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View Full Version : Stood up for myself today


thrillofhope
08-06-2009, 07:16 PM
Sorry this is a long story but I really need to brag on myself a little. :)

Today I was waiting for my class to start and we were all talking (it's all women). There's only one other mom in the class (her baby is one). Someone was saying she was not a morning person and I said "Well, I wasn't a morning person til Doodlebug was born." The other mom nodded and rolled her eyes and I said, "Oh no, not because she cries or anything. She's so sweet and she pets my arm and coos to wake me up." :dohNow normally I would not bring up cosleeping with people I'm not close with. I wasn't thinking I guess, because to me it's so natural that I forget other people don't sleep with their babies too. :shrug3

So someone said, "Where does she sleep?" And I knew what I had gotten myself into. I said, "In bed with me." And the other mom said, "Oh NO honey! (with this snooty attitude) That is a BAD habit that you need to break right now." And I said, "No. I'm a cosleeping attachment parent. I've researched it and decided." So the girl keeps berating me about it and telling everyone else that her son is one and sleeps in his own room and how he sleeps through thunderstorms and everything. It made me sad because her son is probably scared of the storms but what good would it do to cry? :( She just kept going and going about my sex life and how Doodlebug would be in my bed forever if I didn't kick her out now... blah blah blah. And then the TEACHER chimed in and said, "I agree with her." Grr... it's not her job to express her opinion! This is the same teacher who said, "Oh yeah, I don't remember you because you just want to stay home and make babies.":mad I just said, "Well, we have decided that the benefits outweigh the risks." And she looked at me just like this: :hunh

So I sat in class crying and getting madder and madder. My husband keeps telling me I need to stand up for myself more and so I decided I would. After class I waited for the girl and told her, "You really hurt my feelings before class. I don't think that it's fair for you to judge my parenting like that. You looked at me like I was crazy for cosleeping, but the fact is, I think that it's crazy to have your child sleeping in his own room so young. So please don't judge other parents because what works for your family is not what works for mine."

Anyway, I'm really proud of myself because I stood up for myself and Doodlebug with dignity and self-respect, without just keeping it to myself or spouting off and castigating her. Yay me! Now if only I could say something to the teacher...

Jeanette598
08-06-2009, 07:33 PM
Good for you! :clap

MarynMunchkins
08-06-2009, 07:34 PM
:tu Good job!

Zipporah
08-06-2009, 09:36 PM
:rockon

Serendipity
08-06-2009, 09:40 PM
I'm truly proud of you!!

:hug2:clap

Abibigail
08-06-2009, 09:56 PM
Wow, great job! :tu

JenLovie
08-07-2009, 04:21 AM
Awesome! I hope you are able to talk to your teacher as well.

Yuliana
08-07-2009, 04:51 AM
Woohoo
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Radosny Matka
08-07-2009, 05:09 AM
:rockon

thrillofhope
08-07-2009, 07:38 AM
Awesome! I hope you are able to talk to your teacher as well.


I wish. This is my LAST class before I graduate so I definitely have to pass it. Not sure how the teacher would react, so I would at least have to wait until my grades were turned in. It makes me so :mad that she feels the need to insult my homemaking and my parenting on a regular basis. She's a nice lady, just a raging feminist who thinks I need to get off my butt and go back to work (and apparently now that I need to kick my baby out of bed). Grr...

MTmomma
08-07-2009, 08:54 AM
WTG!!!!

racheepoo
08-07-2009, 09:43 AM
:rockon Good job!

April G
08-07-2009, 09:48 AM
Just remember... they are projecting their insecurities onto you. It has nothing to do with you as a person. It's THEIR ISSUE. I'm so proud of the way you stood up for yourself. I have really been working on speaking up for myself because I usually wuss out and then flog myself mentally for being such a wuss. :doh You're doing great!

Oh, and FTR, my ds naturally started wanting to sleep alone when he started weaning, and slept/sleeps 12 hours straight through the night since he weaned at 2.5 years old. So they are wrong. :shrug

Cat
08-07-2009, 10:14 AM
I wish. This is my LAST class before I graduate so I definitely have to pass it. Not sure how the teacher would react, so I would at least have to wait until my grades were turned in. It makes me so :mad that she feels the need to insult my homemaking and my parenting on a regular basis. She's a nice lady, just a raging feminist who thinks I need to get off my butt and go back to work (and apparently now that I need to kick my baby out of bed). Grr...

