Before you had kids, did you think you would AP?

[Aerynne]

When in your life did you figure out you would AP?

I did a lot of research online during pg w/ my first and figured on cloth diapering, EC, EBF (exclusive or extended? yes.), natural childbirth, homebirth, babywearing, co-sleeping, and homeschooling.

I remember, though, at the age of 22 (about 9 months before I got married), seeing a woman nursing a 10-month-old and thinking he looked big for nursing. When I thought about it I knew he should still be nursing at 10 months, but I certainly would have thought 2 was too old at that point in my life.

I was raised with gentle discipline so that was always the plan my whole life.

[Elora]

some aspects, yes. i didn't know about babywearing, but we were all attached to my mom's hip, co-slept, and were breastfed into toddlerhood

[Barefoot Bookworm]

Yep! It's always been the plan.

[Leslie_JJKs_mom]

AP yes even though I did not know it had a name. GD no.

[Rabbit]

Yes! I didn't know it had a name. And I didn't know how far I would go. But I kept notes about what I would do when I had kids, starting when I was old enough to write notes. I lost all of those notes, but I remember the moments when I discovered baby wearing, cloth diapering, breastfeeding, and more.

[Victorious]

No! I remember clearly; I was babysitting for my boss and as she was leading me up the stairs to the computer (I did store book-keeping while the baby slept) she said, "When you have babies there is this awesome program called 'Growing Kids God's Way' ". I was so intrigued by the title (and her near perfect toddler****) that I kept that peace of info in my mind for when I had kids.

I ttc for nearly 2 years and found multiple online forums while researching fertility treatments. It was in several of these communities that I found AP. Later, I tried to find "Growing Kid's God's Way" via google and found lots of info about the dangers.

I still read babywise but never really embraced it. The night we had dd home dh said, "We can't just put her away!" and we kept her with us :heart the rest is history!

*****The near perfect toddler I now see as almost dangerously un-attatched. The first night I ever baby sat her, she was asleep when I got there. She woke up around 11:30 (had never seen me before) I went in, picked her up, she "talked" to me, laid her head on my shoulder and went back to sleep. :jawdrop I thought that was a good thing then :doh

[HomeWithMyBabies]

I don't consider that list to be exclusively AP. Some of those things I was interested in before I became a parent, like I always assumed I'd breastfeed. Other stuff wasn't even on my radar until my second ds was on his way.

[Waterlogged]

No, I didn't. And I still don't...except that in many ways, I do. :) In fact, I thought the one AP family I knew was crazy. And there's still a part of me that bristles at the idea of co-sleeping...:bag

I didn't realize how committed I was to gentle, grace-based discipline until I got together with a group of moms who spent a lot of time talking about spanking. And with grace-based discipline and gentle parenting comes a commitment to building a strong attachment with your child.

I don't entirely know what I'll do with our next one, but I'm planning on BFing, CDing and BWing. I don't see myself co-sleeping, but that's because I'm on strong drugs for my BP which knock me out to a point where safety would be an issue.

[brandi]

No. I didn't even know what it was and never heard of it. When I was pregant with DS1, I was given a ton of well meaning, but really awful advice. I am so thankful that DS1 was a high needs baby, or else I never would have found AP or GCM. If I wanted to sleep, DS needed to be in bed with us. I literally could not put him down, he was always held. I was poor, so I breastfed. I am so glad that he was not an easy baby. I missed out on a lot of enjoyment that I could have had with him in the early months, but I relaxed and stopped listening to advice :shrug3 and we formed a very close attatchment.

[butterflyqueen71]

I never even *heard* of AP before I had dd. :shifty I had no clue what kind of parent I wanted to be...I just knew it was time to be a mother. I discovered AP by accident, actually. When I was pg, someone told me about Babywise, and I didn't know any better. :shrug3 I think someone let me borrow it or something, I can't remember. Someone else gave me a copy of "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" for a shower gift, and I fell in love with that book. :heart I just loved the way the mother/child relationship was described, and the nursing relationship. Before I read that book, I was going to nurse only to save money on formula. :shifty After I read that book, my heart totally changed.

I don't remember what all happened, but I began messing around online and found some disturbing things about Babywise (I think I was a member over at iVillage, one of the birth clubs, that's it!)...it did seem very different from TWAOBF. One thing led to another...Dr. Sears, babywearing, co-sleeping...things that were not even on my radar or even in my thinking at all...I was a clean slate...and I eventually ended up here, and a whole new world opened up to me!!!!! :heart

In short, the Lord led me to it. :) I'm not crunchy, and I don't even know how "AP" I actually am, but I do lean more towards that philosophy of parenting more than anything else out there.

