I don't want my children to be happy

[AngelaVA]

One of Augustmama and I's mutual Face Book friends had this up. I don't know this lady or follow her blog or know if she is gentle or not but I thought she made some good points. Not everything is quite the way I would word it but still I found it thought provoking. It is about how she responded to people criticizing her decision to adopt based on her ability to pay for her current 3 kids future college tuition.

http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-dont-want-my-children-to-be-happy.html

[WildOlive]

do most people really pay their kids' college bills??? Hope my kids aren't expecting that.

I agree with so much of what she wrote. and if someone had the audacity to make those kinds of comments to me about our adoption i'd have a hard time restraining my tongue.

[mommylove]

Is there a tears at the keyboard emoticon?

What a great post. What a great attitude. I have no doubt that her sweet kids will get it, too.

[Maggirayne]

Good grief, by the mindset that you *only* have kids that you can pay for college, they it would be difficult for *anyone* to have kids. That's such an absurd reason not to have a large family.

And I do agree and love her premise that her job is not to make her kids happy.

[ThreeKids]

I get it, but, see, I don't need to be so cerebral about it. We got out of that obligation for dd during one of her moods where she says "no" to everything. We're off the hook for her wedding, too. It's all mutual.

We'll have to catch ds in a tired moment.

I do get to hear from some people about how severely we should limit family size because of all the things we have to do for the kids. This comes from people whose idea of all the things we HAVE to do being beyond extravagant. Sorry, but a $1.29 worth of sprinkles goes a long way w/ my kids. If that's weird or not as cool as new toys, oh well.

[FlyingBlueKiwi]

Interesting blog. Some things I agree with, some things I don't.

While it's certainly reasonable to expect a child to contribute to their college costs, I would hate to tell my child "ok, you did great in school all these years and got into Yale/Georgetown/whatever, but now you can't go unless you saddle yourself with massive debt." Providing for a substantial part of college costs is something very important to dh and me. While we would like a second child (although we are unlikely to have another due to my health issues), we never would have tried to have more than two or three because we don't see how we could have afforded to give them a solid start in adult life (and we consider a college education a very basic part of a solid start - both dh and I have advanced degrees).

That doesn't mean we don't want them to be content or holy . . .

[nanookmama]

I certainly don't see my job as that of making my children happy. Certainly not.

Though with any luck, either DH or I (or both of us!) will be employed at universities and our kids can attend for free! I do believe that's the direction God's taking us, and if that's the case, then our kids are welcome to go to the university where they'll have free tuition, or pay to go somewhere else. Their choice.

Both DH and I have had to be VERY resourceful about paying for our educations, and I have no doubt that our kiddos will be resourceful about the things they truly want as well.

And if I raise kids that are content and focused on God, I will stand with my head held high for that.

[jandjmommy]

My MIL's mantra is "I just want my kids to be happy." And she raised 3 very materialistic and (ironically) depressed sons. Of course it's great to see your kids happy, but I want them to be good (or "holy" as the blogger noted).

[arctic oak]

I loved this woman's philosophy- it made me think not just about my kids 'happiness' and holiness but my own. How much do I live for holiness instead of happiness? How much do I let go of seeking financial security and go for the longer lasting treasures of heaven? How often do I take risks for the kingdom of God? And people don't need college degrees to be a witness for Christ and to change the world for Him- but the holy example a mother can set- well, that's a different story!

[Joyful Mommy]

Wow; thanks for sharing this!

[coranne]

Great article- thanks for sharing!

[Dandelion]

:rockonthanks:) I need to change my own thinking to *I don't want to make myself happy.*:shifty

[ValiantJoy07]

Beautiful!:heart In the USA we live in a soceity that has forgotten what this country was founded on...So many expect every one to do things for us, that that will make life perfect- we will be happy. It's a lie. This country was built on people who were worked hard and were self educated. We are told the lie the only way to have a good life and be happy is to go to college and find a good career. Is that really what the Bible says life is about? :no Our job as the salt and light of the earth is to do what God calls us as induviduals to. To think outside the box and ask HIM- thats where happiness (more over contentmnent) is.
For some, that does mean college- and if that's what God wants for my children HE will provide for them. Perhaps He will use the parents to help, but I think it's important that if my children really want some thing they invest their own money in it. We're not planning our family, we have a number we'd like to have at least (4) but we're open to less, or a lot more if God sends them- He'll provide. :heart
ETA: DH and I may not look "successful" in the worlds eyes, we're poor as dirt at the moment- we don't have much savings in our bank account and niether of us have degrees. But we love to learn, we are passionate about the things God has put on our hearts and we are excited about where HE is going to take us in life- isn't that really what is important in life? What will a college degree and a nice house get us when we our standing before God at our lives end??

not much.
Also those things aren't evil, but if they are our goal in life?? I loved this blog post thank you for sharing! :heart