, I could always return it). It might work better than the visor, because she wouldn't have to actually "wear" it.

[jmom1984]

My daughter likes to hold a washcloth over her face while I rinse her, but idk if your DD is still too young to get that??

[klpmommy]

I hold a dry washcloth over the eyes/face.

[Marrae]

I used to wait till bathtime was over, wrap dd in a towel (arms in) and then tuck her under my arm, head forwards and feet out the back. I held her head over the bathtub and poured water from a jug over her head making it into a game.

:hug ITU about a lot of hair and it really *needing* washed. :hug I hope you find something that works for you both. That device on the Amazon link looks like it is worth trying. tu

[Katigre]

Do you have a shower handle that you can pull down to rinse her with? That's what I do with my kids. DS doesn't like getting his hair washed b/c of his face getting wet, and the shower head is the fastest/most painless way to rinse him (he gets freaked out about tipping his face up, etc...). I tell him it will be a count to 5 for him to be rinsed and I put the spray all over his head like a hair dresser does while my fingers work the hair with the other hand, and then we're done. He doesn't like it but is fine once it's over - and it is the fastest and most efficient option available :yes.

[PattyLA]

I never wash my girls hair. I stopped using shampoo or soap when my oldest was 6 months old and never used it on my younger dd. They have lots of long hair. They are always getting complimented on how beautiful it is. One is straight and one is wavy. I put apple cider vinegar in their bath and let them lay back and rinse it there or pour a cup of it over their hair.

They don't smell like flowers or fruit but I'm ok with that. They still smell great to me.

My younger dd is nervous about the tub but will lay back if the water isn't very deep. She loves doing that.

[klpmommy]

I never wash my girls hair. I stopped using shampoo or soap when my oldest was 6 months old and never used it on my younger dd. They have lots of long hair. They are always getting complimented on how beautiful it is. One is straight and one is wavy. I put apple cider vinegar in their bath and let them lay back and rinse it there or pour a cup of it over their hair.

They don't smell like flowers or fruit but I'm ok with that. They still smell great to me.

My younger dd is nervous about the tub but will lay back if the water isn't very deep. She loves doing that.

wow, both of my girls get *stuff* in their hair and need it washed to get it clean-- like pieces of food or whatever. They get washed more often in the summer b/c of the pool as well. :shrug

[PattyLA]

wow, both of my girls get *stuff* in their hair and need it washed to get it clean-- like pieces of food or whatever. They get washed more often in the summer b/c of the pool as well. :shrug

My girls get stuff in their hair too. It comes out without any soap. Just a rinse. Lest you think I have the kind of girl who hates to get dirty my older dd makes a pet out of the worms she finds in our compost bin and I invest in stain treater by the case.

[WildFlower]

does vinegar hurt their eyes if the bath water gets in their face on accident?

some people think I should just pour water over her face and get her used to it. :no no thanks.

---------- Post added at 11:34 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:33 AM ----------

oh, I did order one of those visor/shields that light of mine suggested. It's on it's way, so we'll see how that goes ! :)

[rjy9343]

some people think I should just pour water over her face and get her used to it. :no no thanks.

I've gotten that before. It is very annoying to say the least.

[Katigre]

I've gotten that before. It is very annoying to say the least.
:shrug But sometimes it's true. Hair needs to be washed over here or my kids get scaly scalps. It's non-negotiable once or twice a week when they have baths (just like teeth brushing is non-negotiable daily). When DS doesn't like any of the options for having his hair washed b/c of the water on face/ears issue, the kindest thing I can do is to get it over with quickly and talk him through it while I do it ("I will count to 5 and then it's done" "I will pour water on your head 3 times and then it's rinsed" "Almost done - now done" etc...).

That's where coaching our kids through unpleasant experiences is so important. Sometimes discomfort is part of life and empathetic coaching them through it when it's necessary makes a big difference :yes.

[WildFlower]

:shrug But sometimes it's true. Hair needs to be washed over here or my kids get scaly scalps. It's non-negotiable once or twice a week when they have baths (just like teeth brushing is non-negotiable daily). When DS doesn't like any of the options for having his hair washed b/c of the water on face/ears issue, the kindest thing I can do is to get it over with quickly and talk him through it while I do it ("I will count to 5 and then it's done" "I will pour water on your head 3 times and then it's rinsed" "Almost done - now done" etc...).

