Aargh! Why do I stress out when I hear about what other people are doing??

[Singingmom]

I'm feeling confident with what we're doing and not doing, and then I sit next to a mom I admire at football practice and now I'm pulling out my hair! :crazy It seems a group of local families will have a Tapestry of Grace co-op next year and there's so much that's good about that program, not to mention the social advantages for my kids to hang out with other kids and discuss books (actually the thought of that would make my oldest cringe).

But I don't know that it would be a good fit for my boys and I don't think I want to be accountable for our reading schedule. I hate second guessing myself every time I hear that someone loves what they're doing and it's different. You would think after 8 years of this I'd know better! :/

[allisonintx]

:hug I'm only four years into homeschooling and I feel much the same way. I pretty much don't talk to others about what they're doing.

I'd love to be that Sonlight or ToG mom, but I'm not her. What we do pales in comparison to what other, more ambitious homeschooling families, but it's working for my children and our family right now. :hug

[Hermana Linda]

I think it's human nature to do that. :think If not, than it's a very common trait in many of us. :yes3 Just keep telling yourself that we are all different and all do different things. Different children thrive on different things. What is right for them is not necessarily right for you. :hug2

[klpmommy]

me, too

[veggiegirl]

As a word of encouragement to you, you never know that that mom may be admiring something you are doing with your children.

[Singingmom]

Thanks, all. :) You make me feel better.

[LadyMadelon]

I let those same feelings lead me into buying TOG yr 1, of which we did about 9 weeks before going back to our relaxed, bit of this, bit of that, almost unschooling routine. I just keep reminding myself just because we don't do a formal "curriculum" doesn't mean they aren't learning...their test scores and conversations prove that they are getting a good education. I'm keeping TOG, though. I think it will work better for us when we get to the upper grades and my children take more of the responsibility for their schoolwork (and when I no longer have newborns and toddlers around).

My big area of "why aren't I doing *that*?" is arts and crafts stuff. I'm so incredibly lacking in that area! And I have friends that are so gifted! It's hard to see the stuff they and their children put together and not feel like my children are missing out.

[mom2boys]

Oh, I do that all the time, too!! And we are 8 (9? I lost track...and I'm too lazy to count right now :lol) years into this thing, too.


As a word of encouragement to you, you never know that that mom may be admiring something you are doing with your children.


:yes
one of my good friends is very good about reading to her kids. I am not very good at family reading times-and I have always been "oh, man! her kids are so lucky she reads to them all the time!" and when I told her that she looked at me like I had grown another head and said, "really?? let me tell you what I have always envied about YOUR schoolday!!" :lol

[tempus vernum]

Great thread. . . very encouraging.

I could copy something from each of the previous posts because I am :yes at each of you :giggle .

It is SO SO SO hard. When I finally let go of doing what I think I should be doing and doing what works for us, we read through almost our entire curriculum (sonlight 1) in about 4 months :jawdrop We are officially 4 books from done but all the way done with the history. I dropped the schedule and read as the spirit moved and it's going great.

The biggest lesson I learned was "what's good for the goose is not always good for the gander".

Espeically cuz I am like a bouncy ball. . . talks to one friend who is more structured than I and want to do that. . . move into more than my "structured unschooly relaxed" routine. . . get stressed by too much structure. . . drop that. . . talk to my friend who is way more relaxed than I, drop our "structured unschooly relaxed" routine. . . get stressed by not enough structure :doh

I was considering posting on the wall "we like a relaxed routine, mama" so that when I try to get more than that out of them, I back off :shifty

[kiloyd]

I am like that too. I had a friend tell me "there will always be something else out there that sounds/looks better. But if what you are doing works for you, dont' change it."

[KatieMae]

My big area of "why aren't I doing *that*?" is arts and crafts stuff. I'm so incredibly lacking in that area! And I have friends that are so gifted! It's hard to see the stuff they and their children put together and not feel like my children are missing out.