[Pragmatist]

My mom went to LLL, breastfed, coslept with me, did babywearing, so that was always my plan. I knew I didn't want to spank, but didn't understand gentle discipline until I found GCM.:heart

[saturnfire16]

I knew I wanted to breastfeed, because my mom had breastfed me and I had seen my sister nurse her then 4 kids. I thought I would nurse for 1 year, then at a year I couldn't imagine stopping so I thought I'd go to 2. I tried weaning her a couple times, then got pregnant, started tandem nursing, then at some point I decided to just do child-led weaning.

I also knew about co-sleeping because my sister did it (though I don't think she ever called it that, it seemed like it was more out of necessity because they had small house), and I knew my mom had me in a moses basket right by her bed when I was a baby. But I bought a crib before dd1 was born with the intention of using it. Then when we brought her home after I had been sleeping with her in the hospital for a few nights, I just didn't see any reason to put her in it. She was sleeping great on my chest and it made nursing so easy!

Same with babywearing- my mom and sister did it. My sister had an ergo and my mom used a homemade front pack with me that she gave me when I was pregnant. :heart But I knew nothing about slings and wraps until I was pregnant with dd2.

ETA: oh, and I knew about homebirth because I was born at home and all my sister's kids were too. I planned a birthing center birth, but ended up with a c-section at the hospital because dd was breech. But #2 was a home birth!

[nazmommy]

No! I was sure I would just have to let her CIO at some point and had a lot of "tough love" attitudes. I knew I would BF and be an EBF'er b/c my mom was with my brother and I.
As soon as she came out and we took our dd home, it all changed. CIO went out the window and she slept with us for the first two months. We gradually worked her into sleeping in her crib and I followed some of the sleep training techniques of the Baby Whisperer (although I will probably do things different with my second one, B.Whisperer taught me a lot about babies).
She is 16 months old now and still breastfeeding.
As for discipline, I have always been super sensitive to spanking (I'd cry when my brother was spanked) but figured I would have to do it for the sake of sparing the rod, spoil the child. But, as I continue on this journey of mothering, I am becoming more and more anti-spanking. I am so excited about this website b/c I am learning positive and effective ways to discipline a toddler with out hand-smacking or spanking!
I have gotten a lot of well-meant horrible advice from fellow church members and friends - and still do. When I closed the books and let Jesus lead us, things got way better! I hope to do that from day one, if we are blessed with more children!
I am growing more and more confident in our parenting choice, b/c I know that Jesus is leading. Praise Him for His grace b/c we are far from perfect!

[erinee]

Before Zach, no. I didn't know things like co-sleeping, extending nursing, cloth diapering, and baby wearing were even done. It just wouldn't have occurred to me. I did plan to breastfeed and was heart-broken to give it up. I did end up co-sleeping while I was trying to breastfeed. And I ended up getting a Snugli when he was very high needs and wouldn't be put down, so I wore him a little bit. I certainly was very much against spanking before ever becoming a parent.

When Zach was an infant, I started learning about those things, and I found parenting messageboards which exposed me to more. So before Megan was born, I already knew I was going to practice attachment parenting whole-hog with her. Although Zach wasn't exactly AP'd, I think he assumes he was parented the way his baby sister was. :heart

[relizabeth]

I didn't know what AP was--advanced placement? 8 months pregnant I went online looking for a Boppy cover pattern to sew, found a cloth diaper site, found MDC, found GCM. Happily ever after.

[Herbwifemama]

Yeah. It started in high school, when I got into the nontoxic/crunchy lifestyle, and also discovered unassisted/waterbirth. And I fell into AP stuff from there (anyone remember Mango Mama?), and decided I'd do it all as natural and gentle as I could. :) And I've done my best to live up to that.

[mommychem]

No, I did not know it existed nor had I seen it growing up even though I helped with my sisters who are 10 and 14 years younger than me, as well as younger cousins. The majority of them do not have good lives right now.:( My mom breastfed my youngest sister for six weeks though I can't remember ever seeing her do it.

The earliest memory I have of seeing kids as anything other than a burden was when my college roommate worked at a day care center and would talk about holding the babies and loving on them. She also started talking about breastfeeding and being a SAHM.

Around the same time, I noticed a pregnant lady at church who had baby on her hip and 3 in tow. Long story short, she has been my mentor for the last 8 years as she told me she held her babies, carried them everywhere, that you can't spoil a baby, breastfed all six past a year, co-slept, etc.