That's where coaching our kids through unpleasant experiences is so important. Sometimes discomfort is part of life and empathetic coaching them through it when it's necessary makes a big difference :yes.


yes, I can see that.:yes The way you describe it makes sense, with coaching, I like that example. But the examples from those that suggested it started dumping water over their babies heads from , well tiny infants, despite sputtering or crying, although it never sounded like they had sensitive children that screamed bloody murder when they got their heads even so much as WET from day one...like my dd... So until DD is older and able to be coached, it is hard to get her to understand the purpose of water on her head.

[Barefoot Bookworm]

I find a detachable shower head helps a lot so I can angle their heads up myself before spraying. We still have to wash their hair any way you look at it so if they fight me there, we just keep going while I reassure them that it's all right and then towel their faces off ASAP.

[PattyLA]

[QUOTE=hailey1312;4049540]does vinegar hurt their eyes if the bath water gets in their face on accident?

some people think I should just pour water over her face and get her used to it. :no no thanks.[COLOR="Silver"]

---------- Post added at 11:34 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:33 AM ----------

It is very dilute in the bath water and I haven't ever heard them complain about it burning in their eyes. When I just do a rinse with the vinegar water it is just one cup of water on their hair so it is over very quickly. That would probably burn in their eyes but since it is so little water that hasn't ever happened.

[KCMartha]

My DS is the same way. I do the "make it fast and talk" approach too but he still hates it. It doesn't seem to matter to him if I do the cup or the showerhead.

[klpmommy]

My girls get stuff in their hair too. It comes out without any soap. Just a rinse. Lest you think I have the kind of girl who hates to get dirty my older dd makes a pet out of the worms she finds in our compost bin and I invest in stain treater by the case.

she'd get along great with my E :lol

does vinegar hurt their eyes if the bath water gets in their face on accident?



nope. i don't use it in the tub, but i use vinegar/water for house cleaning and R has squirted me in the face before-- no sting at all and it's 50/50 white vinegar/water.

[LadyofReason]

Can she not look up or just doesn't understand "up"? My kids have done well with looking at the "Monkeys on the ceiling" or ducks or butterflies or whatever. With my 23 month old I have him look at the pretty scrubbies hanging on the shower head.

With my YDD I had to count down through the rinses. "10 more cups. Ok, only 5 more. One more honey. Oops! Sorry I was wrong two more." (Last part added when the darn bubbles didn't rinse out as fast as I expected. :O )

With either, if they just wouldn't cooperate I would dump the water over their head and rinse as fast as possible talking them through it. (like PP said)

[WildFlower]

Can she not look up or just doesn't understand "up"? My kids have done well with looking at the "Monkeys on the ceiling" or ducks or butterflies or whatever. With my 23 month old I have him look at the pretty scrubbies hanging on the shower head.

With my YDD I had to count down through the rinses. "10 more cups. Ok, only 5 more. One more honey. Oops! Sorry I was wrong two more." (Last part added when the darn bubbles didn't rinse out as fast as I expected. :O )

With either, if they just wouldn't cooperate I would dump the water over their head and rinse as fast as possible talking them through it. (like PP said)


I guess I never asked/told her to look up.:blush I didn't think she would understand what I meant, since she's only 10 months old. I could try putting something brightly colored up on the shower head and point at it and see if she'd look up. It's worth a try really. If she'd look up, it would help SO much. She's usually always looking down at her toys! Most everyone I know doesn't have problems washing their babies hair at this age because they don't have near so much. She has as much hair as some 2 year olds I've seen!

[Llee]

We switched to washing in the kitchen sink/counter, because doing it in the tub, no matter how it was done, was a big pain that made her scared to get in the tub again for days.

[ViolaMum]

I guess I never asked/told her to look up.:blush I didn't think she would understand what I meant, since she's only 10 months old. I could try putting something brightly colored up on the shower head and point at it and see if she'd look up. It's worth a try really. If she'd look up, it would help SO much. She's usually always looking down at her toys! Most everyone I know doesn't have problems washing their babies hair at this age because they don't have near so much. She has as much hair as some 2 year olds I've seen!