:yes I'm with you on that. Doesn't help that a have a good friend who was an art teacher before becoming a mom :doh And she doesn't even hs, just does lots of artsy things with her girls for fun. I suppose it's an unfair comparison though :giggle

[klpmommy]

for me it is science stuff. I love science, it was my favorite thing to teach. My IRL bf is always doing science stuff with her twin boys. But I remind myself (or try to!!!!) that they are at school five days a week so she has more time to gather supplies & she doesn't have a into-everything toddler to help.

E *insists* on art projects/crafts, so I am sort of okay at keeping up with those. We are going to do one today, in fact. I really like the Mary Ann Kohl art books, they are simple & good ideas, not focused on the finished product or with a specific goal in mind, but doing the process. So I can do those easier. But even so, most of the time my art project for E consists of me handing her crayons & paper. Or it is the project she found a picture of & wants to do.

[Leslie]

I was on the Ambleside Online Advisory for a few years when I read The Well-Trained Mind - and began to second-guess myself and wonder if I should do that instead! I don't think anyone is immune from seeing the grass on the other side and wondering if it's greener, or wondering if there's more you should be doing than you are.

[Rabbit]

I do that with absolutely everything to do with anything at all, not just parenting or homeschooling. My brain wears me out. :hug

[mamahammer]

I do that with absolutely everything to do with anything at all, not just parenting or homeschooling. My brain wears me out. :hug


and


Espeically cuz I am like a bouncy ball. . . talks to one friend who is more structured than I and want to do that. . . move into more than my "structured unschooly relaxed" routine. . . get stressed by too much structure. . . drop that. . . talk to my friend who is way more relaxed than I, drop our "structured unschooly relaxed" routine. . . get stressed by not enough structure :doh


:yes :yes :shifty :O :nails :yes

[2TMama]

BTDT :hugheart, glad to hear either a) I'm actually NOT crazy or b) at least I'm accompanied by other like-minded crazies! :heart ;)

[Singingmom]

at least I'm accompanied by other like-minded crazies! :heart ;)


:lol It's always nice to be in good company. :sillygrin

[Teribear]

I think its human nature. We are still in a lot of ways pioneers in this movement and most of us grew up in institutional schools and don't really have a model other than that. Then you add in the fact that we've become a "movement" of enough size to be getting the attention of folks who want to sell us stuff, unlike in the beginning when we had to seek vendors out and BEG them to let us buy the curriculums they were selling to the public schools and we find ourselves faced with a nearly overwhelming array of choices and philosophies to try to sort through. I personally am an unschooler surrounded by school-at-home types and sometimes its nearly impossible not to cave under the messages, both implied and sometimes outright stated, that I am "doing nothing".

Then we have a day like today. My daughter has had such a struggle with reading the ENTIRE time we've been homeschooling and that one thing has caused me more stress and gray hair than anything else we have encountered. I was an "advanced" reader so having a child with dyslexic tendencies never entered my mind as a possibility. Two months ago I took her to see Twilight. She asked to read the books. And she did. All FOUR of them. It took her reading every day for those last two months to do it but she read every word. Now she's hooked. And today she's read 5 of the chapter books that she "couldn't" read before she attacked the Twilight series in ONE day. She came and asked me, "Is this how you feel all the time?" while grinning from ear to ear.

T

[mandieolivia]

Great thread. . . very encouraging.

I could copy something from each of the previous posts because I am :yes at each of you :giggle .

It is SO SO SO hard. When I finally let go of doing what I think I should be doing and doing what works for us, we read through almost our entire curriculum (sonlight 1) in about 4 months :jawdrop We are officially 4 books from done but all the way done with the history. I dropped the schedule and read as the spirit moved and it's going great.

The biggest lesson I learned was "what's good for the goose is not always good for the gander".

Espeically cuz I am like a bouncy ball. . . talks to one friend who is more structured than I and want to do that. . . move into more than my "structured unschooly relaxed" routine. . . get stressed by too much structure. . . drop that. . . talk to my friend who is way more relaxed than I, drop our "structured unschooly relaxed" routine. . . get stressed by not enough structure :doh

I was considering posting on the wall "we like a relaxed routine, mama" so that when I try to get more than that out of them, I back off :shifty


this is me. exactly!

