What would you have been stricter on?

[Jemma2]

Are there any things you wish you would have been stricter on/more consistent with when your kids were little that you feel like it's too late to change now? Like, my kids are both fairly picky eaters and I sometimes wish I would have been more strict on making them eat what was in front of them instead of allowing an alternative. There's nothing I can do about that now, of course. What's done is done. Just curious if you had things like this too.

[Aisling]

I think with food, it's not so much a matter of being strict as it is introducing foods into a forming palate at an early age. That's really kind of a developmental quirk, truly, than a discipline thing. :heart

In the end, if a child can't be successful with a certain behavior at a certain age, you can't make them be more "able". :hug Being stricter while a child lacks the necessary maturity is basically an exercise in futility.

I do think, though, that sometimes we can get too lax when our children are ready/needing firmer boundaries in certain areas. I've not found anything particularly hard to teach once I realize my error, though, with consistency.

I think there's a temptation to play the "Maybe if I'd only..." game when a particular child or children just don't come by certain things naturally. Sometimes, a person is just *born* having difficulties in certain areas, and there's nothing we could do to make it easy. Sometimes, it's just HARD, and some things come with years and years of consistant teaching, reinforcing and gentle instruction. They'll get it, eventually.

I do believe that some people don't internalize certain abilities and character pieces until early or mid adulthood. For instance, I'm just now learning the importance of forethought with concrete problems, instead of rushing ahead impatiently. :shifty:doh I've honestly had to live this long to gain the frame of reference in the world to do things that don't come naturally to me. :O;)

[klpmommy]

my dh is a very picky eater & I know he was forced to eat everything on his plate at every meal. So while it looks like an easy solution, I don't think it necessarily is. I agree with gentlebirth on that one b/c what I see is that P&E are picky eaters and so far S&R aren't. P&E I did the American jarred plain baby foods. S&R I fed off my plate from the beginning.

There are definately some areas that I think I needed to be more self controlled on for *me*.

[katiekind]

I was not strict on my boys about eating food they didn't like and the two older ones grew up to be very adventurous eaters - to say the least. I was stricter on youngest and he is a (politely) picky, extremely unadventurous eater.

So that shows to go you.... :shrug3 that forcing kids to eat what they don't want to doesn't equate to learning to appreciate a wide range of food.

If I had it to do over again, I would have been stricter about everyone pitching in to help, organizing "family work days" and stuff like that. The older boys had chores because I couldn't manage without their help. Youngest got a pretty free ride because there were so many older capable people around to do a diminishing amount of work....but that wasn't the best thing for him.

[Herbwifemama]

Funny this thread is about food- I was going to say not offering enough variety of foods when she was learning to eat solids- I wish I'd offered more with her instead of letting her stick to fruit all the time.

[Jemma2]

I didn't necessarily mean for it to be about food. That was just my example. I'm not beating myself up about anything. Just looking back I can see where I could have been more consistent about certain things that I wasn't. But since we're talking about food anyway, I remember that with DS I would enforce a certain amount of bites he had to take or that he at least had to eat, say, 3 green beans even though he didn't really like them. I never really did that with my DD at all and now she absolutely will not try something if she's already made up her mind that she doesn't like it. I made chicken pot pie the other night and knew DS would eat it even if it's not his favorite thing. But because I knew DD doesn't like her veggies cooked, I made her a separate plate with just some of the chicken and then the same veggies only raw. So she was eating the same foods as us, just not prepared the same way. It felt a tiny bit like overly catering to her, but I rationalized by thinking that at least she was eating the same actual foods as we were and I wasn't really cooking her something completely different.:shrug3

[CrunchySeaSalt]

Nothing.

I was NOT always a gentle mama :blush when I should have been. I was too strict on things that are not that important, and it was only "for the sake of it"

This time I have a feeling that I will be posting a "yes XXX and XXX" on this thread in a few years :shifty

[Kiara.I]

I would have been stricter with myself about pottying the boys frequently. DS1 is over 3 now, refuses to poop on the potty, and will only use it for pee when forced. Sigh....

Hoping we can still catch DS2 in time.

[allisonintx]

I wish that I had been consistently GBD from the beginning. I even dabbled in some Pearl type junk (not from the book, but from advice from someone whose children I admired...though as adults, now, not so much :rolleyes2 )

I wish I had never set a child to CIO, ever. I wish that child didn't now suffer the same insomnia that I do because of it. I have big regrets about this one.

I wish dh had been around for Andrew when he was forming his ideas about what is "fun" rather than traveling for work.

If wishes were horses then beggers would ride.

Mostly though, I hope that my children will see that I never quit trying to do what was best for each of them, individually.

[ArmsOfLove]

Nothing. When something did bother me I addressed it and made changes. Picky eating is often a symptom of food issues or SID issues and addressing the real problem combined with maturity will often resolve the problem. Even my pickiest young eater is now willing to try anything and that was her own idea :tu

[4MKfam]

Don't know about "stricter," but I DO wish I'd been more consistent, especially with our oldest :bag. I was amidst trying to (:shifty ahem) "discern" the right "parenting style" more than I was actually parenting some days :sigh. So soon old, so late smart.
I wish I'd worried and REacted less and acted in love more. But, then --I could be talking about as long ago as this morning with that comment :shifty...

[Meli]

Chores. I initially struggled with the "it's easier to do it myself rather than teach them to do it" thing. Now I struggle with the "it's easier to do it myself than listen to them whine about doing it" thing.

[Heather Micaela]

I do not so much wish I had been more stricter, just more consistent.

Now there are some things AS A FAMILY we are tightening down on and I kinda wish I started earlier. And junk food is one:yes But I have grace for where I was and so we just move forward. :)

[ArmsOfLove]

bless your heart! I needed to edit my posts to protect my family's privacy. I'm sure you understand...:heart

[Rabbit]

I wish I'd gotten my PPD treated a year sooner with Simon. We're still reaping the repercussions for letting it run for 18 months, and probably will be for a life time.

[mommylobster]

I think I'm learning to be less strict (my DS is young though so maybe this will change). I find that I could have worried less about stuff.

I do regret feeding DS store bought baby food. I struggled with PPD too so I'm not sure if the added stress of making my own would have been good but I had a terrible time transitioning him to solid food and he is a very picky eater now.

I read the book "The Baby Whisperer" and tried some of that stuff but I ended up almost loosing my supply of breast milk because of it. That was before I'd ever heard the term GBD or AP. I learned the hard way. But I'm proud of myself for working hard to get my supply back up and didn't have to stop bfing.

[CapeTownMommy]

Just on the food thing: As a child, I ate almost no veggies voluntarily. Just peas and potatoes. I remember forcing down cauliflower and literally feeling like I was going to vomit. And then I grew up, and now I LOVE veggies. It was just a maturity thing. So I'm not going to force my kids to eat specific veggies - as long as she's eating a balanced diet with whole foods, I don't care that much if she eats only peas as a veggie.

[LisaMarie]

omgosh - yes. I wish I had been more consistant about no jumping on the couch, because now they've broken it and it's a continuous place where they think they are on a crash mat lol!

[mom2chaney_girls]

Chores. I initially struggled with the "it's easier to do it myself rather than teach them to do it" thing. Now I struggle with the "it's easier to do it myself than listen to them whine about doing it" thing.

This is what came to my mind immediately... I think it is too late for my almost 18 yr old DD. She creates a tornado in her path. I worry about what kind of homekeeper she will be.

I know now that I should have been more on top of teaching them responsibility around the home when they were younger. I have been making an effort to work on this since my son was born 5 years ago; but, oh my! the whining, stomping around and huffing... it almost makes me just want to do it myself!