Torturing my child to sleep...

[Blue-EyedLady]

I feel like such an un-gentle mama, but, occasionally, when I'm desperate, I pin DS down with a leg over his hips. Screaming, crying, violent kicking, and foaming at the mouth ensues (him, not me ;)). I shh him, offer the breast, pat his head, etc., but mostly let him cry a while. After a bit, I unpin him, and let him nurse. He usually drifts right off to sleep at that point.

I get so frustrated that he won't go to sleep, especially when I know he's exhausted, and NOTHING else will work short of a long car ride. And when DH has the car at work, there's nothing I can do. I know it's not technically CIO, since I'm right there, but it doesn't make for happy sleep associations either.

So, do I deserve the "bad mommy" award, or is this "normal"?

[kaismamma]

Are you pinning him down because he won't stay layed down?

[Blue-EyedLady]

Are you pinning him down because he won't stay layed down?


Yeah - he gets bored nursing, and pops up to go play. He climbs all over me to go find something else to do, and thinks it's great fun. He also is a practionioner of "acrobatic nursing" if you KWIM.

[JessicaTX]

I had to do that to get my second to sleep anywhere that wasn't her bed. She needed to sleep, she was very tired, but she coudln't sleep if we weren't at home. So I'd lay in the bed with her and hold my leg over hers so she couldn't kick free, my arm around her hugging her so she coudn't flail free, and I'd sing and rock her to sleep while she screamed at the top of her lungs for an hour. Luckily it didn't happen often, we just didn't go much of anywhere for the first three years of her life. She's the only one of my 4 that i've had to do that with, so perhaps it isn't "normal" but sometimes I guess it's what is needed.

[Rabbit]

Done it with both of mine. It doesn't usually take long, but sometimes it is the only way I could them to sleep as toddlers.

[IslandHome]

:hugheart BTDT... we often pinned DS to get him to sleep. It always seemed cruel, but then less cruel then letting him keep going and going and going till he was waaay over tired.

[kaismamma]

I think I may have pinned for short periods of time when DS was having these problems. But more often I'd just keep laying him down as soon as he'd sit up again......and then rest a real heavy arm on him.

[Blue-EyedLady]

It was worse today! Nearly an hour of screaming while I sang to him, stroked his hair, etc. He's getting stronger, too. I was barely able to hold him down, and I needed both an arm and a leg over him to contain him. He was whimpering and refused to nurse as he finally fell asleep. :bheart

I worked today, so MIL was watching him. She tried to put him to sleep gently, but was unsuccessful. So by the time I got to her house he was terribly overtired. I had to wait several hours for DH to come pick us up, so I had to put him down on one of her beds. Once he finally fell asleep, he slept for 2 hours, though :jawdrop so it's obvious that he really needed it.

Is this what you have to do to teach your child how to sleep? MIL thinks so, and says I should have done this at 6 weeks old, and he'd be sleeping just fine now. Do you have to teach toddlers how to lie still by pinning them down? DS just can't seem to turn off the inner drive to "go go go" and relax long enough to fall asleep.

I just want to help my kid get good sleep! I'm :cry over what it seems that I must do in order to get him to sleep. The look on his face of utter betrayal is heart wrenching.

[OrthoMama]

Someone told us about the "hold them to sleep" method, and a few times we tried it in desperation when dd was having great difficulty falling asleep on her own. The lady suggested holding them to you, but I'm sure pinning is the same thing (to them). She said to talk about it while they cry and flail against you, like: "Its time to sleep. You are so tired and you are having a hard time sleeping and calming yourself down, so I am going to hold you and help you because I love you and I want you to be able to rest... " etc. etc. I think the talking was mainly for me, to calm me down because she would cryyyyyyy. The first time dd cried SO hard for 5 minutes and then fell instantly asleep, the ensuing times were a little harder to transfer her from my arms to the bed, and we didn't have to do it for long, just like a week before dd was able to fall asleep without crawling all over and entertaining herself with any tiny distraction. I don't think it's ideal, but I also don't think you'll have to do it for very long, it's a short season? Hope that helps. 8)

[Rabbit]

Easy Now herbal tea by Traditional Medicinals helped Samantha relax and get to sleep, during that phase.

[saturnfire16]

It was worse today! Nearly an hour of screaming while I sang to him, stroked his hair, etc. He's getting stronger, too. I was barely able to hold him down, and I needed both an arm and a leg over him to contain him. He was whimpering and refused to nurse as he finally fell asleep. :bheart

I worked today, so MIL was watching him. She tried to put him to sleep gently, but was unsuccessful. So by the time I got to her house he was terribly overtired. I had to wait several hours for DH to come pick us up, so I had to put him down on one of her beds. Once he finally fell asleep, he slept for 2 hours, though :jawdrop so it's obvious that he really needed it.

