I think...

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

I'm done co-sleeping...

*no rotten tomatoes please*

It's been 7.5 months and I'm exhausted. DH is exhausted and Isabella is so on the move that I'm terrified of her rolling out of the bed (despite the fact that we've taken all necessary co-sleeping precautions). I woke up this morning and she had wiggled herself waaaay under the coveres (and I don't even sleep with coveres! They were just over my feet and she wiggled all the way down there :eek)

My goal was the first year but, I just don't think I can do it anymore. She'll always be welcome in our bed but she refuses the co-sleeper and I just need my space. I know that makes me a bad AP Mommy but she honestly sleeps better on her own. When I'm in bed she wakes every 45 minutes to eat- because she knows its there. When she naps or sleeps with Daddy she'll sleep a good 6-7 hour stretch every time.

My plan is to start transitioning her into her crib for naps at 8 months and then start on bedtime around 9 months. I'm going to do it slow and back way off if she doesn't respond well, but I've got to start something. She'll always be welcome in our bed and chances are when she wakes for her first feeding I'll just bring her in beside me and gently wean from that.

She seems ready. I think I'm happy with my decision... I love sleeping with her but I'm afraid I'm done. So is my DH.

So when did you ladies move your babies into their own beds? How did it go? How did you know it was time?

[Herbwifemama]

We moved dd from between us to a crib mattress on the floor at 10 months. That's when she started waking up a ton at night, because our movements woke her- and yes, nursing a ton just because it was there. Doing what is in the best interest for the whole family does not make you a bad AP mom. Cosleeping is a continuum, a web of many different things, not just a family bed. Consider all the options, including the out of box ones. You don't have to go from a family bed to a crib in a seperate room. However, don't expect a completely smooth transition. It's an adjustment. When we first moved dd, she'd only sleep on the floor for about 30 mins before she was back in our bed for the first night nurse. And over time, it got better and better. She still sleeps with us most nights, but she does have her own room, bed, and starts out there. However, keep in mind she's 3.5 at this stage. And your dd still needs nourishment at night. She's not a newborn anymore, but she's still really little, and even up til age 2, sometimes dd would wake up and need something to eat.

[Emerald Orchid]

When mom or baby (or dad) is no longer comfortable with your sleeping arrangement, then it's time to consider making changes. No one can tell you when the right time is for your family. :heart

[Close2MyHeart]

Katie starts the night out in her sister's room in a *gulp ~ dare I say* crib. When she wakes up (usually around 3-4 am) she comes to our room. I nurse her in bed and then put her in a pack n play next to me or she stays in our bed. It works out well for us and seems to be the 'happy medium' for us both.

[Iansmama]

AP isn't about keeping her in your bed, it's about reading her cues and following them. You all sleep better in your own space :shrug Many people do. Do what is best for your family :yes

I'm not a co-sleeper at heart. I sleep best alone...I would actually love to have my own bed (don't tell my dh :shifty ) I'm more of a family room gal than a family bed gal. I do it out of laziness for night wakings when they are babies and because both my children prefer it. If they preferred their own space I wouldn't complain a bit! With both though, I have started transistioning by nursing them to sleep and putting them in a toddler bed in our room until I am in bed and they wake in the middle of the night. Then they sleep with me the rest of the night.

[Eowyn]

Being an AP mommy means listening to your daughter's needs. :hug If she sleeps better on her own, then you're not un-AP for respecting that need and letting her sleep in her own space.:shrug3

[Buela]

Dr Sears has said " the best sleeping arrangement for your family is the one that gives the most people the most sleep" or something to that effect. And he has also said that if you resent something (or if it isn't working for you) then change it.

We did some bedsharing with dd in the first year, not because I believed in co-sleeping, I liked it or she liked it, but because I was DOG TIRED and couldn't cope anymore. I think it was from 4-9 months. I hated it, and she was a squirmer and fought me in her sleep. I just cold turkey put her back in her crib. It meant me getting out of bed A LOT though to tend to her. Her night wakings didn't improve much after the change, but the quality of mine and dh's sleep between wakings did.


Good luck to you however you decide to make the change. It isn't easy, but what about motherhood is?

:heart

[aleigh]

I was an "accidental co-sleeper". I really HATE co-sleeping with a baby. It makes me nervous & I don't really sleep at all. Plus, my husband is a very heavy sleeper, so when our babies were in our bed, I would kick him out. Both my kids started the night out in their cribs & when they first woke to eat I would try to put them back in their cribs, if not, THEN they slept with me. I do, however, use to love it when my 3 year old would crawl into bed with us at 5am.

But, I prefer my babies in their cribs where they sleep well & I sleep well & I don't have to worry about them being rolled on. Plus, dd also nursed about every 45 minutes until I put her in her crib. Now she sleeps a loooong time until she nurses. It's great!

