The No Cry Sleep Solution Graduates!! Advice needed!

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Ok ladies.

I am at a breaking point and we are hitting the NCSS HARD CORE!!

I am looking for your stories, what worked, what didn't work. What would you have done differently? How are you doing now?

And my question at the moment is- what did you do to differentiate between naps and nighttime sleep? She keeps talking about having different routines and cues but I need some ideas.

So I am looking for your help.

I know this is going to be a long process and it definitely is not an overnight fix but I'm desperate.

Our end goal (3ish months) is to at least have her sleeping in her crib. I'm not looking for a 12 hour sleep through the night or anything, but I do desire her to sleep in her crib (for naps and nighttime) and at least sleep a 5ish hour stretch (right now she's waking every 1.5-2 hours).

Thoughts?

[ValiantJoy07]

:hug2#1 thing I wish I had done differently? Read "Night Time Parenting" By Dr Sears first. :heart
It changed mine and DH's whole view of night time! The things that stressed me out I realized were partly due to pressure I felt from people and culteral expectations.

I was dessssssperate at 5months with dd1. I mean she was never a great sleeper, but at 5 months I was losing my mind with sleep deprivation, she wouldn't sleep with out being near me. I felt like she didn't sleep well in bed with us, and I felt guilty for having her in bed with us...Even though I liked the idea of cosleeping I still felt deep down that babies should have their own space to sleep.

I did the logs for 10 weeks, I worked like crazy at our sleep plan- and though we did have some success in some areas (the pentley pull of really did shorten the length of nursing sessions) I truely think the only thing that really helped was TIME. Giving her time to work through all the milestones and things that were going on....But also relaxing my expectations, big time!

At 10 months we read Night time parenting....WOW so encouraging!!!! I relaxed, I stopped trying to push dd into what I thought she needed to be doing or how I felt we all should be sleeping. DH and I got a bedrail and put the crib side carred to our bed (just to give extra room, she didn't sleep in there) and brought our girly full time into our bed. THe first week was a rough adjustment and then BAM! She started sleeping so much better... We loved waking up to find her snuggled up in DH's armpit or with her feet on one of us and her head snuggled on the other... We loved the extra touch time with and we realized that as we relaxed she did too, as we stopped worrying and trusting our instincts (that we would be aware of her in our bed) she seemed less anxius at night.

I'm not sharing this to shoot down NCSS, and I know co-sleeping full time truely isn't for every family...And it IS easier to relax with an older baby than a younger one- by 8 months dd was VERY aware of the edge of the bed and knew how to climb down safely for example. THe NCSS has a lot of great advice, but I think it can really really frustrate parents of high needs babies, instead of helping htem embrace the sleeping arrangment that will get every one the best sleep. DOes that make sense? Either way I hope you can get some more rest soon, I know how excrutiatingly exhausting it is when you have a baby who just.won't.sleep. dd was up every 30-45 minutes in the wee hours of hte morning for weeeks and weeeeks nad weeks and I think some of it was because she was waking up alone and anxious about it.
Now co-sleeping full time with dd2 (who is admittedly so far a slightly more laid back person) it is just so peaceful! We found our night time harmony and are enjoying being relaxed... I'm sure as milestones start coming we'll face some challenges, but at this point I never imagined the newborn days could be so restful. Sorry for the book.:heart

ETA: I really hope it doens't sound like I"m trying to discourage you from NCSS- like I said we found some of the stuff in there very helpful! But just wanted to share my expeirence with the book and our journey into finding more sleep. Wanted to add at 11 or 12 mos dd started sleeping 5-7hour stretches by 13mos we had moved her into a twin bed next to ours and she was sleeping 11-12 hour stretches from being put down for the night to waking in the morning!...I contribute some of that for sure to the ideas in NCSS...But i contribute even more of it to finding what her real night time needs were, and meeting them in a way that got everyone the best and most sleep..It definitely didn't look the way I thought it would, but I started getting sleep so I didn't care and it turned out to be the better way in the end- I feel like I really fully bonded with my HN's intense girly at that point.

