what is your personal comfort level re: nursery/childcare?

[Waterlogged]

I need to get in the habit of going to the gym. Our rec center has free babysitting from 8-11am and 5-8pm. Their policy is that they get you if the child cries for 10minutes. Remarkably, when I checked in at 10mins today, I could tell Katherine had cried, but she was relatively calm.

Exercise really helps with my mood. The gym is nice b/c I can use the elliptical machine and really get my heart rate up. I take walks with Katherine in the stroller, but I can't get my heart rate up as high, and I never feel like I got a really good workout.

So I'm curious as to other people's personal comfort level re: nursery/childcare situations.

[tigerlily]

At my Y the policy was 10 min of crying, but you could ask them to page you at 5 if you wanted and they were good about listening to the parents wishes.:tu

[Happygrl]

As long as my child(ren) are content, well-cared for and I trust the workers and the situation, I am totally fine with it. My daughter has been in more care than my son because he has only recently begun being okay with it. My daughter has been okay with it since she was quite young but only with certain providers (and so she was only left with those).

Mama-care is certainly important. :yes If you have a situation that works for you and you listen to your daughter's needs, then I say go for it.

[cbmk4]

we did not use the church nursery at different stages in the kids' lives if they weren't comfortable within a few minutes. Our nursery director is very good about paging parents back if the kids don't calm very quickly.

At the gym, kids can't stay in the childcare playroom until they are 2. My youngest wasn't happy to stay until the past year or so, so I had to work out very early in the morning (like 5:30 AM!) Luckily, she likes it now and even asks to go so she can play there.

[Aerynne]

I go on a case-by-case basis. Some questiond I ask myself:

Is the environment pleasant?
Does it seem clean?
Do the other kids seem happy?
Is the environment calm (and not chaotic)?
Is my child comfortable here?
Are the caregivers consistent (vs a different person each time)?
Do I trust that my wishes will be followed?
Will they come get me if my child is unhappy?
Do they treat children with respect?

In general I don't leave my kids at places like that much just because it's hard to find places I like.

[SarahH2]

This is always a hard thing when it comes to my daughter. She is very attached and its hard to hand her off to someone including the people she knows. She will usually cry until she can no longer see me than she stops. I too go based on my gut feelings ie. is she safe, is it clean ect. You must do whatever works for you and whatever you feel comfortable with, but also keep in mind that you need time for you too.

[Pragmatist]

When I work, my DH watches dd. She does go to Sunday School and loves it.

I would be more comfortable leaving dd for a short amount of time, such as working out. I'd still ask the same questions as for a long term situation, but I think she could handle 1/2 hour to an hour w/o a problem, especially if there were new toys and kids to entertain her.

[RiverRock]

The policy at my gym is also to get the parents after 10 min. of crying, but I always told the workers to get me after any immediately inconsolable cry. My youngest started going to the gym playcare when he was 6 weeks old, but I would take him during the quietest time of day with siblings. There were months when I didn't take him to playcare at all because he didn't want to be there. Overall, he enjoys going, so if he says he doesn't want to I make other plans. :shrug3 My next oldest child didn't go to playcare until she was a year old...I just didn't think she was ready. I still went to the gym but usually in the evenings when dh was home, or when I could leave her with a mother's helper who came over twice a week for dd's first six years.

[trustingGod2]

I need an other option....I will leave my children with only certain people as of right now my DC are comfortable with and I trust completely several GCM moms and my pastor's wife .

[Bonnie]

Due to some things I've seen re: gym care situations, whatever you do, don't just take the caregivers' words for how well they implement policy. :shifty Ask around, talk to other AP mothers in the area before you trust them. A facility that I *almost* used where we used to live became quite well-known locally for disregarding parents' wishes and ignoring cry times and being just plain rude to upset children, but would be all kinds of sunshine to the parents' faces and outright lie about how their child had done. If someone hadn't put two and two together - and had a friend who tried to work there but quit due to being unable to work in those conditions, we never would have known.

Sorry to be a downer. :shifty I would *definitely* use that kind of a resource if I'd thoroughly vetted it and had solid recommendations, though.

[Ajani]

My only nursery experience is our church nursery. Our daughter is 2 1/2 and has recently begun crying again when I leave her there. But I know that she'll stop within minutes, so I'm fine with that. If she didn't stop, they would come and get me. I'd feel the same in a Y setting. If I know she'll settle, I'm fine with leaving her with people I trust. If I didn't trust the nursery someplace, I wouldn't leave her there, regardless of if she cried or not.

[Abibigail]

At the gym, I have left my girls, and they have done very well. I often would hand dd2 to a worker, peek in partway through to find her still in the caregiver's arms, then take her from the caregiver's arms when I picked her up. Once or twice, I came in to get the girls, and dd1 was snuggled up next tothe caregiver, and dd2 was on her lap. They were VERY good about listening to what I needed and wanted for the girls.

