Musings on life with more than 2 kids

[heartofjoy]

Can I just say how amusing I think it is when a mom of a young child and a baby expresses how hard it is to parent two and then goes on to say that she can't imagine how I do it with 5? :giggle

I always tell her that her job parenting a young child and a newborn is WAY harder than mine parenting 5. Even when the youngest was a newborn. The older kids all went off on adventures together and I got to snuggle my newborn in peace!

Parenting a newborn and a toddler (with no older kids to help or distract/entertain the toddler) was one of the most challenging things I ever did. :heart

[FindingMyWay]

I agree.. people tell me I have my hands full all the time.. But really now it isn't hard at all! of course we have bad days but we're no longer in survival mode compared to 5 years ago!

[JessicaNichole]

:heart 100% right! when my oldest 2 were babies i never could shower or do anything without fear of someone waking up, now if i need a shower i have lots of helpers to entertain a baby or toddler :) i think too, im also more relaxed about parenting, so i can see the fun in things that before would have made me cry :)

[arctic oak]

This is interesting for me right now... I have 3 ages 5, almost 3 and 1. I can't imagine adding another to that mix, but don't feel we're done yet either. So for you experienced mamas, is going to #4 a lot harder? (hope this isn't OT!)

I didn't find 2 so hard but there were 2.5 years between my first two. It was the jump to 3 that's made me go :crazy

[cindergretta]

The jump from 2 to 3 was the hardest one for me. :heart For whatever reason, after that, they just came along and fit in much more easily... :giggle

[megmac]

Can I just say how amusing I think it is when a mom of a young child and a baby expresses how hard it is to parent two and then goes on to say that she can't imagine how I do it with 5? :giggle



I'm one of those moms.

2 almost drove me to an early grave. I really want more children but the thought of having to go through that again terrifies me.

[Allison]

So, what you're saying is that what I experienced with a 4yr old, 2 yr old, and a newborn would not be my experience now (with a 9, 7, and 5 year old) if I decided to start over again?

I am so torn about the spacing of my kiddos. I love that they are close in age and that I've completed the marathon of having back-to-back pregnancies, babies, toddlers and preschoolers. I'll have adult children by the time I'm 47. I like that. However, I think I would have been a better mother and been better able to enjoy the 2-5 stage that I hate so dearly if I'd have spaced them 4-5 years apart.

[heartofjoy]

This is interesting for me right now... I have 3 ages 5, almost 3 and 1. I can't imagine adding another to that mix, but don't feel we're done yet either. So for you experienced mamas, is going to #4 a lot harder? (hope this isn't OT!)

I didn't find 2 so hard but there were 2.5 years between my first two. It was the jump to 3 that's made me go :crazy

Okay, to be totally honest, that age spread was pretty difficult. It had to do with my oldest being extremely difficult. I think that was her worst year.

And your oldest two aren't quite old enough to entertain a 1 year old on a regular basis. Once your oldest is 7.... ;) :giggle

Having toddlers and babies was always hard for me. Very hard.

---------- Post added at 09:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:05 PM ----------

I'm one of those moms.

2 almost drove me to an early grave. I really want more children but the thought of having to go through that again terrifies me.

:hug

---------- Post added at 09:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:06 PM ----------

So, what you're saying is that what I experienced with a 4yr old, 2 yr old, and a newborn would not be my experience now (with a 9, 7, and 5 year old) if I decided to start over again?

I am so torn about the spacing of my kiddos. I love that they are close in age and that I've completed the marathon of having back-to-back pregnancies, babies, toddlers and preschoolers. I'll have adult children by the time I'm 47. I like that. However, I think I would have been a better mother and been better able to enjoy the 2-5 stage that I hate so dearly if I'd have spaced them 4-5 years apart.

No, I don't think you would have the same experience at all! Your little ones would have someone else to idolize and follow around and beg to play. My littlest hardly ever asks me to play with him. He just doesn't think that way. Mom is for nose-wiping and band aids and helping him dress. His siblings are the fun ones. Although they do help with all the "mom things" sometimes too.

