MOPS discipline question

[nadezhda]

I seem to recall reading somewhere on GCM that MOPS isn't supposed to push certain discipline methods. However, the MOPS website doesn't mention anything about their official stance on child-rearing/discipline (that I can find), BUT Focus on the Family is an official sponsor. :hunh

Our last MOPS meeting (which I did not attend due to illness) was supposed to be a Q & A type forum w/3 couples from the church (including the pastor & his wife - also a mentor mom who I heard telling a MOPS mom, "Well, sometimes you have to show them who's in charge, no matter how unpleasant it is." :-/). I asked the MOPS leader if a mom disagreed with the advice given, would presenting another POV be acceptable? She basically said, "No, it's not a time for debate, just advice from parents who've BTDT." I know for a fact that Dobson is highly recommended @ that church AND that BW is also followed by the youth pastor & his wife. The Pearls have a following amongst some of the homeschoolers, as well, so I was :nails as to what I was going to have to hear. I was actually thankful to be sick! :giggle

Anyway, b/c MOPS isn't supposed to promote certain materials/childrearing/discipline methods, I was wondering if this type of forum was even acceptable? Or am I wrong in thinking MOPS isn't pro-spanking? :scratch

[Maggirayne]

:sigh Well, the church where I first went to MOPS had an Ezzo class. I just don't know, but that would stink.

And wow, was she dismissive of you. Presenting another POV doesn't have to be a debate, just this is a possible way to deal. :rolleyes

[nadezhda]

Well, she wasn't really as dismissive as all that. :) She stated it much more graciously, but that was the bottom line. :shrug I did tell her I wasn't sure if I would be able to sit there & keep my mouth shut if spanking were presented as the "right" way to "discipline" children, even though my intent wouldn't be debate, but merely stating a different POV most people in Christian circle (ime, at least) have never considered. But since I woke up sick that day, it ended up being a non-issue. For now. :wink

[greengirl19]

My MOPS group (which I no longer attend) could have been a Babywise biggest fan club It was sad. But I think it varies a lot from group to group, that mentality is very ingrained in people in my area in general.

[nadezhda]

:think So what I'm understanding is that MOPS Int'l may not advocate specific discipline methods, but each group is free to promote whatever author/method they choose? Is that correct?

[Calee]

I wonder too if it isn't even totally a purposeful promotion. BUT if the church hosting it subscribes to a certain method, or if the majority of the women in the group subscribe to a certain method, maybe it just "seeps" into the group-you know? The church I grew up in held Ezzo classes. The MOPS group did not "promote" Ezzo, but just by nature of the fact that most of the women IN the group went to the church and did Ezzo, it was pervasive in the group, KWIM? Went to another MOPS where they didn't have Ezzo classes at the church, and I didn't hear about Ezzo at all.

[gentletitus2mama]

I think every MOPS group does have it's own flavor. One of the groups that I helped lead was very attachment parenting oriented because 3 of the main leaders were also LLL members!:giggle The other very larger group I went to, really didn't get into many specific parenting things, so that was fine... but they were much stricter about babies being with Moms...etc.

[nadezhda]

Calee, that's a very good point in that the promotion is likely not even intentional. It's probably more "pervasive viewpoint" than "intentional promotion." :yes

The leaders here are the youth pastor's wife and a deacon's wife. :shrug

[Quiteria]

I think I saw reference to MOPS making a statement against Ezzo somewhere on www.ezzo.info where they go through and list all the major name Christians that have said something aginst. It was not included specifically in our MOPS charter materials or handbooks...I'm wondering if maybe the statement was made a while back when Ezzo was first becoming big, and somewhat forgotten about now?

They ask that local groups not promote things that are divisive, in general....that they avoid strongly supporting anything as a group that would push away moms from the groups' main purpose of loving moms in the name of Christ. It's supposed to be a seeker-friendly organization, a place where Christian moms can get fellowship and advice, but also where non-Christian moms can feel welcome and build relationships well enough to get to know who Christ is by seeing who we are as individual Christian moms working together to love one another...That should preclude officially teaching Ezzo, but some churches feel so strongly, practically worshipping him like his words are scripture instead of comentary that actually twists scripture...some churches would never dream of running a parenting group without mention of spanking. But officially, yeah, spanking is a good example of a controversy that will drive AP mothers away. They just don't see that in some churches that are blinded to the nature of his message. And the local groups have enough autonomy from the overall organization that they can easily develop that flavor without ever being called on the inappropriateness of it....go figure, a lot of the Christian volunteers higher up probably come out of the same churches...it's not the official vision, and it shouldn't be...but it's like a cancer across groups, church denominations, homeschooling associations, and sadly...MOPS. Unofficially present wherever enough people believe in it.

[bolt.]

"MOPS" is a very loose 'umbrella' that provides (optional) materials, possibly a template-format, and a sense of cohesiveness to what are basically individual moms-and-tots groups run by the people that run them.

Many MOPS groups don't do any of the 'curriculum' -- we do ours once a month, and the other official meeting we do anything that seems good -- crafts, manicures, service projects, guest speakers (from library ladies to self-defense experts).

If a group is presenting a pannel, I understand that they invited those people to share their views, not defend them... but I also understand that the personal opinions of a BTDT mom on a 'pannel' are no more the opinions of MOPS than the contributions of any other group member in an open group discussion.

[nadezhda]

If a group is presenting a panel, I understand that they invited those people to share their views, not defend them... but I also understand that the personal opinions of a BTDT mom on a 'panel' are no more the opinions of MOPS than the contributions of any other group member in an open group discussion.

You stated my opinion so much better than I could! :)