[mamacat]

I agree with Hannah Joys post wholeheartedly BUT if your baby happens to be one of the few (I only had 1 out of 5) who really does want their own sleeping space I would try things from both NCSS & Happiest Baby on the Block(movement, white noise,darkened room etc.) our grand daughter went from restless & fussy all night & day to sleeping 5hrs a night as a younger infant to 12 hrs a night as an older infant/toddler & taking naps during the day once they figured out the things that worked for her. Your baby is older so you cant do the swaddling now.And they never ever let her cry at night either during the process.I left this on another post but please do try using a scent-free/dye free laundry detergent.Some high needs babies are sensitive to those things as well as flame retardent chemicals in bedding & jammies

---------- Post added at 03:53 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:50 PM ----------

I wanted to add that all of my babes slept with me but the one & our grandson has always either slept with his parents or in a sidecar twin right next to them now that he is older - so I am a huge co-sleeping fan.But some babes are more sensitive until they get older to movement & noises other people are making in the bed.I would 1st try co-sleeping with the white noise & darker room

[DoulaClara]

:hug2

Two things did work for us from NCSS, and they were 1) the "toning down" stuff and 2) the simple, restful, consistent night time routine. I have saved a few copies of my logs that I tried to do, and it's slightly funny now to see how my writing would get crazier and on a downslide through the night. Unfunny at the time, to be sure.

But starting about a half an hour before we would start the bedtime routine, it did work for us to turn off/down the lights in the house, tone our voices way down, and turn off (or way down) the TV. It took about a quadrillion applications, but she gets it now that after bath, after a clean diaper and sleepy badger balm massaged into her face and chest, after quiet stories with Daddy, and prayers, we turn on her fan, turn on her quiet music, and it's time for sleep. It helps tremendously that she has the "bedtime state of mind" at that time, and she doesn't fight it (unless she just can't sleep). I also try to not talk (or if I do, very short sentences, very quietly) while getting her to sleep.

And then that was about it. She occasionally will STTN, but not often. I had to be rigorous about avoiding caffeine after lunch while still nursing her, or I would pay dearly. :heart I know it's so hard right now. I was/am a very dangerous person when sleep deprived, and the feeling was the worst.

[14yrslater]

If it makes you feel better - my little guy is 10 months and he wakes up every 1.5-2 hours through the night too. Longest stretch is 3 hours. I did the exact same thing with him (and even more with white noise, darkened room, bedtime routines) as I did with my dd and my dd started SSTN around 6 months (and I did no white noise, darkened room, and no bedtime routines or even same time to go to bed!). I think every baby is different and when they are ready - they'll STTN. I know this is not encouraging when you are sleep deprived!! :hugheart

[Sunshine]

What works is the PPO...Sometimes. I'm glad that I have that tool though even if my Sophia's mood is different from day to day. Expectations. Plain and simple, that's what I'd change. I kept listening to people telling me that I have a problem because Sophia wakes every hour but as I began to do research I found it was more normal all across the world. What a relief! Yeah, I'd like her to sleep longer and rarely she does, but all-in-all it feels good to know I don't have to really stress over it. HTH

[illinoismommy]

Candice, it is okay to recognize the nearing of your breaking point and that changing the sleep pattern will help you. I think that is wisdom itself.

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Candice, it is okay to recognize the nearing of your breaking point and that changing the sleep pattern will help you. I think that is wisdom itself.

You are so right Janet.

I was talking to my friend yesterday and I told her that I was so caught up in doing the "AP" thing (going down the list of "AP" things like co sleeping, baby wearing,etc) that I completely forgot and overlooked the MAIN principal of AParenting- following HER cues and tuning into HER needs. In doing so, I got so caught up in being a good co-sleeping/AP Mama that I didn't realize that she had been telling me, for about 2 months now, that she was no longer thriving in our bed.

I moved her to the crib and it's like night and day. She sleeps longer stretches, her daytime mood is like way better AND her naps have improved as well.

[14yrslater]

That is so awesome to hear! Some babies need their space to sleep and its obvious that your lo needs that!