[MudPies]

we transitioned dink to starting out the night in his crib around 6-8 months. It went fine. at first I would say he could come to our bed after midnight (if he woke before, I would go and get him back to sleep and put him in his crib) then I moved it to 2 am. Now he usually joins us between 3 and 5. if he does earlier- it is bc he had a bad dream or something. I sleep better alone- but i also like the early morning snuggles!

[TuneMyHeart]

I do not like co-sleeping. I don't sleep well, I constantly worry about the baby rolling/falling/crawling off, and I get tired of having little people touch me all night long. But Anna Kate sleeps best with us, so that's where she is until I can find another way that works better.

We play musical beds every night. :lol You are not a bad AP mommy; you're doing what is best for your family. Everybody is unique and has different needs. Dr. Sears says to take what works for you, and leave the rest. :tu

[filmgirl2911]

I'm glad that you posted this thread :yes and it seems like you got a lot of good responses and food for thought. I have been pondering the very thing you posted, and reading your post and the responses you received have helped me gain a fresh perspective. And, as a matter of fact, today I bought a full-sized mattress and sheets and pillows in bright pink, green and polka dots (including a pink body pillow with white polka dots) to start putting together a cozy, cheerful place for my 16.5 month old little girl. The idea of transitioning her to her own space makes me sad on one hand but relieved on the other, because I think she is ready for her own space (and I am ready for mine :shifty) and, like others have said, I think she sleeps longer stretches when nursing is not readily available. She sleeps her longest stretch before I climb into bed next to her.

Anyway - I hope that you are able to find an arrangement that works better for all of you. Keep us posted as you do :heart

[mellymommy]

Do what is best for your family and don't apologize. =) It is okay to have your dd sleep in another bed or even another room.

Ds1 was moved to his own bed around 10mo, dd around 2yo, dfs 1 & 2 *had* to be in their own spaces (OH state laws but they were in our room each until around 6mo), and ds2 is 14mo and we started putting him in a toddler bed about a month ago because he is a night-kicker.

I read The No Cry Sleep Solution and have followed it loosely with great success for all our babies. BUT, I was ready to have night-nursing boundaries in place.

[Sign Of The Fish Burger]

Thanks so much ladies!!!! I am so encouraged by your responses. I'm relieved to hear that others don't like co-sleeping either.

I have the NCSS and I've read bits and pieces of it but I'm going to attack it full on when I get home (visiting family right now).

I've been pondering maybe moving her crib into our room. It's small (our room) but I think it could work. I'm not sure- I'll have to talk to DH. I'm not sure he's gonna want to move it again :hehe

[TuneMyHeart]

I've been pondering maybe moving her crib into our room. It's small (our room) but I think it could work. I'm not sure- I'll have to talk to DH. I'm not sure he's gonna want to move it again :hehe

I wanted to move the crib into our room too, but DH put his foot down and said he didn't want to have to move it back. :lol He knew we probably wouldn't use it anyway.

[ncsweetpea]

I slept so much better after DD was in her own space...and so did her daddy...and so did she! Do whatever it takes to get some good rest. After we stopped co-sleeping with the baby, I seriously got the notion to get twin beds ala Ricky and Lucy. We never actually did, but I was so tempted...

She'll visit you from time to time...and you'll be less irritated by it once you have had some good solo sleeping time.

[NewLeaf]

I hope the transition goes really smoothly for you!:heart

Dd absolutely needed her own space from day one... at 3.5 you still cannot sleep in a bed with her, she's always had her own crib.

Ds goes to bed in a crib for naps and bedtime (for his own safety!) and comes to bed/cosleeper with us after his first night waking.

Cosleeping is pretty hard on my back and dh doesn't sleep with us all the time so it's not exactly a picnic, but since he wakes so much it's the only way for me to get rest at this point.

I'll be honest and say admit I'm hoping this isn't something we're still doing in a year or two.:O

[HomeWithMyBabies]

I'm a reluctant cosleeper myself, but I use gentle methods that work while they work. AP is not some exclusive club where you have to go down the list and check everything off to join. :hug My oldest himself would have kept us out of if that were true.

I started with NCSS somewhere around ten months old, and I did find it helpful at that time. If it doesn't fit for you that's ok too. :yes

[Firebird Rising]

I haven't read any other replies but are you open to being flexible? I found with DS1 that we really tried a lot of different things over the last three years, sometimes he was in bed (up till around 9 months), then side-carred (10-12 months), then in bed again (12-15), then on the floor most of the night (15-19), then sleeping with daddy (19-22), then co-sleeping with all of us again in bed. Right now, it's him and DH in the king and me and Elijah in an air mattress. Right NOW, it's not working for you, but if you say you're done, in two months or so, would you be open to trying it again during a wicket teething episode?

:hugheart

Jen D.

[Barefoot Bookworm]

I don't think that makes you a bad AP mommy! Mine both went into their own beds at 3 months because they started kicking the daylights out of DH and I. No one was getting good sleep and it turns out that they prefer their own space. They refuse to cosleep now even for naps.