NEED help! How to advocate my desire to unschool!

[AbbeyShane]

My son is 4 and although I know he would LOVE to go to public school I have a HOST of reasons for not wanting to send him. My husband absolutely does NOT want me to homeschool. If he knew what unschooling was his head would explode. Let's call him Obstacle#1. My inlaws we'll call Obstacle#2. They would spontaneously combust if they knew I planned to unschool! They don't know I'm having a homebirth for our 3rd child and we don't plan on telling them. They didn't think breastfeeding would sustain the life of my son when he was born. They don't like anything that sniffs of hippie or alternative. Let's just say they don't "get" me. Anyways, I've been reading tons of posts, blogs, articles in magazines, and some books on homeschooling and unschooling. Could some body give me a website or a book (preferably a newly published one) that advocates unschooling with polls and all that science-y stuff that convinces people like Obstacles1and2? Also I have a huge flaw in being a slacker. I won't be an unschooling mom/slacker and give it a bad reputation! So any inspiration or exercises I can do to build my motivation muscle? Any tips of any kind would be MOST appreciated!

[gentlemommy]

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[mommy2abigail]

Well, my dh isn't too keen on unschooling. I am leaning in that direction...so it makes things hard. However, out of respect for dh I have come up with a 'plan' for the year. We have different themes and ideas that we will work on during each month. HOW we do that/practical application is totally unschoolish. It just helps dh to see that we ARE doing something. Also, I looked up the scope and sequence for K and wrote them down in a notebook as our homeschool goals. I am checking things off as she learns them...naturally. That way dh can feel like we are up to par with stuff. My MIL is a school teacher, so unschooling isn't her thing either, but honestly, that is not any of her business. Unless my children are being neglected (of course not) she really has no say in how they are being schooled. If it is a problem, dh needs to handle it. HTH

[Titus2Momof4]

I just wanted to say......... Obstacle#2 does NOT need to be an obstacle. I don't care if you unschool, public school, or whatever-school. Your MIL absolutely does not get a say!

Ignore her, and so you really only have 1 obstacle (your own husband).

Unless you feel that she has a major influence on dh?? In that case, you still don't need to give a flying fig what she says/feels/thinks.....BUT her opinions just might surface in the form of 'coming from dh', so you might have to deal with them, indirectly.

[saturnfire16]

I agree with everyone who said your MIL shouldn't be an obstacle.  Just say you're homeschooling, and when she asks about curriculum, tell her something vague and pass the bean dip.  Or say, right now we are using websites like starfall.com, we are reading books like XYZ or whatever you picked up at the library that week, doing lots of counting etc.  She doesn't need to know that you do those things on you and your child's own schedule IF you choose to do them at all that week. 

For your dh, get him on board with homeschooling FIRST.  I haven't read it, but I've heard lots of good things about the book Better Late than Early by Moore (someone correct me if I have that title or author wrong.)  If you can at least get your husband to see that lots of kids don't read until they are 8 or 9 or 10, lots of "professionals" advocate starting formal schooling around 7, play is the best learning for the early years.  Get him on board with that, and then as the years progress, maybe he will loosen up and you can start to talk about unschooling. 

If you want to learn more about unschooling here is my favorite site:  sandradodd.com  She also has a yahoo group called Always Learning, but you might feel more comfortable starting off in the group Unschooling Basics.  Always Learning can be pretty intense. 

There's a book called the Unschooling Manual.  One called Christian Unschooling. 

ummmm, trying to think of some other resources for you- I'll come back if I come up with anything else.

ETA: you won't find any polls or statistics about unschoolers. There aren't many of us and we tend to stay off the grid, so to speak. I know there are statistics about homeschoolers doing better in college and that sort of thing.

[veggiegirl]

Don't call it 'unschooling' around your MIL, just call it home schooling (if that is already shocking enough to her.) And they may come around. My SIL was very anti-homeschooling a few years ago, told everyone that it is unhealthy, and now, she is homeschooling her oldest. I am still in shock over that one! So let your family be an example of how it can work.

[AbbeyShane]

.....BUT her opinions just might surface in the form of 'coming from dh', so you might have to deal with them, indirectly.


That is EXACTLY what will happen! And frnakly I think my ideas and the things I pursue (homebirth, breastfeeding, knitting, sewing, baking bread, wishing to have cows, etc.) embarass him around his parents especially. They're so critical of me and it's hard on him. Our backgrounds couldn't be more different (even though we were both raised in the same tiny town in MT). So I guess I'm looking for ways for him to fortify himself. They respond well to the mainstream media. Maybe I'll give Kathie Lee and Hoda a call...... :think Like they would ever put a good spin on that!!! :mad