To seal the deal, my husband told me shortly after our dd was born that "we will never have a reason to raise our hand to our children." The rest is HIStory (actually, it's all been HIStory)!:heart

[KatieMae]

My evolution into AP went like this:

I always knew I would breastfeed my babies, so when I got pregnant, I bought a book from LLL. That book told me that you have a better chance of successful breastfeeding if mama & baby aren't drugged during labor. Okay, well, I can do natural childbirth - it's the "natural" way afterall, so I should be able to do it. I sought out training for this & mt choices were hospital classes, which seemed to talk a lot about your drug options, or Bradley. So I called a Bradley instructor and we took the class. That led us into all sorts of AP discussions (and the instructor & I really clicked and we're now good friends and she & her husband are godparents to our two boys!) She gave me a copy of "Mothering" magazine. I subscribed to that & started reading that message board a little & I was very active on the "diaperpin" message board too. From there, I was led to GCM and it's all happily ever after since then :gcm

So, in short, I didn't know there was anything besides the typical mainstream method. I thought the extent of your options was 'breast or bottle' :lol

[WanderingJuniper]

I didn't have time to have a plan. :shifty However, I did find out later that my instincts and my upbringing naturally led me to AP and GBD. I always disliked strollers (read embarrassing experience as a teen in NYC with a stroller.) I had always planned on wearing my children as long as possible. I loved the idea of CD but it wasn't practical for me during my first two children. Punitive discipline always felt wrong in my heart. I was raised by GBD. Nursing was the plan from the get go but was really hard for me. I have more I want to say but have to run.

[BriansLovie]

I had never heard of AP before I got pregnant w/ ds1. During his later part of his 1st year, I felt lead to a gentle parenting style.

[Wishing Well]

I did know because of my own research. Since I knew I wanted to breastfeed, that knowledge and interest led naturally into some information on AP, like co-sleeping and its benefits, and from there other aspects. I did a lot more research once I got pregnant. :)

[AngelaVA]

No. I didn't even know what it was and never heard of it. When I was pregant with DS1, I was given a ton of well meaning, but really awful advice. I am so thankful that DS1 was a high needs baby, or else I never would have found AP or GCM. If I wanted to sleep, DS needed to be in bed with us. I literally could not put him down, he was always held. I was poor, so I breastfed. I am so glad that he was not an easy baby. I missed out on a lot of enjoyment that I could have had with him in the early months, but I relaxed and stopped listening to advice :shrug3 and we formed a very close attatchment.

This is about the same as me. I always thought slings and stuff were cool when I saw them in public but the best thing I could find was a baby bjorn. I really wanted to breastfeed but everyone I knew had tried it and failed. I wish I would have found GCM or AP while I was pregnant, it would have made things a lot easier.

[curlymopmom]

Nope. I didn't know what it was. I knew I would breastfeed for one year, but probably wean at that point. Then I gave birth to this extremely demanding baby girl. I didn't sleep the first few nights, trying to get her to sleep in her bassinet was impossible. Then I fell asleep with her on my chest and I got SO much sleep! I started researching and came across Dr Sears. That has all led to being a gentle parent, non-punitive... :heart

[cbmk4]

Never knew what AP was until recently. Unofficially co-slept when the kids were nursing infants (if you count a bassinet right next to me with the baby spending untold hours actually in my bed to nurse). Never liked the idea of spanking, though I'd be lying to say that the kids had never gotten one. Nowadays, we are working hard at gentle discipline. I never liked slings and neither did my babies. We did use (gasp) a baby Bjorn very extensively. Cloth diapers--no way.

Other than prefering organic food and unprocessed foods whenever possible and trying hard to exemplify grace and balance for my children, I'm about as mainstream as you can get.

---------- Post added at 12:26 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:07 PM ----------

Well, on second thought, I bet some people would not consider me as mainstream. I guess it's all a matter of degree.:)

[missionaryinukraine]

some parts i knew and planned beforehand like cosleeping and cue feeding. gentle discipline i learned about later.

[mamaKristin]

I did :yes

When we were pregnant with our oldest, a friend started telling me all about this "amazing program, Babywise". Since I had serious reservations about a lot of the things this friend recommended, especially her and her DH's spiritual discernment, I was glad that I had stumbled upon a Dr. Sears book a few months before we got pregnant.

[UltraMother]

I had already knew and planned on homebirth, and was going to try breastfeeding, but only for year, since that was what my mom did. I didn't know anything about babywearing or co-sleeping until I was pg with my first.

[Forsynthianicki]

I didn't really know what AP was but I am raising my son the way that I knew I would. I was raised by parents that practiced many aspects of AP, so it was just natural.

[LadybugSam]

Not really. I never thought much about raising children other than "maybe someday i might have children"

And then we were pregnant :giggle I was pretty crunchy mainly for cost benefits, and i started frequenting cloth diapering boards when i was pregnant where i met a lot of AP moms. I loved the way they spoke of their kids. They seemed to really LIKE their children.

