What do you do about dangerous things?

[MrsHutch]

Sorry, I'm posting from super slow internet and don't have time to surf the archives, because I'm sure this has been covered.

We have a gas stove and ds (13 months) has discovered the knobs and ignite button. This is obviously dangerous. He goes after them what feels like a billion times a day, and a billion times a day we say no and redirect. Is there something else we can or should do?

Honestly, even though we don't believe it's right, we are tempted to slap his hand. It just feels so passive (not to mention exhausting and frustrating) to constantly be chasing him to the stove and redirecting and then trying to distract him while he has a little tantrum over not getting to do what he wanted.

And just a bit about our situation, our kitchen and living room are together in the same small room, and that's the only place we have to spend all of our indoor time. The stove is smack in the middle of the room, only about 4 feet from the couch (it's literally stove, trash can, small fridge, couch, end table, wall). There are no babyproofing things here to buy.

So what do we do? Are we doomed to be stuck in a rut of redirecting and tantrums?

I probably won't be back online until Friday, I look forward to your help! Thanks in advance! :heart

[Bonnie]

Do the knobs come off? We keep ours in a mug at the back of the counter.

:hug

I know it's hard. If it helps, I can tell you the smacking of hands sometimes brings the opposite of the desired results. :shifty

[brandi]

I would pull the knobs off.

[Marzipan]

Yeah. Do the knobs come off? Our knobs have been off now for 2 years--I keep them on the counter out of reach in a little ceramic bowl. We have the same situation-- livingroom/kitchen is all one (small) room.

[KatieMae]

You can also buy a stove guard. Let me find one for you...

I had this stove guard (http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=29&cmSource=Search) ("had" b/c I don't need it anymore so I tossed it - the adhesive won't re-attach)
And here are some for knobs (http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=536353&cmSource=Search)

[ReedleBeetle]

Could someone ship you the things you needed to child proof it? I agree that if the knos come off...that is the easiest thing to do.

[Marrae]

Could someone post you a stove guard? Or, can you turn the gas off somewhere so until the stove needs to be used.

[joyinthejourney]

A truly startled look & tone of voice, while also holding his hand firmly might work. That's what I do with my little ones. He trusts you. If you look & sound like it's dangerous, he will believe you. You can also use words like "No!" & "Dangerous!" Repetition is the name of the game with littles, no matter what the approach, as frustrating as it may be. But, research shows that repetition is what cements pathways in the brain, so that helps me to remember. Like clearing a path in a forest. That's why consistency is so important. Smacking a hand only teaches, "Don't do this when I'm around, or I'll smack you." Then he will try it when you're not around. Not very effective in teaching the reason not to touch. HTH!

[Six Little Feet]

I used : "Danger" said quickly, firmly, and a bit loud. I scoop her up as fast as I can and scoot her away fast. Now she stays away from the stove.

[raining_kisses]

what ever you do don't smack the hand. i read somewhere thats how they explore, and if you smack the hand it could give them a complex. even experts that say you should spank say not to do it on the hand, do it on the diaper. (not saying you should spank, just saying definitley dont do it on the hand)

[Katigre]

DD is the same age as your DS and we have a few things in the house that are not safe for her that can't be child-proofed.

Having been through this with DS a few years ago gives me perspective that the redirection and hard work now will pay off in the long run.

Is there any way to gate off the stove or block it with a table/furniture? That might help a little.

Otherwise you will have to be consistent with "Stop! Dangerous!" and pick him up and move him away. Just like doing that doesn't work instantly, slapping his hand will not work instantly. Pain is not a deterrent to curiosity for more active kids.

DD loves to climb - she climbs on everything. She also falls down and cries from the hurt dozens of times a day - this continued for at least six weeks of her climbing and falling dozens of times a day. If behaviorism would have worked ('if you slap their hands/spank them then the pain will train them to not do it again'), she would have quit within just a few tries. But she didn't - she's naturally curious and determined - and her strong personality means she keeps at things she wants to know about. She's probably fallen and cried over a hundred times in the past two months and it just trained her to be a better faller, not to stop altogether ;).

BUT - with things in our house that it is not ok for her to get, she's learning to stop when I tell her to stop but it takes my being there to physically help redirect her. It's actually really neat to see how she's learning to put things down that she's not supposed to have when I remind her. She's learning the boundaries of ok/not ok. But she's so little, that what progress in this area looks like at 13 months is very different than what it looks like for a 4 year old (or 8 year old, or adult).

It will drive you nuts as a parent, but consistency will pay off in the long run :yes.

[MaybeGracie]

A truly startled look & tone of voice, while also holding his hand firmly might work. That's what I do with my little ones. He trusts you. If you look & sound like it's dangerous, he will believe you. You can also use words like "No!" & "Dangerous!" Repetition is the name of the game with littles, no matter what the approach, as frustrating as it may be.

:yes I said, "Woah! Jacob! Dangerous! Ouch!" when he got near the stove, with big eyes and a startled tone of voice, then scooped him up and moved him away. It was a different tone than I would use if I was just telling him not to touch something. He seemed to accept that and didn't persist in returning to the stove/fireplace/etc.

[scbusf]

I try to save the word NO for dangerous things.

My sister had a stove guard for her gas stove. I think she got it from Amazon.

