how do you define AP?

[raining_kisses]

If someone were to ask you "whats attachment parenting?", how would you answer? It's hard for me to define it in a couple of sentences, and I want to be ready to answer when I get asked....

[Hermana Linda]

You might find this post helpful. Attachment Parenting & Natural Parenting (http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/showthread.php?t=115165) :heart

[BarefootBetsy]

For me AP means:

Paying close attention to my child's cues so I can appropriately take care of her needs (as opposed to *wants*).

Staying with my new babies as much as possible, during the first year or two especially, because that's how I'm able to follow their cues and ensure that their needs are met before they're able to effectively communicate with other people by using words.

Not doing anything to hurt my children (circumcision, ear piercing, etc) without an extremely good reason.

And very importantly:

Keeping tabs on my own mood and needs (especially eating frequently because my blood sugar drops easily) so I can deal gently and effectively with my children discipline-wise.


I'm not sure which of those I'd say if asked, but I'd try to get all four in there because those are the most important things to me. I don't think that AP is as much a list of things you do, like co-sleeping, baby-wearing, etc, as much as it is a mindset.

Here we go! Most of those in a sentence:

Making sure that everyone's needs are met promptly, including mine, and that I'm modeling good behavior while gently guiding my children to behave well and protecting them from unnecessary pain.

I would love to be able to achieve the bolded every day!

[raining_kisses]

thanks for moving it, i wasnt sure where to post.

hermana linda- thats great information. i know all that stuff, i just wanted to know what people said to people. i doubt i could get someone to sit still long enough for me to share all that great info! :D

barefoot betsy- thats a great definition! thanks

[Johns_Gal]

Succintly, doing unto others as you'd have done to you.

[Hermana Linda]

:think There are so many ways. I guess I would just say, "meeting my babies needs." I hate to imply that other people do not. :think But they often don't. :shifty

[April G]

I define it as being present and tuned in to my child emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually...

[Karen]

I define it as doing what is best for the family, the entire family. That isn't just parents or just children, but everyone.

[raining_kisses]

they are all great but i really like this one:

I define it as being present and tuned in to my child emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually...

thanks for the replies!

[canadiyank]

I would define as what's different from mainstream parenting b/c that's what I think makes it unique. For our family that's meant co-sleeping, breastfeeding-on-cue, no-CIO, gentle discipline, and babywearing. I hate to make a "list" of AP-ness, b/c I really don't think that way, but that's how I would define it to someone who's unfamiliar with the ideas - what our family personally does and doesn't do.

[raining_kisses]

thats what ive been saying so far, the actuall things you usually do with AP, but im going to add in some of the things the other posters said...

[mommy2abigail]

Treating my child as Jesus has treated me. :heart

[Jenny]

Knowing my children as individuals, and responding to their needs sensitively and promptly. The specifics of how this looks change as they grow, but the core of it-- individuality, sensitivity, and responsiveness-- remains.

[Codi]

I agree with April....but someone who is not AP could say that too. :shrug

So I agree with Canadiyank and I think that the "Baby B's" Dr.Sears outlines is what "defines" AP.

[April G]

Yeah... if I am giving the long explanation, I add that I do exclusive breastfeeding, child led weaning, co-sleeping, baby wearing, taking baby everywhere with me for the first couple of years, child led potty training, gentle non-punitive discipline, etc, etc...

[sweetpeasmommy]

I think of it more as a relationship that changes and grows over time than any set of things you do.

[Jenny]

If I'm giving a short explanation, I'll say something like I posted before. I've noticed that introducing AP as being about individual relationships, sensitivity, and responsiveness tends to draw people in and get them more interested than if I start out by making a list of things that AP parents do. KWIM?

[raining_kisses]

If I'm giving a short explanation, I'll say something like I posted before. I've noticed that introducing AP as being about individual relationships, sensitivity, and responsiveness tends to draw people in and get them more interested than if I start out by making a list of things that AP parents do. KWIM?
that makes sense...

thanks for all the replies...they are all great answers!:D

[jenny_islander]

Parenting that treats the clingy, demanding behaviors of early childhood as signs of legitimate needs of the child. Parenting that does not begin with the premises that children must be broken to their place (punitive) or that parenting is something that takes time away from your REAL life (mainstream). Parenting that ignores what the neighbors think or might think and focuses on the needs of the child. Parenting that uses the tight attachment of the early years to build a foundation of confidence and security from which children can grow to explore their larger world.

[raining_kisses]

Parenting that treats the clingy, demanding behaviors of early childhood as signs of legitimate needs of the child. Parenting that does not begin with the premises that children must be broken to their place (punitive) or that parenting is something that takes time away from your REAL life (mainstream). Parenting that ignores what the neighbors think or might think and focuses on the needs of the child. Parenting that uses the tight attachment of the early years to build a foundation of confidence and security from which children can grow to explore their larger world.

LOVE LOVE LOVE this one. thanks!