neighborhood children

[Embracing Grace]

Spring is here (spring break for ps kids), and our home is being swarmed by the neighborhood kids... I don't mind Josiah playing with them, their interaction is very good- imaginative, active, respectful, etc. BUT, these kids are out ALL DAY LONG. Literally. Sometimes they come by and ask for Josiah when we are not even up, and I see them riding their bikes when it's getting dark. Our backyard is adjacent to the alley, and we have a simple chain link fence, so you can see right into our yard. There is really no way for Josiah to be out and NOT interact with the kids, so he ends up playing/talking with them all day. We feel comfortable letting the kids play in our front yard, and it's okay for Josiah to ride his bike up and down the alley, but he really needs a break!! He has to come inside if we want him away from the kids, but it's so nice outside it's a shame to have him indoors! I really am struggling with boundaries on this issue. I can't tell the kids not to come by our house, because the alley and street are public areas.... and I can't keep Josiah indoors all day because I sense that he needs a mental break. So, anyone been there and done that? Any tips?

Thank you! :heart

[swimming with sharks]

can you go somewhere like the park for a few hours? Maybe other places? play dates at friends house? :hugheart

[Embracing Grace]

:( Yeah, but that really depresses me... I LOVE being at home. We do go out a lot, and today was our one day to relax, read, play in the yard, but instead Josiah was pining away to join the kids. Eventually it was so pathetic and sad to see him in such a state, I let him go. And then they play SO WELL together that I really can't justify stopping them, but at the end of the day Josiah is tired and cranky, and I haven't had a moment's peace because I have to keep an eye and ear on them (plus all the snacks and drinks). :-/ Ugh. I just feel like my home is being invaded and I can't stop it! I really dread the summer..... I really want a privacy fence!!!! I'm an introvert, too, for the record.

[Earthylady]

This seems to be a common issue lately. :) You might need to explain to your child that there are boundaries that you need to keep for your family. That you all have things that need to be done and once the work is finished, he may get a break to play for x amount of time and then you'll need him to come back, etc. How will you handle it in the summer? You know? It will be all summer long and it's best to figure out now a long term answer to make it work as peacefully as possible. Get a sign to tape on your door during times you don't want disrupted and make sure the passing by kids know not to knock when the sign is up, or something like that.

Just some thoughts as we live in an apartment complex and the neighbor knocked 3 times in one hour last week during nap time. I was fuming!

[Jemma2]

I read an idea once where someone would put a colored sign in the window so neighborhood kids knew when it was okay to knock. Green meant it's okay to come play and red meant it wasn't (kids were napping, eating a meal, etc.) I'm wondering if there's some way to incorporate that with the yard area. Like a green flag means it's okay and red means come back later. It sounds like your son really wants to play with them but you're seeing that he's getting overly tired at the end of that whole day, is that right? Maybe it will even itself out as when we get more into spring/summer. Right now everyone just so glad to be out.

I hear ya on the introverted thing and kids in and out all day. I've finally gotten to the point where I've allowed myself to say no to kids asking for snacks and drinks. They live across the street. If they're hungry/thirsty they can go home and get something. I figure that way they're at least checking in at home once in a while too.

[natalianmama]

The sign idea works, we had to use it when we lived in a large condo complex, we used the green/red idea since most of the children were preschool aged (unsupervised all day, go figure) and I had to learn to say no to the snack/drink thing, too. I am also an introvert and it's hard for me to say NO to other people's kids, but I did. We had a nice yard but no fence, and I did take them a lot to the park/lake/pool etc...just to get away from it.
We also picked up a few cool things at garage sales (sandbox, water table, etc...) for the times I needed them to stay home and also when we had other friends over for playdates I told them they needed to play in our "yard". They were picking up some icky words, too, so that made it easier to say NO...sigh, it's tough though!

[scrappyknits]

The sign idea DOES work - with a little enforcement, of course. I put a "baby's sleeping" sign on my door when I didn't want the neighbourhood children at my door, when we lived in a very child-populated area. They did respect it, and I also DID allow them in or my children out for a portion of every day, so they realized I wasn't just disliking them or anything.... but that said, having the neighbourhood children around our house all the time, tho sometimes tiring, became a real ministry to the children and their families. Many began to come to church with us, and we saw changes in their lives. It was very exciting!


:hug
I do understand how difficult it is to deal with the constant children when you just want space to yourself. I hope you can find the trick that works for you and your family very quickly so that you don't have a frustrating summer!