My two olders had hair like that. They were both in pigtails at 9 months. i just always held a dry washcloth over their eyes and got them to hold it as soon as possible. I have to keep an extra in reserve in case they stick it in teh tub. My olders still don't like to get their hair rinsed and I use the hand held shower head and count them down.

[Niphredil]

My ten month old couldn't understand up, no way, or monkeys on the ceiling. I do the sprayer, quick and easy and talk reassuringly through it. This has been our routine for the girls and they both went through various stages of disliking it and, alternately loving it. They can look up now, if they so desire and don't make any fuss about it.

Save for the little guy who hollers every time... yet will put his face directly over the sprayer at the splash park and squeal with glee. Sorry, kiddo, I'm not buying it. :rolleyes2

[NewMommy]

Use a cup. She can sit up in the tub and you can just tell her to tilt her head back.

[WildFlower]

the bath visorthingy from amazon was a no go. she won't stay still enough to let me use it. A cup doesn't work. She is only 10 months. she can't follow directions.

[hopeforchange]

all of mine have hated having their hair washed; my almost 5yo STILL freaks out over washing hair, although it's much easier to coach her through it now.

what i do when they're that age (and even the age of my boys now) is use a cup in one hand, and use my other hand to tilt their face back OR put at the top of their forehead OR rinse their hair OR any combo of those things and doing if very quickly. now my kids don't have a ton of hair, so it might take you a bit longer. but like PPs said, some things just have to get done and they might cry through it, but then it's over with. and eventually you and they learn how to get through it without the tears.

another thought would be to do it in the kitchen sink and use the sprayer at the sink or get your dh to help you...one holds her head back/protects her eyes with a washcloth, the other one washes and rinses quickly.

[BeachMama]

Forgive me if I'm repeating... didn't read the other responses.

My almost 5yo is JUST getting better about the hair washing. It's rough!
Ok, we have used various tricks to get them to look up. "Tell me what color the ceiling is." or even just having them tilt up to give me a kiss is enough to get a cupful on. My husband puts a wet washcloth on the little guy's head and says "Where's D? Where's D?" then pulls it off towards the back and goes "There he is!" D laughs and it slowly wipes off his hair.
When they were really struggling with it, i would just rinse 'em down with water most times and only do the shampoo bar once a week.

[cheri]

I think that at this point, you have to decide how important it is to you and how often to do it. And how you feel about her being upset about it.

My younger dd HATED all forms of baths unti she was close to a year old. I mean, screaming the entire time. When she was tiny, I went weeks without bathing her. As she became more mobile, it had to be done because she gets stinky. And up until about a month ago (she's 19 months), she would scream if she had water on her head. (fwiw, I think that going to the pool has helped with that issue)

I use a cup or the sprayer on my shower. And I'd wait until the very end of the bath and wash her hair last, and rinse it as quicky as possible. ANd yes, she would scream every time her head got wet, but I refused to not wash her hair because she screamed. She gets sweaty, stinky, all kinds of food in her hair, and it needs to be washed/rinsed out.

[Aerynne]

I don't know how much hair she has, but with my kids I just wash it and rinse it with a washcloth. It takes longer, but if they're happily playing, it is fine. So I put the shampoo on like normal, then I get a washcloth wet and wipe, rinse washcloth and wipe, etc, bunches of times, until it's all rinsed. I still do this with my 4yo ds and with my 17mo dd.

[light of mine]

Ooops I forgot to check your siggy for her age, at that age my kids have always just taken a bath w/me (multi-tasking and all that :giggle) and I just lay them down w/their head in the crook of my arm and except for my oldest w/sensory issues none of them have cared too much.