[Naked Camper]

I do the same startled expression and loud voice of concern "ouch, dangerous. Very hot." and scoop them away. It's hard when you can't do much child proofing. Eventually my kids have gone up to the stove and pointed at it (from a distance) and say "hot" themselves.

Now if I could convince Corban that pulling cords out of the electrical outlet is not safe :doh

[klpmommy]

:hugheart

It sounds like he has decided this is a game for him. P did that at the same age with different things. He liked the fact that he could get me to react to him. Slapping hands did *not* work at all. I couldn't slap hard enough to make it effective. :( I tried so many things, what ended up working is me having no reaction to what he was doing. However, that wasn't with the knobs on a stove which would be far more dangerous than what he was doing.

First, if I could remove the knobs, I would. You probably can for cleaning purposes. Then what I would try to do is as soon as he goes for the stove, preferably before he can actually get to it, grab him & go play with him something else. At that age my kids all loved crashing block towers. So it isn't so much as just redirecting, but realizing what he is trying to do & finding another way to do that. When I redirect to something that isn't interactive, esp when they just want my attention, it never works.

[Herbwifemama]

You can also teach "hot" by holding his hand above the burner, and letting him feel the heat when it's on. Use simple words: "Ouch! Hot! Danger!", dd got it pretty quickly when I let her sense the heat. (Obviously not close enough to burn. ;))

[illinoismommy]

Smacking his hand won't make him stop..... only age does that. Last summer my 3rd was your child's age. Do you know what he did all summer long? Walk in front of the swing.... over and over and over. I tried to prevent it, but he got knocked over plenty of times. It didn't stop him. Neither would hand smacking. All you have as true weapons is a proper amount of alertness combined with your ability to make the environment as safe as possible... until he grows just that tiny amount of wisdom to truly stay away.... and it will happen if you do not give up or take it personally. If you are stuck in a rut where he returns, returns, returns... get yourself an adventure. He's mainly bored. Take him outside or something.

[nazmommy]

Redirection can be long and tideous but hang in there! You can make it!
Just remember that you are molding him for life, the gentle way. Galations 6:9 "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."
I like what illinoismommy said about going for an adventure. Great idea!
Having said that, you may not always be able to do that. Try to find things that distract and hold attention.
Try to redirect without a whole lot of interaction. Say your "no no honey, you can't play with this, its dangerous". But try to not engage him too much when he goes for the stove. If he keeps it up, which it sounds like he does, you may need to sit down with him for a bit until his attention has gone somewhere else, this may save on the constantly picking him up and moving him.
Keep up the good work!

[Rabbit]

Our knobs are in a candy dish on my counter, along with the dishwasher and dryer knob.

[mountainash]

A truly startled look & tone of voice, while also holding his hand firmly might work.

Benji really needed me to take his hands in mine and make eye-contact. He's a very visual learner so simply hearing me say something and then distracting him wasn't getting through to him.

What about getting a kitchen set or a toy with knobs? That might give him an appropriate way to explore that mechanism.

[relizabeth]

When ds started this at about the same age as your ds I put a baby gate up so he couldn't even get in the kitchen. It's still up 8 months later. If that isn't an option, there are shields you can attach to the front of your stove to keep him from being able to touch the knobs.

[MrsHutch]

Thanks for all of the suggestions. The knobs really don't come off, which is silly. And ours is gas with an igniter button too. :doh

You know, I do notice him doing it sometimes when he just wants my attention or is bored. :think

Thanks for the encouragement that slapping hands doesn't work. :) I guess we'll just keep on with what we're doing and try to redirect better. Sometimes it's hard though, like when I'm cooking, I just kind of give him a gentle push in the direction of his toys and he boomerangs right back to me and the oven.

[Rabbit]

He might do well with some special toys he can only use when you're cooking. Like playdough. Things you kinda need to supervise, and that he finds enthralling. Simon loved to play in the sink with the water running while I'm working in the kitchen.

[Katigre]

Can you put him in a high chair or baby carrier during those times?

[joystrength]

Can you rig up some kind of "keep him away from the knobs" contraption? Tape? Cardboard, etc?



Other ideas:

Can you CONTAIN him or wear him while you are cooking (obviously, in a back carry)? High chair? Putting him in a small bin with a tiny amount of water in the bottom right in the same room? I used to just pour some water on the tray of the high chair and let 'em SPLASH while I whipped up dinner!:giggle:giggle

I'd also do as much food prep (chopping, mixing, etc) as you can during naps or while DH is there, so your actual "cooking" time is shortened.

It's really a stage. It sounds trite when you are RIGHT in the middle of it, mama! :hugheart It's hard.

What about some fascinating non-baby "toys" only for cooking times?

-- old cell phones or calculators, etc
-- a lid and a wooden spoon :shifty:shifty
-- tape/a scarf/ -- with CLOSE supervision
-- keys or beans in a plastic water/soda bottle with the lid tapped closed?

:pray4

[joyinthejourney]

My kids also have cabinets they are allowed to play in: plasticware & pots/pans. They are also facinated anytime I hand them a large utensil, like a soup ladle, potato masher, wire wisk, etc. Constant no, combined with "but here's what you CAN do, really helps. When it's just too much for me to concentrate on cooking, play doh or other high chair distractions work well. Let them sample the food. Make it sing time, singing them silly songs while they sit in the high chair beside you & watch what you're doing.