GD, not so much. I joined this board because a really awesome friend of mine was on it. I liked that moms here seemed to have different solutions for every problem and recognized that no one thing will work on every child. The whole non-punitive thing took a while though :)

[amyhntr2]

No. My Bradley instructor gave us a cd With hundreds of articles she'd collected over the years. One of the folders on the disc was "ap parenting". I had no idea what ap meant so off to google I went. Low and behold GCM popped up and I was hooked! After that we changed all of our plans found a midwife and had a beautiful intimate homebirth. I am so thankful for the courage I've found here to follow my intuition!

[MaybeGracie]

Other than breastfeeding and natural birthing, which were just givens to me for some reason, I had no plans to AP. I thought that most of society's problems could be solved if parents would just spank their kids more. :bag I had no plans to use cloth diapers, to co-sleep, to babywear, to delay solids and extend nursing, to use gentle discipline, to homebirth, etc. It was only because someone mentioned on my (very mainstream) birth board when I was pregnant with DS1 that they were going to babywear that I ended up researching more into natural living and attachment parenting. I will be eternally grateful to that person. :heart

[mama-hobbit]

I never even gave a thought to NOT breastfeeding, cloth diapering, shared sleep, natural childbirth and other more natural parenting practices. Though my parents were anything but gentle, I grew up reading books like "Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth" and I remember helping change my little bro's cloth diapers... so yea, I always planned to be AP. I got more interested during my first pregnancy, and by the time Kater was born (um... exactly, to the minute, 10 years ago!) I was hardcore AP.

[kwisie]

Nope. Not a bit. I knew we would be pretty gentle parents - DH had already convinced me of that, although before I met him, I thought spanking was the only reasonable discipline method. When DD1 was born, a friend gave me a copy of Dr. Sears' The Baby Book. I was just about to put it away after reading the first page that said something about attachment parenting. Somewhere in all my very punitive background, obviously someone (or many someones) had mentioned attachment parenting derisively, because I had a very negative reaction to the term, even though I had no clue what it even meant. I kept reading out of curiosity, though, and a lot of it stuck. With DD1, I was just mildly AP, and with each successive child, I've become more AP.

[abh5e8]

i first heard the term "AP" while preg with dd early on and did TONS of researc, so by the time she was born, i knew :)

my mom was big on breastfeeding...but only till 11 mo. so i knew that was a for sure. but the rest...sleep training, punitive parenting and such...i was raised with all that and assumed i would do the same with my kids, without giving it much thought. :(

[sweetpeasmommy]

I didn't hear of AP until DS was 3. By then it was pretty much what I was doing...after I did everything wrong first. Even if I had heard of it, I probably would have rejected it because having a child was not going to inconvenience my life at. all. :haha

[3PeasInAPod]

I didn't know what AP was until my 7-8month in pg & was reading a DrSears book. It seemed like the natural thing to do anyway. I think I would've been AP whether i knew it or not though. Especially with the CIO-I hate to hear a crying babe (when no one's responding)

[Katie Sue]

I was the last person who I thought would be AP. I knew a gal that did it and I thought she was a kook! THEN, I had my first dd and tried to be a scheduler-type. I left her in the nursery at church amidst her screams, I let her cry it out. I am, frankly, horrified at myself. After a few months of that I brought her to bed, started wearing her, and avoided leaving her because it was so traumatic for her. I was (and am) AP all the way with my other dds, as well as with my oldest.

To me, I just follow my gut with how to parent, and it turns out my gut is really into attachment parenting. I'm so glad!

[JenLovie]

Prior to pregnancy I really didn't think much about how I would parent. Once I got pregnant I ended up on Mothering which started to help me shape my thoughts about nursing, cding and baby wearing. I joined here shortly after DS was born. We were already APing, but GCM helped me learn about GBD. DS isn't 12 months yet, but what I've learned has been helpful setting the groundwork for what we will do in the future.

[Vicki_T]

I planned to breastfeed, and I wanted a homebirth with dd1 (that was more because I hate hospitals than anything else), but other than that, I expected to be pretty mainstream. I only knew a couple of people with babies before I became pg, and they followed a routine that is well-known in the UK (Babywise and the other books I read about on here are not really known over here). I read the book, it all seemed to make sense (why get your baby used to sleeping in a sling and not in her cot? What's wrong with 'letting' a baby cry for 5-10 minutes so she learns to fall asleep? Why shouldn't you and dh get baby-free time in the evening?) so I planned to follow it.

Well.... dd1 had other ideas. She needed to be in arms a lot, she didn't fall asleep at all easily, or stay asleep for any length of time, and I couldn't bear to listen to her cry. I tried to follow the schedule but it always would fall apart by lunchtime, and I felt like a terrible mother. I did breastfeed though (though all those scheduled feedings didn't do my milk supply much good - when we ditched the schedule I ended up feeding every 2 hours, day and night, for months). That led to co-sleeping, and I got a sling because dd1 hated sitting in her stroller. So, little by little, I got led to AP :tu And I've got crunchier as time has gone on - the co-sleeping and babywearing were initially for convenience, but now I can really see their benefits.