We go to a small enough church that everyone knows us and how I parent, and they come get us if anyone needs us. I trust the other mothers at my church implicitly.

[brandi]

If I didn't have a choice to leave my DC, likr I had work or school, my criteria would be a lot different than if I had a choice in putting them in childcare. Does that make sence?

If I don't have a choice in leaving my DC in childcare (like having to WOH) then I would get recomendations, check for cleanliness of the workers and the facilities, talk to the care giver about discipline and crying, talk to them about food sensitivities etc. I will also tell them what works best AFA calming the DC. I would try to build a good relationship with the teacher. Then I would trust my gut. If it doesn't feel good to me, I wouldn't leave my DC.

If I do have a choice in whether I leave my DC like going to the gym or putting them in the nursery at church, I will take it on a case by case basis. I will go into the nursery and stay a few times until my DC are comfortible. I am ok with a little crying through the adjustment period. I usually will hangout out of sight to see if the DC calm down. If the crying does not stop within a minute or becomes frantic, I will go get the DC. Some DC are easier to adapt than others. DS1 took a few Sundays to willingly go to SS and CC. Now he loves it. DS2 is still with me and DH. I also tell them to page me for any discipline issues, not feeling well, and any crying that cannot be stopped (usually after a few minutes)

[Karen]

My daughter (2) LOVES to go to the gym with me. She asks to go. My son (10 months) is still okay with it. We do a combination of things like he stays with grandma or daddy, sometimes I go early or during their naps.

I have become aquainted with the workers. What I really like is nursery is behind glass so I can check whenever I like to see what is going on. The parent grapevine is fast. They had a kid in there hitting the other kids. Before he was even picked up, most of the parents knew and went in to check, voice their displeasure, and find out policy.

[ValiantJoy07]

The only people I'm comfortable leaving the girls cry with is DH or my Mom. OR if some one was going to be their primary caregiver (like at an in-home daycare situation) than I'd be comfortable with that- not so much with strangers that they don't know or won't get to know and trust over time on a regular basis (does that make sense?).

Church nursery we skip, it freaks dd1 out to be in a room away from us and we'll wait until shes' ready. Why push it it's not like we HAVE to be away from her sunday mornings? We've never even tried taking dd2 in- she generally nurses or is really fussy because she doesnt' like being out of the house at nap time so I'm walking the floor with her the whole morning. :shrug3
ETA: as for gym situations I would probalby go in the evening after DH got home from work, but I enjoy exercise DVDs and taking the girls for walks (with 20lbs on my back and pushing a 25lb toddler +stroller resistance is WAAAY up). We also have an old elitpicle that I can run on on rainy days if I want but I can't with dd2 crawling and into every thing...maybe in a year or two.

[yellowheart]

I work at a YMCA and my children are in the "Childwatch" area for 4 hours daily M-F. DS has been down there since 9 mos. DD since 6 wks. This is part of my benefits...free childcare. The way I view is...if the diapers are changed, babes are fed, and comfort is given when they are upset then I am happy. I try not to expect all that much. I certainly don't expect them to teach them anything. And, I expect that time outs will be used b/c that's really the workers only form of "discipline". IME...When you are a working mom you have to accept some "things" that a SAHM wouldn't.

Have to go to a meeting...BBL.

[Johns_Gal]

No childcare for preverbal kids for me. Not worth it.

And "verbal" means "can communicate well". Not just "Kitty!" :lol

I cannot leave him with strangers. Family has time and again refused to protect a child if it goes against the husband. :yuck With the track record, I'd be insane to leave him.

The one time I tried a church worker went against my wishes and let him cry.

[Eowyn]

I know the workers at my Y, and as soon as the kids are comfortable with them, they can stay for a workout. They call my cell phone (it has a music player, and I usually listen to that) so I don't miss a page. :tu We've only been paged a couple of times, and IIRC, it was well before baby reached the hiccup stage. Now they go and I have a hard time getting them to come out. :giggle

[Johns_Gal]

I know the workers at my Y, and as soon as the kids are comfortable with them, they can stay for a workout. They call my cell phone (it has a music player, and I usually listen to that) so I don't miss a page. :tu We've only been paged a couple of times, and IIRC, it was well before baby reached the hiccup stage.

I think if I knew folks I'd feel much better about it. :yes

[yellowheart]

One thing I want to add....is that if you are using childcare at a gym....please....for the love of all that is sacred and good....turn down your music or leave one of your earphones out. MAKE SURE YOU CAN HEAR THE PAGE!!!

I know for a fact that our Childwatch staff tries to comfort upset babes. I hear at least 2-3 pages every morning. And, I know they're good about calling me when one of my children are upset. I feel very comfortable leaving them downstairs. And, I didn't bat an eye at leaving a small infant down there either. I think I'm probably lucky. I know that not all Childwatch/nursery situations are good.