[WildFlower]

honestly I am beginning to wonder if she does have sensory issues or something but maybe she is just a particularly sensitive child. She HATES the sound of the bath water running (not because of being in the tub or because of fear of bathing I don't think) Because even if I am in the tub WITH her, and the water is running, she is crying. As soon as I turn it off, she is fine. If she hears the shower go on, she starts getting this fearful look as well. Mind you, she has never been IN the shower at all. :no From the first time I gave her a bath at around 2 months old, she SCREAMED when her head was wet. She had tons of hair at that age too. I figured out quickly that she did fine so long as her hair didn't get wet. She has always startled at noises, and still does with some, flailing her legs and arms if she is being held. She no longer cries at most of them though, just startles easily. She doesn't like the feeling of being tossed up in the air, it makes her cry, unlike other kids who think it is funny. It took her forever not to not get scared going down stairs with me holding her, it's like that reflex where they put out their arms when they sense they are falling, was really exagerated in her, and she would freak out when I was just easily carrying her down the stairs. She would go beat red, tighten up, and act like she thought she was going to fall and then cry afterward. :hunh

[Llee]

No SPD issues here and Dressy has always hated the shower and hated water on her hair, from birth. It's somewhat better now, but when I tried forcing/powering through washing her hair in the tub, she started freaking out about even being near the bathroom. And I had just figured out how to get her to like the tub--she prefers cooler water.

So now we finally have her take baths in the bathtub and I wash her hair in the kitchen sink and talk her through it.

You're not alone. :hug

[klpmommy]

I wonder if wet combing her hair in combination with a wet washcloth would clean her hair? :think

[WildFlower]

I wonder if wet combing her hair in combination with a wet washcloth would clean her hair? :think
I will try that, and what Aerynne said would probably work better. I will try to do that and see if it helps. :)

Loralee, glad to know mine isn't the only one! :O

[Aerynne]

I will try that, and what Aerynne said would probably work better. I will try to do that and see if it helps. :)
:O

I forgot to mention they don't even have to be in the tub for my method to work. You can put them in an empty tub or on a towel on the kitchen floor, just as long as you have a bucket of warm water for rinsing the washcloth. JIC actually being in the tub causes freak-outs.

[MomtoJGJ]

DD3 and DD4 hate having their hair washed. Well, DD3 doesn't really care any more, but she was.

I just washed it about once a month, if that, and used the shower sprayer and sprayed it out quickly and then got them out of the tub. I would always give them the chance to cooperate, but it gets to the point that you just have to get it out, and it was always better to get it over with quickly.

DD4 actually does better in the shower with DH and always has. He can stick her under the shower and she doesn't care.

[WildFlower]

so this morning I took a bath with DD and then I washed her hair. I cradled her in my arm like she would for nursing and rinsed her hair with a wash cloth. It worked wonderfully! When she was sitting up in the tub she would still get water in her eyes when I was using the wash cloth because she is always looking down. But cradling her in my arm made her feel secure and she was smiling at me the whole time!!:)

[DancingWithElves]

:hug

using only conditioner will often clean just as well as shampoo, and does not sting, and it does not have to be rinsed out thoroughly, for that leave-in effect.

it's a fine balance with coaching them through this experience. i've heard many parents dismiss this issue, and i'm glad you don't. i've had a 10 yo foster dd severely traumatized by her former caregivers while caring for her hair :( she healed quickly, but after dealing with that i will never dismiss a kid crying over his/her hair being washed :no

[WildFlower]

:hug

using only conditioner will often clean just as well as shampoo, and does not sting, and it does not have to be rinsed out thoroughly, for that leave-in effect.

it's a fine balance with coaching them through this experience. i've heard many parents dismiss this issue, and i'm glad you don't. i've had a 10 yo foster dd severely traumatized by her former caregivers while caring for her hair :( she healed quickly, but after dealing with that i will never dismiss a kid crying over his/her hair being washed :no

my sister says she just dumps water over their heads (her 2 boys) and they got "used" to it and were fine. My mom cared for my sister's DS1 90% of the time when he was 0-3 years old. She says my sister was only home to bathe him once in a rare while ,otherwise my mom was the one bathing him. She said he did fine, so long as you layed him down and didn't get his face wet. She says when my sister actually did bathe him and dumped water over his head, he did NOT do fine, but screamed and was scared. :(
I don't take lightly dd's fears. I hate water in my own eyes, I don't want to compound her fears by forcing her to get her face wet. :no

[DancingWithElves]

waterboarding works for a reason :( this is a very very real thing. i'm happy to see you are working this out with such care :hug