[mommy2abigail]

Sadly no. I was brainwashed from my church to believe Reb Bradleys style of parenting (similar to Pearl/Tripp). Ironically, before THAT I worked in a daycare that was for neglected/abused children, and it was VERY AP. We read and listed to Becky Bailey and Barbara Coloroso as a staff. :rockon

I'm SO grateful that in my last month of pregnancy, we had a birth class at our birth center and I was attacked for saying we were going to Babywise our kid. Even though I was upset during the class, it made me go home and research. One of the mama's in the class prior to ours came in with her baby in a Moby and just raved about it to us, so I researched that and ordered one. That lead me to Mothering and then to GCM. God got a hold of me just before I had Abby, and even though I struggled (and still do daily) with the punitive mindset I was taught. I'm thankful for His intervention every day. :heart

[mom2g2b]

My dh and I took a NFP class hoping to conceive. That's where I learned about AP. Also, I always wanted to nurse my babies. It seemed wrong to stick my baby in another room when I brought her home. She had some breathing problems at first so she was always with us once home.

[Shiloh]

I always planned to AP. It seemed completely natural to me. I've been really sad about how some of it has turned out (co-sleeping, for example, did not work out for us). And, of course, my DD is super high needs and clingy and has sleep problems so now everyone blames my parenting. Sometimes I blame my parenting too. I'll never know how she would have been if I had done things differently. I suspect she'll still turn out alright in the end, but this first 14 months has been a real challenge.

The truth is, if I ever am so blessed as to have another baby, I'll do it all over again (minus letting the child nurse to sleep!!). I can't imagine doing it any other way. :shrug3

[ChristinaL]

I knew that I would breastfeed for as long as possible and I was very determined to have a natural birth.

I majored in Anthropology in college and one of my professors was good friends with James Mckenna who has done a lot of the primary research on cosleeping (one of my good friends actually ended up getting her masters on cosleeping and worked with him) I remember my prof talking about the research and being really intrigued by it- and thinking at the time it made so much sense from a anthropological and spiritual perspective. Fast forward to when my daughter was born- we had bought a crib, etc for our daughter but from day one I couldn't put her down- and she slept so well in my arms- that is where she stayed.

I always knew I would practice gentle discipline and not spank.

[EmergingMummy]

What a great thread! I've so enjoyed reading all of your stories and histories.

Personally, my mother was considered a real radical because she was a "crazy lactivist" back in the 70s. :giggle She nursed me until I was 14 months and my sister until she was 15 months. that was unheard of in her community. She never had pain meds and delivered naturally in the hospital. She also cloth diapered and hardly ever spanked (she spanked me a couple of times but never my sister). She was/is an excellent parent, also exposing us to a lot of her opinions about birth, breastfeeding and parenting. I was convinced I would parent just like her even though I didn't know it was called AP.

Then I had my children and, as I am more the reader/researcher in our family, started to read about parenting, starting with Dr. Sears. It was funny to me to read all of my mother's ideas (which I now believe she was lead by the Holy Spirit since she never read a book) in there! I expanded our AP tendencies into baby wearing and cosleeping which my sister also practices now. I was never drawn to the "training" aspects of parenting books. I remember when my husband was a pastor at a church in the USA; almost all of the parents there were Pearl-types and I just physically recoiled from that.

I stumbled into gentle discipline. The one drawback with my family was that my mother was a huge yeller (still is) and whenever she gets excited, let alone angry, shrieks at the TOP OF HER VOICE. :lol I just hate it and withdraw anytime someone starts to yell. So I was stuck. It was the only way I knew how to discipline! So I started to figure out with my oldest how to discipline without yelling or striking on my own. Then found all of the gentle discipline world that existed (like this fantastic community here!) and voila! It's been nice to realise I'm not alone or crazy plus find so many great ideas and resources.

[movinforward]

Wow, great thread. I like what EmergingMummy said about her mom being led by the Holy Spirit. I have never thought of it, but likely that is what happened for me. I knew I would breastfeed (I am a dietitian and my first job was at WIC where my boss was very, very pro-breastfeeding). Then, when I became pregnant I started reading every pregnancy/breastfeeding/parenting book I could get my hands on. Because of my fear of needles, I wanted a natural childbirth. Reading natural childbirth books led me to more AP stuff. After my 2nd DS was born, I stumbled across GCM. Thinking back, I really do not know how I found this site, but it has been wonderful and a God-send. Still working on my DH - he maintains the punitive mindset, but is slowly coming around. :)

[cyndib]