Is this what you have to do to teach your child how to sleep? MIL thinks so, and says I should have done this at 6 weeks old, and he'd be sleeping just fine now. Do you have to teach toddlers how to lie still by pinning them down? DS just can't seem to turn off the inner drive to "go go go" and relax long enough to fall asleep.

I just want to help my kid get good sleep! I'm :cry over what it seems that I must do in order to get him to sleep. The look on his face of utter betrayal is heart wrenching.


No, this is not what normally has to be done. Of course, all kids are different, but this has nothing to do with not doing CIO at 6 weeks old. I don't believe that children need to be "taught" how to sleep. Sleep is the bodies natural reaction when it needs to rest. They only need help learning to recognize the sypmtoms of being sleepy, and how that yucky feeling is different from feeling tired, sad etc. Unless there is something additional going on (new place, fear of sleep because of bad experiences, allergies). My kids are great sleepers, so I'll just share what has worked for us.

I've never had set nap times or bed times for them. I look for sleepy signs and then make the environment condusive to sleep. Since dd1 was about 2 years old, I started helping her recognize her own sleepy signals. She's not mature enough to always know when she's tired, but pretty often she will tell me that she's ready to go to bed. Or when I suggest that she might be sleepy based on the way she is acting, she will agree and we go to bed. Sleep and the process of getting to sleep has always been a peaceful time for her, so she has no reason to resist it.

The way I help her get to sleep has been different at different stages in her life. Some things that I have done or do now are:

Make the environment condusive to sleep. Turn off sounds, lights, snuggle up with her on the couch or bed.
Walk with her for a few minutes.
Sing to her.
Nurse her in bed or on the couch.
Back rubs and scratches, foot rubs.
Talking about relaxing- I will say "relax your feet and ankles and legs. Relax your knees and hips and stomach." All the way up her body as I massage each part. Then I talk about how I'm so glad that God made our bodies to be able to sleep and relax. It feels so good to relax after playing hard. We can sleep and when we we up we will feel so much better and ready to play again. We can see each other in our dreams. And I say all of that in a real low, slow voice.
Put on a movie or tv show real low and lay down and watch it together.

There was a point when she was about 2.5 when she wanted to do the acrobatic nursing, and just play in bed. It helped if I said "I'm going to sleep now." and I would close my eyes and not get involved in anything she was doing. I would nurse her when she was really ready to sleep, not if she was going to just play.

Now, sometimes, we spend 15 or 20 minutes just laying down together and she doesn't sleep, and she's ready to get up again. If that's all the rest she needed, then that's fine. That usually means she's ready for bed earlier at night, which is fine too. Occasionally, we might rest like this twice during the day. Personally, I'd rather spend an hour laying down and resting together with her not sleeping, then an hour trying to force her to sleep.

Try to remember that the point of getting them to sleep is not to make them sleep. The point is to help them listen to their own bodies and help them learn when they need to rest. And the rest they need might be different than the amount of sleep you need or what some book says a kid this age needs or what MIL thinks.

[musiclady]

I had to do something like this with my now 2 yo. its like they can't switch off, and I saw it as helping her to slow down so she could sleep. Didn't last long.

[BlessedBlue]

:hugheart

I'm noticing some people are talking about holding their kids for 5-10 minutes and then the child goes to sleep. But I am also reading that you are wrestling with him for an hour or longer. That's a huge difference.

:think Do you remember how E-bug needed to be "wound up" before she could go to sleep at this age? Do you think that KJ would do well with this approach?

How long are you expecting "putting to bed" to take? Are you expecting to put a sleepy child to bed and they stay and are asleep in 15 minutes? 20? In my experience both my kids take about an hour of "putting to bed" time. When I mentioned that in dismay to Mom, she thought about it and agreed that an hour is about right. I've never heard exactly how long it takes for KJ to drift off for you, so now I'm a bit interested in knowing. "putting to bed" time is not (at this age) brushing teeth, reading stories, etc. It is, sitting on the bed, being in the bedroom, having the lights low.

:hug I know you're trying your best. Keep asking questions, and don't go to "woulda, coulda, shoulda" land with your MIL. It's not helpful NOW.

[klpmommy]

sounds very much like what is happening with S right now. so hard!!!! and frustrating!!! FWIW, E was never *this* hard to put to sleep & she didn't cio either. But S does NOT want to stop. There is too much to do, to see, to explore, to climb, to taste.......to want to go to sleep. E would fight sleep to some degree (don't all kids?) but never with screaming, arching back, etc. So I think a lot of it is just personality. Some kids are more "go-ers" than others.

