Anyone read "NurtureShock"? What did you think?

[Katigre]

I just finished reading this book and wondered if other mamas had read it - what do you think of it? Which chapters were most interesting for you (or which did you disagree with)?

NurtureShock book on amazon.com (http://www.amazon.com/NurtureShock-New-Thinking-About-Children/dp/0446504130/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1298135051&sr=8-1)

[everydaygrace]

I haven't read it but i read the jacket at b & n and it looked really interesting. I have in mind to read it one of these days but I dont known if I'll ever really get around to it.

[Aerynne]

:popcorn Never heard of it before this

[Eowyn]

:popcorn

This was just recommended tonight at my class on infant mental health.

[Waterlogged]

IIRC i skimmed/sped-read it at B&N a few months ago. I was impressed at the amount of research-based information in the book. But I didn't read it thoroughly.

I remember feeling a bit :nails that perhaps I hadn't been responsive enough with DD IRT language development....

[Dana Joy]

I loved the chap on sleep.
The one on only children was fascinating.

[Ellen]

I read it, but it's been a little while and the book was borrowed so I don't remember what all the chapters were. It was a very interesting read.

I was already familiar with the chapter on praise, from when it was published in the NYT. I really like that article. :yes

The chapters on lying and on teaching race relations presented some interested findings, I thought. Those chapters made an impression on me.

I don't remember which chapter it was, but I was also interested in the description of the successful preschool / K program.

Honestly, I don't remember disagreeing with much in this book. :think

[SweetCaroline]

looks really interesting..if only i had the time ;)

[mountainash]

:cup

[everydaygrace]

I remember feeling a bit :nails that perhaps I hadn't been responsive enough with DD IRT language development....

I skimmed a bit of it too, and at the time (DS was only a month or so old), I remember deciding not to read it right then because it made me feel overwhelmed with all the things that I would have to do "right" to be a good mom. I've hit my stride at the moment though, so I think I would enjoy reading it now.

[swimming with sharks]

just reading the 1 star reviews on Amazon....makes me want to read it. :think I want to see what it's all about. I do think it's interesting that the writers are journalists and not scientists or even educators. :think:shifty

[~yogamom~]

I thought this was book was fantastic. I did feel some mom guilt from it, but overall the information was so interesting it was worth some of my feelings about it. The chapters on race, giftedness, and sleep I remember especially (it's the sleep one that really guilts me!). The praise one I consider basically required reading (I knew about it the NY magazine prior to it appearing here). Good stuff!

[jujubnme]

I downloaded this book after seeing your first post on this thread. It was a a very interesting read. I was quite fascinated by the chapter on self control, and honestly wanted to give it right away to the K teacher and headmaster at ds's school. :giggle (I actually still might do that :think) It certainly has made me think about setting some weekly and even daily goals. My dh has done that with ds from time to time on days when ds doesn't have school and has a whole day to fill, and it's amazing how well that worked (and amazing that I don't do it more often). The chapter on teens scared me! Praise I was pretty much on board with that already. The sibling chapter was interesting... as was the section in it about the onlies (since I have an only). Was sort of wishing it had more info about onlies (after seeing someone comment on that earlier in the thread before I actually read the book).

I'm wondering what struck you in the book, Katigre, that prompted you to start this thread. You always have interesting and articulate takes on books. :cup

[verbatim]

I read it and really liked it. Like previous posters, I felt the chapter on praise should be required reading. The race chapter was really interesting because it seems counterintuitive--we think that if we don't bring up race, our children will be colorblind. It was eye-opening for me and definitely changed the way I will approach tough subjects with my little one as he gets older (he's 13 months). I will definitely talk about things specifically but in a way he can understand.

I'm also interested to see if what the original poster didn't agree with--I can't remember rejecting anything outright. (And I tend to be a rather disagreeable reader, ha ha).

[Katigre]

I'm wondering what struck you in the book, Katigre, that prompted you to start this thread. You always have interesting and articulate takes on books. :cup
The chapter that fascinated me most was the one on the Kindergarten curriculum for at-risk kids (Tools of the Mind). I posted a bit more about it here: http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/showthread.php?p=3786524

I liked what they had in the talking about race chapter but that wasn't necessarily new to me, and the other ones I remember is sibling relationships and teenager/parent conflict in the home. I skimmed the praise chapter since I've been on the 'no empty praise and no generic 'good job'' bandwagon for years now :giggle. DH read it and really enjoyed it too.

[Mokek Kwe]

bump :popcorn I have this book but only remember reading a few things- like Baby Einstein/ educational programming, language development.

[teamommy]

DH and I are listening to this on audio right now.

Very interesting. The part about sleep was a reminder to me and wake-up to DH.

I'm pondering the chapter on lying and how it relates to GBD. Some fits, some of it, maybe not.

[TraceMama]

:cup I've been meaning to get it on audio from the library. :yes

[hopeforchange]

i got this book a couple of months ago and really enjoyed it. i need to give it to dh to read.

one of the first things i did was see if there was a preschool around here that taught the Tools of the Mind curriculum; i even emailed them and asked. :giggle unfortunately there's not.

[RedHeadMom]

I read it, and one of the things I actually remember (which alas, isn't much) was the part in which the authors discuss how little kids imitate what they see on TV. Of course. But that they were more likely to learn bad behavior from educational programs, which follow a formula of something bad happens then conflict resolution. Young children can't put the whole together- they imitate the very same bad behavior that the show is trying to address positively. Makes perfect sense. I wonder if it applies to books, too.