Absolutely not. I planned on breastfeeding (as a cheap-nutritive feeding option), cloth diapering (b/c it was cheaper) and natural childbirth, but that co-sleeping/ baby-wearing thing?!? That was only for hippie-freaks. Now I am one. :-)
I knew a mom that I respected a lot who used babywise scheduling and ted tripp discipline, so thought I would too....then DD#1 arrived. Very high needs, would NOT sleep on her own, couldn't even put her down. The only way both of us could get sleep, was for her to snuggle next to me in bed. I'd heard the name "Dr. Sears" and knew he advocated co-sleeping, so googled his name figuring if co-sleeping worked well, the 'what else does this guy have to say?', found AP, and well, here I am. All the AP ideals were easy for me to accept and embrace with a high-needs baby, but it took me awhile to embrace gentle discipline. I was raised with and around the idea of 'if you don't spank kids, they'll be brats'...but I've pretty much figured out now, that's not true.
It's been a journey, and I still have much to learn, but AP has definitely changed our home for the better. :-)

[Maggirayne]

I planned on having a natural birth and breastfeeding for as long as I can remember. DH's cousin gave me copies of Sears' The Baby Book and The Pregnancy Book. She also wrote down MDC and/or I found MDC thru seeing a BFing mom on the cover and picked up the magazine. I read the Continuum Concept on my parents' recommendation. I really liked the idea of EC. I figured baby would sleep with us for a few months.

I did find out about vax dangers and not circumcising while pg and was like no way to both.

Ironically, both these occurred when I was first pg, my mom asked if I wanted her cloth diapers she had for me, which I broke out, so she didn't use, and I said "no way, poop in the washer?" And DH asked if I wanted a homebirth, and I said, "uhhh, you have babies at the hospital. . ."

I do remember in college thinking inductions seemed like a bad thing, just the thought of disrupting the normal hormonal processes of birth having later consequences on the mother's health.

I was very anti-spanking as a child, wrote an essay on "A Good Mother would. . ." (listen an not spank are all I remember. My mom didn't take it well--I was homeschooled. :giggle

[Dana Joy]

I didn't know what it was called, but I always knew I would breastfeed, sleep together, respond to cries, keep babes in arms, and discipline without hitting or shaming.

[Sunbeam]

we've always practiced the family bed and babywearing. The rest has been a process. I find what works with one child won't necessarily work with the next.

Now GD is newer to me. I wish I'd known about it 15 yrs ago :(

~Suzie

[keepinghome]

When I was in high school my family knew a LLL leader and my sisters and I always :jawdrop to hear she was still BFing her toddler or co-sleeping with her 4 year old. But my mom did BFed my youngest sister until she was 2.5 :rockon. My 2 sisters and I always shared a room and I remember my mom nursing my youngest sister before bed :heart I was only 5 or 6 at the time though.

When I was engaged, I was surfing the internet and came across a really adorable diaper cover. I thought it was just something cute you put over disposables :giggle. So I googled something about diaper covers and then got hooked on cloth diapers... which led to home birth and GD (all in one sitting). I remember telling my family over lunch that day that I was going to have homebirths and not spank my kids. :heart They thought I was crazy... they've come around now though :yes

[ReedleBeetle]

I knew I wanted to CD and BF. Learned about BW while in the process to adopt our son and also learned about the benefits of CS, especially for adoptees and so we decided to do that. GD I didn't discover until he was about 18 months old and OH how I wish I knew about it sooner! We didn't wind up CD for long, and I wound up BF far longer than I had planned. :heart

---------- Post added 03-24-2010 at 12:06 AM ---------- Previous post was 03-23-2010 at 11:54 PM ----------

I didn't hear of AP until DS was 3. By then it was pretty much what I was doing...after I did everything wrong first. Even if I had heard of it, I probably would have rejected it because having a child was not going to inconvenience my life at. all. :haha

So funny because you are so good at cueing in and being attached. :)

[Sparrow]

I didn't know what AP was. I had a friend who had her babies sleep in her bed (but she is not AP) and I thought this was a horrible crazy habit. I was spanked and thought that I would also spank, because IME the kids I knew who weren't spanked were *bad*. Now I know they were parented permissively.

When Aaron was born I knew I would breast feed. I bought a snugli too, because they looked good and DH mentioned he wanted one. The night we brought him home I couldn't bear to leave him alone in his crib, so we made a little bed for him in a laundry basket. When he was 3 weeks old we visited my parents, leaving the basket behind. Their basket was too small for him so he slept next to us. :jawdrop. I was hooked.

I felt a strong bond with him immediately, and naturally looked after his needs immediately. When he was about 4 months I felt like I should be getting him to sleep better. I asked a friend of mine who was a parent educator. She recommended No-Cry Sleep Solution, and the baby book. I was relieved to find that it was OK, natural and GOOD for baby to sleep with us. I also felt encouraged to nurse for as long as he wanted.

