Being grace-based in a world that is the polar opposite?

[Ms_Dahl]

How do you deal with situations where your child is treated in a way that completely opposes the way you parent like in a class situation or with a trusted family member? I mean, eventually our children will have to go out into a world that is mostly opposed to grace based living. Do you seek to shelter your child from such situations or do you use those opportunities as teachable moments to help your child learn to cope with those who may do things differently?

[Chaos Coordinator]

right now my son is very young - 12.5 mos, so for the most part i shelter him. my mom well lets just say her style is different from mine and so as much as she pesters me about wanting to babysit i am and will be hesitant to let her (except in dire circumstances) until i see her treat him more like a human being and less like a naughty puppy.

that being said, i have left him with friends who have young babies even though our parenting styles may differ, they know how i am and they respect it. they treat my son with respect even if they view it as coddling. and i have left him in the church nursery because i am in the same building.

i used to leave him in the daycare at the gym while i was there, but the girl running it asked me repeatedly to cover up while i was nursing because *gasp* there were children watching. i reported it to HER boss that 1. it was illegal and 2. it made me extremely uncomfortable. then i quit going to the gym :shifty

[raining_kisses]

im curiose about this too...:popcorn

[hey mommy]

I use them as teachable moments. Not everything can and will be grace-based when he's an adult, so I use them to teach him. I don't seek them out, but they arise, I can teach him how to handle them.

[HomeyT]

yes my MIL has said some things that I just shake my head at. Right now, DD doesn't really catch it herself. But I know in time she'll see a difference between the things mommy and daddy say/treat her and how grandma does. In the end it'll be a hinderance between her and her granddaughter. It's nothing huge, if it was, I think I'd probably not leave her alone with grandma very often if at all.

[mokamoto]

:popcorn

[MuseMama]

I haven't really had too much of an issue with this. I've homeschooled and had my children in school. They've been around us and family members. Everywhere they've been there were/are consequences for behavior, just like at home. That can be both positive and negative, depending on the choices of the child.

Not everyone does things exactly as I would, but that's been a good opportunity to teach about fairness, and how to interact with the world. Does that make sense?

[sweetpeasmommy]

I am the bridge between my child and the less grace filled world. My job is to show him grace in hopes that he will practice it for himself. At younger ages we need to protect them from that. At older ages we still need to protect them, but not keep them in a bubble. Use the moments to teach them and still give them a grace filled home to fall back on.

With a family member, I set his boundaries for him and teach him to do it for himself. I don't allow anyone to shame him. I wouldn't put him in a class situation that opposes the way I parent.