I think I could have enjoyed it more if they were farther apart too. But now with them all so close, they can play better together than if they were further apart.

---------- Post added at 09:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:10 PM ----------

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[wisdomjourney]

I am really interested in this. DH and I have two ages 5 and 3. I really (!!!!) want more, but he is so incredibly anti-more that I don't bring it up. The night parenting is the most challenging part for us, since I get insomnia if my feet hit the floor (we do co-sleep, but DD had reflux issues and needed to be upright for a bit after every nursing... though I might make different choices if I had that issue again). And DH turns into a man he calls "EvilDH" when he loses too much sleep. Seriously, if it weren't for the night parenting, I think DH might be on board. Well, that and sharing my breasts. (Can I say that here? :giggle)

I've heard from a lot of moms that the move from 2 to 3 is the hardest, so that's another mark against it in DH's mind.

[Drummer'sWife]

We are going from 3 kids to 4.... after a 7 year gap!!! DH was *DONE* after #3, while I always felt someone was missing. Finally, in the last year or so, I came to terms with being done. Then, HELLO!! I found out I'm pregnant. After the initial shock, we are excited and I think I will really be able to enjoy this pregnancy and the newborn stage which I didn't so much with the others because of how closely they were spaced (and therefore being a walking zombie for about 3 years). It's fun too, because the kids are so excited about having a new baby.

[StrangeTraveller]

Ahhhh so there is hope! 4, 2 & newborn is....tough.

[mom2afew]

Ahhhh so there is hope! 4, 2 & newborn is....tough.

Yes, yes it is!

My youngest DD is going to be a yr next week, and i'm FINALLY get a hold of things. right now they're 4, 3, and i'll say 1 cause it's less then a week away. It's very hard to get us out of the house, i struggle with it and dread having to go out with all of us. It's the car seats, i hate them so much lol.

[sprout]

i agree...7 is quite a magical age!

[Elora]

there are too many factors for me to say "what's hardest"

the first year with my first was the hardest for me personally

ds1 wouldn't latch. i pumped every 2 hrs around the clock and still struggled to maintain supply. he never slept more than 40 minutes. i work full time and was sleeping only 3 broken hrs a night, no chance for naps. ds was needy and clingy, but he tore my pump apart making it impossible for me to pump with him in my arms. when not in arms, he screamed and cried. being torn between my screaming baby and the pump, on 3 hrs of broken sleep, was harder than any other situation i've encountered thus far. not to mention the emotional wreck i was, grieving the loss of a nursing relationship, that stupid pump a constant reminder. dh was working nights, opposite my dayshift, so that we didn't have to put ds in daycare. this meant that i was not only solo parenting every night, but cleaning up the disaster of a mess that dh left for me before he went to work (he was doing the best that he could at the time, but lets just say he's come a LONG way in his ability to care for children while simultaneously keeping the house in some semblence of order...the first year as parents was rough for both of us). and to top thngs off, i really could have used dh's shoulder to cry on, but i never saw him

after the first year i ditched the pump, ds started sleeping 3 hr stretches, dh went to part-time day shift....and everything has been a breeze in comparison

my subsequent babies latched. nursing babies are easy :shifty they wake just as much. but cosleeping nurslings compared to pumping and bottlefeeding is worlds easier and more restful. with rest and God, i can handle the carseats

although i am in total agreement that the carseat situation with a 4 yr old, 2 yr old, and newborn (in the back of our sedan) is CCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZZZYYYYYmaking :giggle i will be very happy when ds1 can buckle himself. i would be happy if i didn't have to remove a carseat in order to buckle the middle

[MarynMunchkins]

Um, being a single parent with 5 is WAY WAY easier than having 2 under 2 or 3 under 5. Having all your kids be under 5 is exhausting. :phew

7 is definitely a great age though. :tu They're so much more grown up and capable of helping themselves and me.