Now the spanking thing. One night when Aaron was about 4 days old I was up with him at 3 am. He was nursing with his eyes open. I remember looking at those eyes and feeling such an intense love for him I thought I would die from the huge emotion. I started to think that someday someone would break his heart, someday he will hurt, someday someone may hit him..... and that lead me to think that I'd be the first to hit him when I spanked him. :sick How could I do that? Especially because my mom didn't just spank us, in the sense that some spank. She HIT.

I came to GCM when I googled Christians and AP because I had heard that AP was not at all Godly.

I'm so glad I found otherwise!! :D

[WanderingMom]

I had no idea what AP was until I had picked up Dr. Sears Baby Book when I was about 6 months along with dd1. It made so much sense to me.

I thought I was going to formula feed, and no baby was going to change my life, uh-uh, that kid was supposed to conform to mine.

Well, none of that ended up happening! Thank God.

[gardenfreshmama]

I had never heard of "AP" but my main focus in grad school (Marriage and Family therapy) was attachment theory (not exactly the same thing but similar ideas). From all the reading I did on Bowlby/Ainsworth, and later John Gottman :heart, I came to the conclusion that a parent can have a different relationship with their children than I had with my parents. I learned a lot about the attachment needs of children by researching experiments done on rhesus monkeys :lol

So initially my focus wasn't on the physical "acts" of attachment parenting (i.e. cosleeping, breastfeeding, etc) but rather the emotional needs of children - lots of touching, respecting opinions, never shaming, that kind of thing. I had a gut feeling I wouldn't spank but never could have told you why or any reasoning behind it. I believed spanking was biblical but was willing to turn my back on that part of the Bible for the sake of being a good parent. Which sounds so completely ridiculous now! (My dad was an abusive Bible thumper so I had absolutely no intention of being a "biblical" parent).

Anyway, through a friend I met when dd was exactly 1 week old, I came to learn about cloth diapering, co-sleeping, carseat safety, and many other "AP" things - and obviously the most important- GBD. :heart (Thanks, Linds!) I do believe that the Holy Spirit used her to introduce me to what I already knew to be true in my heart, but couldn't articulate. Now I tell as many people about AP as possible, because sometimes all it takes is just a little seed! ;)

[3boysforme]

When I was pregnant with ds1, I knew I was going to breastfeed but that was it. I had a whole nursery set up for him, and he was going to sleep in his crib from day one.
However, when he was born it all changed. I fell so hard in love with him and I could not imagine leaving him all alone in his big room. Plus, my aunt had a baby die from SIDS and I couldn't get that off my brain.
When we came home he slept in the car seat next to me, then eventually made his way to the bed.
The rest was instincts, it just felt right to wear him, nurse him, and respond to his needs. It felt primal. But I didn't know there was a name for it until ds1 was about 6 months when I saw the term AP on a diffrent message board.

The GBD has been a journey for me. It has always felt wrong to spank, and was not something I did often. I always felt overwhelmed by guilt right after, but I did not know what else to do. So my two oldest boys were spanked. Well though a strange chain of events, God led me to GCM. I was so amazed to see this board, to see people that not only believed it was wrong to spank but still believed discipline was important. I was so relieved to see that it could be done. :gcm

[Prism]

I didnt even know about AP parenting untill two years ago, and it took a while for me to realize it was actually a good thing =p

[malakoa]

Since I first heard about a tribe that practiced AP in sixth grade. I never looked back.

[ccasanova]

I didn't know I would AP until I had my first baby in my arms. With the exception of knowing I would breastfeed, DH and I had bought a bassinet, crib, stroller etc. But once he was in my arms, it just seemed so natural to AP instead. So in came the slings, and the cribs started collecting dust while we all slept warmly in the bed together. :yes

[ArmsOfLove]

Yep, I knew. My mom was an LLL Leader :tu I also knew that I would never spank and broke up with someone who decided they believed it was Biblically required. DH agreed to parent in this way before we married :tu

Years later he told me he would probably have done whatever his wife wanted, though he didn't believe in spanking. He was very grateful, though, that he had followed my lead in parenting because it blesses him to parent as we do :heart

[I Love Jesus]

I grew up in an AP family, so I always thought I would. There was a time when I was considering a high-paying career and seriously doubted my then-future husband's and my ability to put that high income aside for me to be a SAHM if/when we were blessed with kids. The thought of having to leave my future babies in day care made me very sad, and after many serious conversations, DH and I decided that it would be best to persue a different career. One of the best decisions we ever made! :yes