[Singingmom]

Then we have a day like today. My daughter has had such a struggle with reading the ENTIRE time we've been homeschooling and that one thing has caused me more stress and gray hair than anything else we have encountered. I was an "advanced" reader so having a child with dyslexic tendencies never entered my mind as a possibility. Two months ago I took her to see Twilight. She asked to read the books. And she did. All FOUR of them. It took her reading every day for those last two months to do it but she read every word. Now she's hooked. And today she's read 5 of the chapter books that she "couldn't" read before she attacked the Twilight series in ONE day. She came and asked me, "Is this how you feel all the time?" while grinning from ear to ear.

Woo! :rockon :clap :tu That's so exciting! :hug

[lenswyf]

I have had plenty of exposure to TOG fans and co-ops myself. I'd love to do it, but would be such a mess trying to keep up with it all. But I know what you mean--I can certainly feel like a total slacker when I compare myself to some of those ambitious moms, especially when I consider that I'm homeschooling 1 child, while they are homeschooling many. Then again, many of them have hired help to do all the household things they don't have time for, and I'm the family breadwinner (working 40+ hours/week from home). That helps keep it in perspective. We do what works for our family (Sonlight). It happens that I really enjoy it, too, so that's a bonus. But... I'm rambling.

I realized that I must be growing in that area (or I've just decided to stick with Sonlight forever) when I was looking at the vendor list for the local Christian home educators event. Great products, lots of them... and I don't feel any need whatsoever to go see them. I might enjoy browsing, but I doubt that I would buy anything. That's quite a change from the past.

[tempus vernum]

I realized that I must be growing in that area (or I've just decided to stick with Sonlight forever) when I was looking at the vendor list for the local Christian home educators event. Great products, lots of them... and I don't feel any need whatsoever to go see them. I might enjoy browsing, but I doubt that I would buy anything. That's quite a change from the past.




:woohoo I hope I feel this way when I got to our HS groups used book sale :shifty The last time I went I was in a place of full contentment and bought only a few fun learning games :grin

Being an unschooler used book sales are a bit dangerous unless there are lots of literature or lots of learning games or manipulatives :shifty

[lenswyf]

She came and asked me, "Is this how you feel all the time?" while grinning from ear to ear.
I can only imagine your delight!

Ds gets so mad at me; I often read ahead in the read-alouds after he's in bed, and he thinks that is just not fair.

[tempus vernum]

I think its human nature. We are still in a lot of ways pioneers in this movement and most of us grew up in institutional schools and don't really have a model other than that. Then you add in the fact that we've become a "movement" of enough size to be getting the attention of folks who want to sell us stuff, unlike in the beginning when we had to seek vendors out and BEG them to let us buy the curriculums they were selling to the public schools and we find ourselves faced with a nearly overwhelming array of choices and philosophies to try to sort through. I personally am an unschooler surrounded by school-at-home types and sometimes its nearly impossible not to cave under the messages, both implied and sometimes outright stated, that I am "doing nothing".

Then we have a day like today. My daughter has had such a struggle with reading the ENTIRE time we've been homeschooling and that one thing has caused me more stress and gray hair than anything else we have encountered. I was an "advanced" reader so having a child with dyslexic tendencies never entered my mind as a possibility. Two months ago I took her to see Twilight. She asked to read the books. And she did. All FOUR of them. It took her reading every day for those last two months to do it but she read every word. Now she's hooked. And today she's read 5 of the chapter books that she "couldn't" read before she attacked the Twilight series in ONE day. She came and asked me, "Is this how you feel all the time?" while grinning from ear to ear.

T


I thought i replied to this part of the thread :scratch but I SO SO SO needed to read this :hug :woohoo I am so happy and excited to hear this :happytears I have watched your journey and it's such a great reminder that we *can* get through our ds' issues :hug

:congrats Mama. that has to feel so tremendous :jump :jump