To what age would you allow opposite gender siblings room share?

[Calliope]

We may be moving into a two bedroom residence and don't plan on finding out the gender of this baby in advance. There is a good chance that they will be room sharing, same gender or not, possibly until the oldest is 7 or 8.

At what age do you think opposite gender siblings absolutely need seperate rooms?

[abh5e8]

:cup

[cindergretta]

I don't worry about it until they exhibit discomfort or one of them reaches puberty. It is a matter of privacy and if someone honestly is needing privacy, it doesn't matter the age, kwim?

My oldest two shared a room until they were 6 & 8. Then we happened to move into a 3 bedroom. So it was no longer an issue, kwim?

:hug

[klpmommy]

It should be fine. IMO. P&E want to share a room again and if we ever finish her bed they will for about a year, so P will be 8 & E 7. IMO, unless they are showing discomfort, asking for privacy, etc, up until tween/pre-puberty I'd be okay with it.

[abh5e8]

that is very reasonable. now, trying to get dh to see it that way...at least dd is 3 and ds is only 1...so we have some time.

[sweetpeasmommy]

I would try to have them in their own rooms by the time the oldest is 5. :shifty Obviously that can't always happen, but since you asked.

[mamacat]

Having BTDT I wouldnt much worry about it until that above 8 age.That is when they hit that tween age and usually start needing more privacy.....

[Kiara.I]

You know, you do what you have to.

I grew up in a 2-bedroom apartment. My brother was 7 years younger than me.

So, he stayed in my parents room until he was 4, I think. Then he had to move into my room. I was 11. But really, what other options did we have? So, the dressers moved into the middle of the room to form a dividing "wall". Mine faced my half of the room, his faced his half. We had semi-privacy. I didn't like it, but it wasn't that bad.

We had that for about 5 years. Then my school organized an exchange to another province; we'd go there for a week, then they'd come visit us for a week. At that point (age 15) I organized finding another place to live and really pushed my parents to make the move, so that at least I would have my own bedroom!

The main thing was that I felt I couldn't mention it to anyone, because it's "not okay" so really the problem wasn't with us, but with the culture around us that says same gender can't share rooms. Whole families share one-room houses all over the world...

[gerberadaisy]

My brother and I shared a room until I was about 8 and he was 7.

If I needed to do that, which we might have to if we have more than two kids in this house, I'd put up a curtain for privacy. You could always do take a "girly" fabric and "boyish" fabric, sew them together and they can each have their own decor to the best of your ability. If they wanted less privacy, they could always open the curtain. I'd probably do a curtain with two girls or two boys because at one time I also shared a room with my sister. I much preferred sharing with my brother.

[mamahammer]

Mine all share a room (DS 6.5, DD 4, DD 2) - and it's not because they have to :shrug We have three bedrooms - the girls could be in one and our son could be in one - but they want to be with each other and dislike being alone. Until they are uncomfortable/wanting privacy, I don't see anything wrong with room-sharing :)

[swimming with sharks]

Dd is a month out from being five :jawdrop and she and 2 yo ds share the same room and they :heart it. They each have their own bed. They've already started talking about how they can have bunk beds when the baby (who isn't born yet :giggle) is big enough to move out of our room and in with them. They found the bunk beds at pottery barn with the double/queen on the bottom and the single at the bottom and the 5 yo (who still comes in and snuggles for a good portion of the night with us, more nights than not) was ALL over it, about how if the baby's a girl then they could have the bottom 'big' bed and Budge could have the smaller bed on the top and vice versa. We have 3 bedrooms but we have a first floor master. When dd was ready for her own bed/own room, we decided that it was not ok to put her upstairs alone and us downstairs....I KNOW I would have NEVER slept. Fire, breakins, etc etc :sick So we moved out room upstairs. There's only two bedrooms up there so we're making it work. :shrug3

[2sunshines]

I agree that you do what you have to do. We all know that in historical America, and in many other countries of the world, entire families (and sometimes even entire extended families) sleep in the same room. :shrug3

If privacy is the issue, there are way to provide a child privacy without walls. You can hang curtains, put up separaters, etc. It just takes a little creativity. ;)

But as to your specific question, the "possibly 7 or 8" wouldn't concern me at all.

[Heather Micaela]

Something I posted from elswhere
I don't think (except for foster situations) there is a limit. There may be a time when the kids do not WANT that. And if you have the means to change it you can:shrug3 But as long as the need for privacy and time alone are being met, sleeping in the same room does not have to be an issue



I did a few more google searches and several sites said the same thing - that there is no legal rule for bio families. And because we have no choice, I have researched this quite a bit.



I wanted to say that while my circumstances make it necessary, I really am of the belief that this is a modern issue based on the western view of what is "proper". It used to be very common for children and even adults to share one big sleeping space. And in other societies it is STILL done.

It is habit here to keep doors OPEN in our home unless someone is changing. Because I would rather not even have my kids PLAYING behind a shut door - appropriateness aside, they just get into more trouble.

So we are up and there are 3-4 kids in the room and we can hear them. We do not go to sleep until they do. This IMO is no less safe than two different rooms. Because a child could also go into another child's room after they were asleep just as easily.

[Sparrow]

My mom shared a room with her brother til she was 8, he's 4 years younger. The only reason why she got her own room was that they moved, and she's the only girl in 5 kids, and in the middle

[tiffany]

My littles are opposite gender and share a room. :) I hope they will continue to do so for a few more years. I think there is a time when genders should not be mixed, but that's about the time of puberty setting in.

[ValiantJoy07]

DH's family had all 5 kids in the master bedroom when he was growining up... They ranged age 10-3 The boys had bunk beds (DH - the oldest) had his own bed off in the corner) on one side of the room and the girls had a bunk bed on the other. It worked great and they were all together which they loved. As far as privacy goes that's what the bathroom is for- you get changed in there if you want privacy.:shrug3 Beds are for sleeping.

Granted when puberty hits I think that it's MORE appropriate to have the sexes seperated but some times that's just not possible and you do what you can to make every one comfortable (in their case they were able to split every one up by the time DH was around 12).