I have *not* figured this out yet with S, but some things that have helped are changing venues, so I might take her to another room & bounce on the exercise ball with her on my lap instead of staying in my room. Or turn on the tv & let her "watch" it while I pet her. (If nothing else, the tv helps keep me calmer :shifty ). Last night she was screaming for about 7 minutes, sooooooooooooo tired & I grabbed the rescue remedy, dropped a couple of drops on top of her head & she immediately fell asleep!! :jawdrop She isn't in pain from her teeth or anything, although sometimes after she has screamed for a while tylenol or motrin will help, I think b/c she has given herself a headache. :(

I have adjusted bedtimes, no avail. I have tried letting her go until she fell asleep--- that was a DISASTER. I have made sure she had enough outside time, enough "quiet" time before bed, bedtime routine, etc, etc, etc. S just does NOT want to sleep. The car will put her asleep, too, but I think it is b/c she *has* to be still in the car, you know? It is the same thing as holding her, but b/c she is used to sitting restrained in the carseat it doesn't make her as upset as when Mommy does it. And I can't drag four kids to the mini-van every time I need S to sleep.

I don't like holding her while she screams to sleep, but she *has* to sleep & she doesn't have the ability to relax to sleep yet. It will come, eventually, I hope.

[hillview]

It would have been REALLY helpful for me to know that all kids really are different. DS #1 needed to be rocked endlessly to go to sleep (2 hrs!) This was the case til he was 18 months old or so. DS #2 can be placed in his crib and falls asleep without a peep. We didn't do ANYTHING differently -- we coslept, we rocked BOTH. DS #1 is still higher needs. Sorry this doesn't help with a specific idea but had I known that with DS #1 I might have felt better that it wasn't anything I was doing it was just what he needed.
/hillary

[WanderingJuniper]

Do you have any kind of rhythm or schedule that prepares your son for bed time? I have a horrible sleeper in Bear but once we created a predictable rhythm it made things easier. Notice, I didn't say easy just easier. Even know at 7 if that schedule is thrown off she struggles to fall asleep or sleep through the night.

ETA: We did try the hugging to stay laying down thing but it only made the resistance last longer and with Pirate would end up with him throwing up. There was a great deal of laying him down and putting him back and firmly rubbing his back, sitting on the floor by the bed in the dark and putting him back in bed until he got it on his own. :shrug3

[Blue-EyedLady]

:hugheart

I'm noticing some people are talking about holding their kids for 5-10 minutes and then the child goes to sleep. But I am also reading that you are wrestling with him for an hour or longer. That's a huge difference.

:think Do you remember how E-bug needed to be "wound up" before she could go to sleep at this age? Do you think that KJ would do well with this approach?

How long are you expecting "putting to bed" to take? Are you expecting to put a sleepy child to bed and they stay and are asleep in 15 minutes? 20? In my experience both my kids take about an hour of "putting to bed" time. When I mentioned that in dismay to Mom, she thought about it and agreed that an hour is about right. I've never heard exactly how long it takes for KJ to drift off for you, so now I'm a bit interested in knowing. "putting to bed" time is not (at this age) brushing teeth, reading stories, etc. It is, sitting on the bed, being in the bedroom, having the lights low.

:hug I know you're trying your best. Keep asking questions, and don't go to "woulda, coulda, shoulda" land with your MIL. It's not helpful NOW.


I used to be able to nurse DS for about 20 minutes, and he'd drift off peacefully. It was great! He didn't stay asleep as long as we would have liked, but he could at least fall asleep. I don't think he needs to wind up to sleep. When he won't go to bed at night, DH will take him and play with him for a while, then bring him back to me. That works about 50% of the time. The rest of the time, a midnight drive is the only solution. :shrug3


I had to do something like this with my now 2 yo. its like they can't switch off, and I saw it as helping her to slow down so she could sleep. Didn't last long.


Yeah - that's kind of the attitude I've been trying for.

Naptimes are worse than bedtimes by far. For bedtime, we have a routine, and it works reasonably well. I've been giving him a snack of protein and willow bark (for chronic teething) just before bed, with a generous dollop of teething gel. Last night he went to sleep without issue and slept for 4 hours before waking to nurse! :rockon

For naptime, we've tried using the same routine as bedtime, and we've also tried giving naptime its own routine. Neither option works. There's too much light in the room - even when the really dark drapes are pulled. And every. little. thing. he sees or hears will distract him. If an ant sneezes 3 doors down, he wants to get up and investigate!

Unfortunately, I'm unable to give him a predictable schedule. Every day is different for us: DH and I both have erratic work schedules, and only one vehicle. Add to that a seeming endless series of Drs appointments (DS and I have some medical issues), and you've got one crazy schedule!

FTR, DS really NEEDS the sleep. This isn't "the books say such and such" - actually, the books say he should be getting about 25% more sleep than he actually manages to get on a good day. DS is chronically overtired. Red, puffy eyes, cries at every little thing, throws temper tantrums like they're going out of style, etc. He does need the sleep, resting in bed for 20 minutes is not enough.