[Waterlogged]

Well, we tried it earlier this week. We got there right when the babysitting room opened at 5pm. DD had a fresh diaper, was well fed and relatively happy. She was the only kid there. I expected to be called/paged, and I wasn't. I went and peaked through the glass after 10min, and while she didn't look exactly thrilled, she was engaged with a book and wasn't crying. I worked out 10 more minutes, and then picked her up. She had been the only kiddo for the first 10 minutes, and then it was just her and a 6yo who was watching TV.

I felt so good after working out so hard that for me, it was worth it. :yes

[yellowheart]

Well, we tried it earlier this week. We got there right when the babysitting room opened at 5pm. DD had a fresh diaper, was well fed and relatively happy. She was the only kid there. I expected to be called/paged, and I wasn't. I went and peaked through the glass after 10min, and while she didn't look exactly thrilled, she was engaged with a book and wasn't crying. I worked out 10 more minutes, and then picked her up. She had been the only kiddo for the first 10 minutes, and then it was just her and a 6yo who was watching TV.

I felt so good after working out so hard that for me, it was worth it. :yes

I'm glad it worked out for you!!!

FWIW....most kiddos do not get upset going to the nursery at a gym. In most cases its the mama that is far more upset and worried than the child. I don't know your full situation or what kind of exercise you want/can do, but, would it be possible to get a jogging stroller? Personally, I go to the gym in the fall/winter and then almost exclusively walk outside in the spring/summer/early fall.

[Waterlogged]

Yes, we have a jogging stroller. And I do walk ~3x/week. However, I don't get my heart rate up enough so I get that exhilarated feeling. And I need some exhilaration in my life. :) Running on concrete isn't an option b/c I'm overweight and had ankle surgery 3 years ago. My joints can't handle it.

Plus, by May/June it's too stinking hot to walk for a long time during the day, so the gym will be a good option then.

[NewLeaf]

Mine is a combination of above. I will leave dc with a facility or person whom I have screened and felt comfortable with, if they are comfortable, after a certain age with the requirement that they come get me if the child is crying.

This has only happened so far since ds was born when I go to the gym. I actually chose my gym based on their childcare and tried several times to go but ended up having to wait until ds was around 6 or 7 months before he was okay with staying there. Dd has ZERO anxiety about new places usually so she always thinks it's big fun.

At home my parents or dh usually watch dc.

[Shiloh]

I leave my DD at the gym childcare all the time. She cries for a few minutes and then has a decent, if not good, time. It is such a mental health issue for me to be able to exercise and get a little bit of "me time." The workers are nice -- there's a older gentleman who works there and she likes him the best because he'll read the same book over and over to her. Bless his heart.

I did quit my membership earlier in the year because she was having a horrible separation anxiety phase. It was, unfortunately, in the middle of winter with terrible weather for exercising outside. I almost lost it, mentally. I get so depressed when I'm not physically active.

Now, we're back in the game and things are going well. She definitely has more fun when it's quiet at the childcare, and less when there's 30 other kids, so I TRY to go at slow times.

Also, a word of caution: be diligent about washing both of your hands well before leaving. Spend 3-4 minutes scrubbing away at the sink. My DD and I caught a nasty cold and the gym childcare is the most likely source. It set me back a week in my fitness :(

[mommy2abigail]

With Abby, I wasn't comfortable leaving her with anyone other than my mom or dh until she was 3. I felt that, at that age, she was able to communicate well enough to me if anything happened, or if she did not like it. At 3.5 she started going to the nursery at our very small, very gentle church. She loves it.

Now with E, who is 2, I would leave her if Abby was there too. However, E isn't ready yet, so I haven't left her yet. I did try twice, once at the gym and once at church and she cried so I went back in and got her. (I was waiting outside the door) I am not comfortable with her crying for longer than a few minutes (2-3) and definitely not the panic-type crying. I am planning on trying again soon with the Y, but if she's not ready, she's not ready. As much as I want and need time for myself, I couldn't enjoy it knowing she is upset.

[passthemanna]

I've been leaving my 1 1/2 year old DS in the church nursery (very small church- usually only 2-4 kids there at a time) for well over a year now. Just recently I started leaving him in the toddler room at the YMCA for 1-2 hours most weekdays. He really seems to like it.:rockon and it helps me sooooo much to be able to work out and get a little "break" (for lack of a better word) When I work every other saturday he stays w/DH.

[Heather Micaela]

I do not use child care with strangers for my littles. Though my big ones have played at Ikea.

Usually at church we try from time to time to see if they are comfortable. By 2 we nudge them a bit more to go in. (This is usually because there is a new baby on the scene). And the workers are to come to us right away if they are crying.