I'm a feminist and your teacher sounds like an idiot to me. A true feminist is supportive of all women's choices, whether that's working or staying home and having babies. I'm sorry you have to listen to people like that. :hugheart

You should be proud of yourself! :heart

tigerlily
08-07-2009, 10:20 AM
I'm so proud of the way you stood up for yourself. I have really been working on speaking up for myself because I usually wuss out and then flog myself mentally for being such a wuss.
me too.:O

But YOU did great!:rockon

allisonintx
08-07-2009, 10:23 AM
I spent the first few years of my mothering reminding my mothers feminist friends that what they were really fighting for was not my right to work and make equal pay, but my right to decide what I wanted to do, myself.

Every time I put it that way, they shut right up.

mountainash
08-07-2009, 10:52 AM
Oh, and FTR, my ds naturally started wanting to sleep alone when he started weaning, and slept/sleeps 12 hours straight through the night since he weaned at 2.5 years old. So they are wrong. :shrug

Same here. If she doesn't want me to nurse her to sleep, she says, "Night Mama!" and starts waving goodbye. The first couple times she did this I stood there kind of shocked and watched her roll over to go to sleep. She does even better when her Daddy tucks her in.

Good for you for standing up for yourself!! :rockon

thrillofhope
08-07-2009, 12:53 PM
I'm a feminist and your teacher sounds like an idiot to me. A true feminist is supportive of all women's choices, whether that's working or staying home and having babies. I'm sorry you have to listen to people like that. :hugheart

You should be proud of yourself! :heart

I'm the same way. I think I have a right to stay home just the same as other women have the right to work. You know the type though. The "feminist" type who really believes that I'm wasting my right to work by staying home and "ruining" feminism. It's all a bunch of baloney, but I have to put up with it til I graduate.

Cat
08-07-2009, 01:17 PM
I'm the same way. I think I have a right to stay home just the same as other women have the right to work. You know the type though. The "feminist" type who really believes that I'm wasting my right to work by staying home and "ruining" feminism. It's all a bunch of baloney, but I have to put up with it til I graduate.

Yeah, and after college and working for years, I can't wait to stay home with my baby! :heart

zak
08-07-2009, 01:32 PM
:rockon

Maggie
08-07-2009, 01:32 PM
You did great! :rockon Good for you! :D

How did she respond to what you said? Just curious.

thrillofhope
08-07-2009, 04:13 PM
You did great! :rockon Good for you! :D

How did she respond to what you said? Just curious.
She was really sweet about it and said she was sorry she hurt my feelings and that she was not judging my parenting. She did say though that she was "just really against babies sleeping with their parents." Is that something you can really be against?

3PeasInAPod
08-07-2009, 04:20 PM
:heart Good job!

There are times I definately bite my tongue in situations like that, but sometimes I just feel compelled to respond & I feel good when I do!

Castle On A Cloud
08-13-2009, 02:40 PM
Good for you!! And since when did it become okay to talk about other peoples sex life like that:jawdrop

veggiegirl
08-13-2009, 02:47 PM
Good for you! I was once (before becoming a parent) not into co-sleeping. And now I am a co-sleeping parent. I think it was all those people that spoke up about how it worked for them that helped me change my mind.

lizziebits
08-13-2009, 06:01 PM
You are so brave! I'm so not into confrontation, so I'm especially impressed.

pastelsummer
08-13-2009, 06:13 PM
good job

bliss
08-13-2009, 11:50 PM
Dude, you rock! What you said was very mature and Christ-like.
And Allisonintx, that is 100% spot on. (From the raging feminist who co-slept ;) )

Learnin'2B
08-14-2009, 12:20 AM
Dude, you rock! What you said was very mature and Christ-like.
And Allisonintx, that is 100% spot on. (From the raging feminist who co-slept ;) )

Absolutely! :)


Anyway, I'm really proud of myself because I stood up for myself and Doodlebug with dignity and self-respect, without just keeping it to myself or spouting off and castigating her.

I just had to say I read this as "castrating her". :lol But that's just me and how I would react and have to control myself is someone had been so rude and judgmental toward me on such a personal matter.

I think you did great! :tu

14yrslater
08-15-2009, 07:40 AM
Good for you for standing up for yourself! :dance

She did say though that she was "just really against babies sleeping with their parents." Is that something you can really be against?

I agree with April M. That mom is projecting her issue on you. She probably feels guilty for not being there for her baby at night! Or - she never received nighttime parenting herself and is justifying why she cannot provide it for her child now.

Sundance
08-20-2009, 04:23 PM
Wonderful! I love hearing stories like this!!

I'm also the type that doesn't usually say much, but wish I could...hearing about stuff like this gives me courage!!

Thanks

-Melanie

mwwr
08-20-2009, 04:31 PM
Good for you!