[ilikestrawberryjello]

Ahhhh so there is hope! 4, 2 & newborn is....tough.


This is where I am currently. I just want to curl up in bed....:)


But I have to say that going from one to two was harder for me than going from two to three. As long as I don't leave my house I'm good! :giggle

[heartofjoy]

I am really interested in this. DH and I have two ages 5 and 3. I really (!!!!) want more, but he is so incredibly anti-more that I don't bring it up. The night parenting is the most challenging part for us, since I get insomnia if my feet hit the floor (we do co-sleep, but DD had reflux issues and needed to be upright for a bit after every nursing... though I might make different choices if I had that issue again). And DH turns into a man he calls "EvilDH" when he loses too much sleep. Seriously, if it weren't for the night parenting, I think DH might be on board. Well, that and sharing my breasts. (Can I say that here? :giggle)

I've heard from a lot of moms that the move from 2 to 3 is the hardest, so that's another mark against it in DH's mind.

Moving from 2-3 wasn't a hard transition for me. But it took until baby #3 to be completely comfortable with-cosleeping and nursing while sleeping. I no longer had to get out of bed and my body was used to sharing space. By then I was also more used to waking up a few times in the night and able to go back to sleep. If my ability to sleep had never improved, I would have been in huge trouble after #3!!!

Also my #3 was the easiest, sweetest, happiest, little ball of cuteness EVER. :heart

[RealLifeMama]

This is so true!
When DH takes he older three and leaves me with the 2yo and the baby, I am amazed at how much harder it is to be at home. I like quiet, though, and it is a lot quieter!

[heartofjoy]

the first year with my first was the hardest for me personally

ds1 wouldn't latch.


My first baby was difficult too, but nothing like what you experienced. :hug I also had breastfeeding issues, and the fact that I didn't nurse her past 3 months, GREATLY contributed to my desire for another baby. I wanted to NURSE A BABY!

[deena]

couldn't agree more

[Aerynne]

Yeah, two littles was hard! The third was easier for reasons already mentioned.

[arctic oak]

Um, being a single parent with 5 is WAY WAY easier than having 2 under 2 or 3 under 5. Having all your kids be under 5 is exhausting. :phew

Thank you! This is affirming to hear this. I have tried to keep getting out for the sake of my oldest, but I really struggle to keep up with the moms that I hang out with who have 1 or 2 kids and no baby in tow. Car seats nearly killed me- especially squished in our car and snowsuits added to the mix. But from what I hear from you all, the hardest part is over!!!

[StrangeTraveller]

carseats aren't so much a problem for me now that we have a van. it's when they are at a playground with running space or whenever they have other kids to interact with (especially if the moms are not used to having a bunch of littles and do NOT Get Off Their Butts. :crazy)

I dream of the next one coming when Mox is 3, rather than 2. I think that would make a huge, huge difference.

[Niphredil]

Oh the carseats. :crazy I have three rearfacing and I swear getting them in and out twice is a far more daunting thought than the two hours walking through the zoo. It's craaaazy.

Right now I'm sitting on 7 months of having a 3 year old, 1 year old and a newborn. It's been sheer madness. 1 to 2 was easy. It was fun, actually. This year has been, well... let's just say I'm glad it's in the past. :shiver

We know we want one more, but we can't decide if we want to embrace the crazy and just get the next one out of the way or put a good size gap between them.

[MomtoJGJ]

yes to all of the above! And now I'm finding myself wanting to have our next (last most likely) sooner rather than later before it gets super easy :shifty Chances are Evie will be just as old when we have another one as my oldest was when #3 was born.

[Heather Micaela]

This is one of the reasons I am done. I can imagine 6 or even 7 kids ages 4 and up, but I am so done with the baby and toddler stage. However having the 9 and 7 year old does make it easier to care for the younger ones.