As for nursing... I nursed till about age 2 myself, and I thought that was an appropriate time to wean. Now, if I stopped nursing a kid at age 2 it would feel like I stopped nursing at 6 months lol! I've been nursing for over 5 years and tandem nursing for 3, sometimes with 3 nurslings at a time. :barbell2

[nazmommy]

As for nursing... I nursed till about age 2 myself, and I thought that was an appropriate time to wean. Now, if I stopped nursing a kid at age 2 it would feel like I stopped nursing at 6 months lol! I've been nursing for over 5 years and tandem nursing for 3, sometimes with 3 nurslings at a time. :barbell2

WOW!! Nursing for 5 years! 3 nurslings at a time?? lol! How does that work? I was nursed myself until I was about 3 or more. My brother until he was about 4. =) I LOVE nursing and don't have plans (and neither does my dd) anytime soon!

[MyTesoros]

I didn't know what it was called...
sounds like me! I was so happy when I discovered a vast community of people who believed what I did and a vast body of literature and research about those beliefs.

[Jillie]

I knew I would breastfeed and cloth diaper, but I never thought I would co-sleep or not CIO. I just assumed that's how everyone did it. When I was pregnant, I began doing research on some cloth diaper forums, which is where I discovered more information about AP. I still didn't really consider it until my son was here, and I decided that it just didn't feel right to let him scream for hours on end.

[Jenn2627]

No. In fact, a year or so before I got pregnant I was given To Train Up A Child to read and thought it sounded fantastic. :blush I also distinctly remember encouraging a friend of mine to let her baby cry it out at 6 months old (I later apologized for that, after I had my daughter and knew I would never let a baby cry it out).

I stumbled upon The Baby Book by Dr. Sears when pregnant and loved it. Slowly I read more and more and we ended up babywearing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding till 2.5 and now I'm learning about gentle discipline.

So glad I didn't end up doing things the way I thought I would!

[aussiemum79]

When in your life did you figure out you would AP?
.

When DD1 was about 2mths old!

I remember attending a meeting of the local breastfeeding support group when DD1 was 6 weeks old and there were toddlers feeding - you could have knocked me down with a feather :D, these mothers also baby-wore and talked about co-sleeping!!

When I left that meeting I wasn't sure if I would be back but the genuine way that they welcomed me and the very obvious way that their children responded to them kept playing through my mind. That group was my lifeline when I continued to b/f past 6mths, started co-sleeping, feed during pregnancy ...

It was challenging as my SIL and I were the only ones with kids at our church and she was quite into Ezzo's parenting beliefs. I think as I've had more children I've become a little more outspoken and upfront about my parenting beliefs just so the other new mothers can see their options. My other SIL is very much into attachment parenting, I thought she'd follow in her sisters footsteps but she's mentioned that she loves the way my kids and I relate to each other and she wants that with her daughter:heart

[nazmommy]

Aussie Mom -
That's really great that you were able to be such a positive influence on your SIL! WTG!
Also, what a blessing that your support group was so warm and friendly! Praise the Lord!
I love that you have gotten outspoken too. It is all about letting people know their options and know that its okay to follow your mommy heart and do AP!

[4MKfam]

Reply to OP question:
Nope :no
Because I already knew everything from watching everybody else. :snooty


:shifty :bag :giggle And then I gave birth. And suddenly :shifty ...I didn't know ANYthing :eek. :lol And that kind of unknowing was the best thing that happened to me as a mother :).

[nazmommy]

4MKfam - I can TOTALLY relate! That's is how I was COMPLETELY!
Praise the Lord that He got a hold of me when I knew the least! =)

[Lin]

Before I had kids, I watched my brother and his wife raise a baby. And then another, and another.....I determined very early on that there was something seriously wrong with crying it out, although I didn't know what it was called then. I tried to ask questions and express concern, and I was told flat-out that it was none of my business and to keep my mouth shut.

I practiced AP with DD#1 before I knew what AP was. I didn't run across Dr. Sears's books until after DD#2 (which is baby #3) was born, and by that time I was already convinced. I cried and cried, reading Dr. Sears's High Needs Child books because I did everything "right" without even knowing it. I did what I felt was right despite all the people who told me otherwise.

[mommychem]

Before I had kids, I watched my brother and his wife raise a baby. And then another, and another.....I determined very early on that there was something seriously wrong with crying it out, although I didn't know what it was called then. I tried to ask questions and express concern, and I was told flat-out that it was none of my business and to keep my mouth shut.

I practiced AP with DD#1 before I knew what AP was. I didn't run across Dr. Sears's books until after DD#2 (which is baby #3) was born, and by that time I was already convinced. I cried and cried, reading Dr. Sears's High Needs Child books because I did everything "right" without even knowing it. I did what I felt was right despite all the people who told me otherwise.
That is so awesome!:rockon