[Pearl In Oyster]

I checked it out from the library to read last month.

I was familiar with the praise chapter from when it was published online, so skimmed that.

I thought the teen/lying chapter correlated well with GBD: teens who lied the least and had the best relationship with their parents were teens whose parents had a few rules that they enforced consistently, yet were willing to be flexible for specific situations.

The sleep chapter did bring on a lot of mama guilt.

The language acquisition chapter affirmed a lot of what I already do naturally.

The Tools of the Mind chapter had me looking for local preschools that use the curriculum (there are none) and had me incorporating some ideas into my time with C.

The race relations chapter was interesting and makes sense to me in light of how I've heard other touchy subjects such as sex, drugs, peer pressure are recommended to be handled. Kids need specifics, but at their level.

[CCmomma]

This stood out for me as well. I was a classroom teacher for 10 years and often used books for talking about expectations and how to treat others at school. Now I am wondering if I was unintentionally reinforcing the things I didn't want.

[BlueWaterAnnie]

Margeret, what did the sleep chapter say that brought on your mama guilt??

[Pearl In Oyster]

Just how important sleep is, especially sleep before midnight. C had been having a late bedtime (between 9 and 10pm). Yesterday I moved it up. We started our routine much earlier, but she didn't actually fall asleep until it got dark outside around 8:15.

[mariposa]

I read it, and one of the things I actually remember (which alas, isn't much) was the part in which the authors discuss how little kids imitate what they see on TV. Of course. But that they were more likely to learn bad behavior from educational programs, which follow a formula of something bad happens then conflict resolution. Young children can't put the whole together- they imitate the very same bad behavior that the show is trying to address positively. Makes perfect sense. I wonder if it applies to books, too.

Interesting. I've always been very picky about what ds sees and hears for this very reason. I'm putting this book on my "to read" list. :yes

[Pearl In Oyster]

That chapter stood out to me too.

When I was growing up, my mom was picky about what she let us watch (Dukes of Hazzard was a no-no because they disrespected authority, no Simpsons for the same reason), but my aunt was even pickier and we kids thought it was ridiculous that she wouldn't let her kids watch "Arthur" (the kids show with the aardvarks) because they bickered too much. Turns out she (and my mom) were right.

[tigerlily]

I was curious about it, then was wary when I read the one star reviews on Amazon. I'm not sure how much stock to put into those reviews, though.:shrug3

The reviews mentioned that it seemed like it was writing to middle class, white, Americans. Did you all feel that was the case?

[Psyche]

Checked it out at the library today

[swimming with sharks]

I was curious about it, then was wary when I read the one star reviews on Amazon. I'm not sure how much stock to put into those reviews, though.:shrug3

The reviews mentioned that it seemed like it was writing to middle class, white, Americans. Did you all feel that was the case?

:shrug3 Not sure....as I had to read it from where I am (white, American, middle class :D) However, I think a lot of the stuff like the tv stuff. Watching kid shows where they're mean to each other so they can have a resolution in the end....seems that while that falls maybe under the American heading....I'm pretty sure most kids of most races and most classes (?) watch kid cartoons. The sleep chapter as well....kids NEED more sleep. I don't know who's studied it but I would be prone to guess based on the rate that their bodies and brains grow it would be pretty much across the board thing that kids = greater need for sleep. This book really had some good stuff to remember and think about in it IMO. :yes

[Psyche]

I'm really interested in the TOOLs program. If a school in our area had that, I would enroll Caden, stat. I think he'd really benefit.

His chapter on sleep is consistent with other readings I've done on the subject. His chapter on Race is also consistent with how my college students behave (self imposed segregation). :shrug

[Punkie]

I enjoyed this book. I think about it a lot, especially when I see parents interacting with their kids in ways that seem right, but may have unintended consequences.

[teamommy]

I would like to know more about author bias. After listening to the whole book, it's clear to me that he is a journalist who cherry-picked his topics and slant, to a certain extent. I enjoyed it very much, but my take on all of what he presented is that "common wisdom" isn't necessarily true, and that research shows conflicting results depending on what questions you ask when you study the question, what population is studied, and what methods are used. All things I already knew, but the topics were interesting.

I was particularly interested in Tools of the Mind, but I did my own searching and found that the research on this program isn't especially positive or negative, for sure not as high in "evidence-based" effectiveness as he made it sound.

The spanking research was very interesting and more what I would have expected (spanking did not result in increased violence if it was an expected part of the culture) than what I've read in the past (all spanking increases risk of violence and criminality), actually; to be clear, I am anti-spanking and don't believe it is beneficial, but, if you read the book, maybe you know what I am talking about.

[backtobasicsmum]

Just a little :bump
I'm reading this for book club this month and wondered if anyone else had read it and wants to discuss more.

[TraceMama]

I *want* to read it, but I can only get it as an audio book from my library. :shrug3 This might be the impetus I need to "borrow" it again and actually listen this time. :shifty

[MercyInDisguise]

I'd like to be in on a discussion of this book. I just downloaded the Kindle version onto my phone today so I haven't gotten too far yet, but I would like to talk about it more!

[backtobasicsmum]

I read it through once already, and I'm going to go back now and make some note and questions in each chapter. I'll come back here and make some comments as I go along. :yes