Co-sleeping worries

[Kiwi Mama]

Holly is 5 weeks old and we've currently got her in our bed in a snuggle nest called "My Little Bed" which is working out well but I'm planning to ditch that once she's "old" enough so we have more room as it's a bit of a squeeze and it's a pain to get her in and out of it. We'll probably get rid of it in a couple of weeks.

Anyway I'm worried about 2 things.

1. I like sleeping with her with her head propped up on my upper arm and my arm around her - but I'm worried that either she'll pop her nose against my chest and suffocate or that her head will bend too far forward and she'll suffocate (like they warn you with slings, not to have their head bent forward too much).

2. Night nursing - a blessing since she nurses every 1.5-2 hours at night! :yawn I'm worried that while I'm asleep and she's feeding she'll stuff her nose into my breast and suffocate that way. My breasts are pretty small but still worried!

Can anyone set my mind at ease?

[boobymummy]

I certainly hope I can set your mind at ease! :D My son is now nearly 8 months old. When he was new he usually slept in the crook of my arm. Probably wouldn't recommend it, but I even pulled the blanket up over his head sometimes as it was still cool weather when he was born :shifty. I was always aware of where the blanket was and it was never smothering on his face, it was stretched between my shoulder (laying on my side) and my husband's shoulder. With him in the crook of my arm I got cold with the blanket lower.

How good is it boobying! Well done, and you know that night waking for feeds is associated with a lower incidence of sids? (Google James McKenna for more info, or Dr Sears mentions this in one part on his website too) I never let Asher go over 6 hours without booby when he was younger, and I still get a bit worried if he has a rare night he wont take booby. Its so out of character. :nak2

When you are breastfeeding you actually sleep more lightly. Its to do with your hormones, and I believe part of God's design more us to be aware of our children as we sleep and meet their needs appropriately. Smothering in your breasts is something that is listed as a risk of co-sleeping...If you are grossly obese. So you don't have to worry there. I've seen plenty of obese women with babies in slings on their massive breasts and wonder how the children can breathe :think but apparently can :lol

I must say that we slept cramped into our Queen size bed (Aussie Queen is smaller than US) with pillows blocking the edge so I could sleep without worrying about Asher rolling off, until a few weeks ago when we upgraded to a king size futon mattress 14cm thick which simply goes on the floor japanese style. We now have ample room because there are no pillows blocking the edge anymore either! Its almost too big lol! I can call to DH from the other side of the bed and he can hardly hear my voice :giggle If you can afford it, have you considered getting a co-sleeping rail? It is something I would do next time if we were still in a standard bed.

[KatieMae]

I think positioning baby in a purposeful way will help alleviate your worries :hug2

1. When she's got her head on your upper arm, turn her body slightly upward - a position between back- and side-lying - so her face is mostly up & away from your arm. You can prop her "inside" arm against your chest to make it easier to keep her in that position.

2. I would always pull baby's legs (knees, specifically I think) against my tummy & then the baby's torso would be angled out & away from me, but with his/her head at the perfect place to reach the milk :yes Again, lift the chin slightly - adjust baby a little further down your tummy if needed - so you have no worries about that nose getting blocked.

Sounds like you're doing great mama :tu

[March]

I worry constantly, too. First-time mom thing. We sleep and nurse that way, too, ever since I first learned to nurse lying on my side when ds was 3 weeks old. He's 12 weeks now and I've relaxed a bit. I never put him between dh and me but I find I'm pretty aware of his breathing.

[Kiwi Mama]

I must say that we slept cramped into our Queen size bed (Aussie Queen is smaller than US) with pillows blocking the edge so I could sleep without worrying about Asher rolling off, until a few weeks ago when we upgraded to a king size futon mattress 14cm thick which simply goes on the floor japanese style. We now have ample room because there are no pillows blocking the edge anymore either! Its almost too big lol! I can call to DH from the other side of the bed and he can hardly hear my voice :giggle If you can afford it, have you considered getting a co-sleeping rail? It is something I would do next time if we were still in a standard bed.



We are pretty cramped in our Aussie Queen bed too with the snuggle nest in there.
I actually made a bolster thing just like this: http://www.mamaroobabysling.com/newsite/HumanityCoSleeper.html (it was really easy to make!) which I put on the edge of the bed if we're not using the snuggle nest. I couldn't find a bed rail I thought was safe enough (ie can't get trapped between it and bed). Our Queen mattress is also on the floor so I might just ditch the bolster too if we need more room and make sure it's a nice soft landing beside the bed.

I've heard a lot of people say they never sleep with the baby between them and their DH - how does that work for nursing from both sides? cos I always put Holly on the side of me that I'm nursing from. Then fall asleep! Should I try to stay awake for that side and then roll her back over to the "safe" side?

[KatieMae]

I've heard a lot of people say they never sleep with the baby between them and their DH - how does that work for nursing from both sides? cos I always put Holly on the side of me that I'm nursing from. Then fall asleep! Should I try to stay awake for that side and then roll her back over to the "safe" side?


If you can make it work, you can keep her on the same side & just turn your body more downward to the top-side breast is within her reach.

I can't do that though, so I do switch sides. Definitely in the first two or three months, my husband is as far as he can be on his side of the bed & I press my back against the guardrail so there's lots of space between baby & daddy. If you have a heavy-sleeper for a husband, definitely don't even attempt it. Always, safety first :yes

[Codi]

Hmmm...don't know if I can help alleviate any worries but may have some ideas. :shrug3

1. Relax. :) Probably easier said than done, I know. Reading Dr.Sears research on infant/mother co-sleeping may help there. Us mothers are given a very strong sense of awareness, even in our sleep. :) Many mothers have stories of waking straight up from a dead sleep to realize something is wrong. Like I did about a year ago when I sat straight up in bed, looked over at ds (then 2.5) who was laying flat on his back right next to his dad, choking on his vomit. There was one other time (coincidentally involving vomit :lol ) that I woke up just before ds started throwing up all over the bed. It's mothers instinct. And its strong.

2. Babies are much more capable than we often realize. Even a newborn has the ability to use their arms to try and remove a blanket over them. My dd always pulls her face away from my breast if her nose gets smooshed too. lol

I have co-slept and nursed both my babies with barely a worry. I know co-sleeping is safer, reduces SIDS, and helps build the bond. :heart

Here is the link to Dr.Sears co-sleeping info. http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/t071000.asp

Enjoy it. It's the best!

[March]

I sit up to nurse on that side and read something on my laptop to keep me awake.