family bed/ infant dilema UPDATED pg1 - Solved!

[Blue Aurora]

So currently we sleep on a cal. king turned sideways for extra room (yay for being short) pushed against the wall in this order...

wall/ds2/me/dh/ds1


Our plan for baby arriving was to move ds2 between dh and I so the baby would be between me and the wall. I don't think we're going to be able to move ds2 (3.5) b/c he's highly attached to his spot by the wall.

So how can we all sleep together safely? Usually baby sleeps cradled in my arm under my arm pit.

Suggestions? I really need to stay next to ds2 as well.

[Bonnie]

That depends on how your dh sleeps. No way would I put a newborn between me and my dh. It's probably going to take some time to get ds2 moved...maybe relocate him after he falls asleep, several nights in a row?

[Blue Aurora]

bump :shifty

[Paige]

I only have one in the bed but she sleeps between myself and DH and has since the day she was born. I really don't believe that fathers are incapable of being aware of the baby. I trust that my husband would tell me if he felt uncomfortable or that it was dangerous. As it is your DH has been sleeping with kids for a while so he must be aware. Plus if the lo is so close to you...I wouldn't have a problem with it. If DH is comfortable that is what I would do. You wouldn't want your older child to feel like he was losing his spot because of the baby. Just my opinion. :)

[Bonnie]

It really does depend on the father in question...my default is to proceed with caution unless your husband is especially sensitive or a light sleeper. My dh is marvelous with our kids, very careful, etc, but no way would I put a newborn next to him. :no No, it doesn't necessarily mean all dads are unaware in their sleep. But neither are they wired the same way we are.

Are you having no luck at all with moving ds? :( It can be a long process...we're in the middle of moving Katie from our bed into Nora's, and believe me, I sympathize. :heart

[Katigre]

I'd swith so it's this order:

Wall-DS2-DH-DS1-Me-Newborn-Bedrail

I wouldn't put a newborn in the middle of 5 people cosleeping. I sometimes put DD in the middle now, but DH never moves in his sleep or moves over from his side, plus she's a bit older now and I know all of our family sleep patterns instinctually. But when she was new and we were getting used to each other in sleep i didn't feel safe about it.

[Blue Aurora]

:think hmmm, I hadn't thought about that order b/c ds2 is so attached to me being next to him but maybe that would work even if it was for the first few months till she got bigger and more established sleep patterns.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, I wonder which he'd object to more? You moving, or him? If dh takes over more of bedtime, that might help ease the transition. :think

[Blue Aurora]

Yeah, I wonder which he'd object to more? You moving, or him? If dh takes over more of bedtime, that might help ease the transition. :think


Well, he's not moving we've decided and we also decided to keep the bedtime routine the same after baby for his sake. Daddy reads books and I lay with them for about 10 mins while they fall asleep. Baby girl will have daddy time for a little bit instead of him taking over the whole thing like we did with ds1. I just don't know how he'll respond. He love to cuddle when he wakes up and in his sleep but he might do ok with daddy instead of me.

[Bonnie]

Yeah, I wonder which he'd object to more? You moving, or him? If dh takes over more of bedtime, that might help ease the transition. :think


Well, he's not moving we've decided and we also decided to keep the bedtime routine the same after baby for his sake. Daddy reads books and I lay with them for about 10 mins while they fall asleep. Baby girl will have daddy time for a little bit instead of him taking over the whole thing like we did with ds1. I just don't know how he'll respond. He love to cuddle when he wakes up and in his sleep but he might do ok with daddy instead of me.


That's kind of what I ended up doing, at least for the first couple months, with our three. When the girls were here when dh left for several weeks when Katie was a newborn, Rachel would hold (a not necessarily approving :shifty) Katie downstairs while I read to and snuggled down Nora. :yes

[Blue Aurora]

Ds2 randomly three days ago switched his spot to between dh and I. :jawdrop I have no idea why but he hasn't asked to move back by the wall and sleeps all night happily on his pillow between dh and I. I have a safe space for baby now. :phew :phew

[ReedleBeetle]

I wonder if you are going to ahve the baby very soon. :think Isn't weird how kids will do things like that? I ma so glad the problem was solved with no trauma!