KLPMommy - if you figure it out with S, please let me know! It sounds like your S and my DS have similar sleep issues! I've tried letting DS go without a nap - it was horrible for everyone involved! I have Rescue Remedy, but I never heard of using it topically - if you try that again, let me know if it works.

JulySheMustFly - I'm concerned that DS will cry until he throws up. He hasn't done it yet, but he foams at the mouth like a rabid dog. It's gross, and he doesn't like the feeling, I can tell. But putting him back in bed repeatedly frustrates him until he screams too. :shrug3 seems like the only path to sleep is screaming.

[nadezhda]

Our DC are the same age, and Annie's recently started doing this. Stroking her, rocking her, singing...it all just seems to make her madder. It's as if she so overly tired that ANYTHING overstimulates her. I've begun getting her ready for the transition to sleep during happy times: we'll rock and snuggle with one of my throws that she's claimed as her own, and I'll talk about how, later, when it's time for sleep, she can snuggle just like this with Mommy and blankie. Some days, she'll put her blankie on the floor and throw herself on top of it and be asleep in 2 minutes. Other days, she walks around screaming and sobbing. When she's like that and rocking/soothing don't help, I've discovered that just wrapping her in her blankie and putting her in her crib with a squishy toy is all I can do. Obviously, I don't leave her there if she's upset for long, but usually she'll cry (not scream) and fuss, then burrow into her blankie and sleep.

I 2nd the Rescue Remedy, though. Last week, Annie woke up in the middle of the night. I'd already given her Tylenol for her teeth (she's getting molars! :jawdrop ), but even after rocking for an hour, she was still extremely upset and unable to sleep. I put the drops in her mouth (when she was younger, I'd put it on her head during her fussy times) and it really seems to help. :tu

[newday]

I have Rescue Remedy and never remember to use it! I am going to get it out so it is close to the bed and right where I will see it next time...

Anyway, I wonder if it is different for different children. Elijah sometimes needs to be pinned because when I am holding him he tries to bite, pinch, pull, hit and whatever else he can do to get me to stop resting (and keep himself from sleep). Typically when I pin him we are already in bed and I make sure he is in a typical sleeping position for himself and I just hold his hands with one of mine. He will scream for about sixty seconds or less and then absolutely pass out. Sometimes it may take as much as two minutes but that has maybe only been one out of ten times. Once I had to hold him like that for a very long time, maybe 40 min. because of the overtired and stimulated issues, but I don't want to do that again and think that if he is still crying after a min. I will change tactics, offer a different restful routine and maybe put him on my back for a while instead. Sometimes he won't sleep and it is because he has to poo. That has happened a few times and I have been so glad that we were ECing and that I was holding him (not letting him CIO) so that I knew what he needed. I don't have a problem with babies crying to sleep (although I wish it didn't happen, and maybe there is a better way. I am interested in Saturnfire's methods) but I want to be there to comfort and hold them while they are so sad. If I could avoid the tears I would, but I am not sure there is a better way. He just doesn't want to sleep!

[klpmommy]

one thing to remember is that being AP doesn't mean our children are never going to be upset. so while i hate S screaming to sleep, she needs to sleep & I have to make it happen or weare *all* miserable :nak2

[ncsweetpea]

Oh, we're here again too... I really want to hear from some "veteran" moms with much older children. I need the "light at the end of the tunnel" that eventually my child will be able to go to sleep and stay in her bed...

Rabbit, where did you get that tea?

May it be a calm and gentle night for all of us on this thread! :pray4

[Niphredil]

:hugheart BTDT... it's so awful. :hugheart

FWIW, at 15 months we did this almost nightly, now at 23 months N can be gently parented to sleep 95% of the time. It does get better. :hug2

[Blue-EyedLady]

Ok, so what I'm getting here is that some screaming about sleep seems to be normal at this age, at least for some kids. Also, I'm not cruel for letting my kid scream while I *gently* pin him down on the bed or hold him close. However, extended screaming is probably not so good, or if the kid throws up, that's not a good method for that DC.

Also, I guess I've got to try Rescue Remedy. I didn't know you could adminster it topically to a LO. The next question is does it have corn in it? (we're allergic)

[BlessedBlue]

Bach's Rescue Remedy

http://www.bachflower.com/FAQ.htm#c
http://www.bachflower.com/Rescue_Remedy.htm

EBug had a wierd reaction to the alcohol, but I haven't tried it topically with her.  And since she is so stressed about the idea of going to sleep (because of the bad dreams) I'm wondering if this might work where the calms forte didn't.

Shall I guinea pig a topical application for you?  I can guinea pig both kids to see the full spectrum, if you like.  (ABoo has had a hard time falling asleep recently.) We've got the version with alcohol in it.

ETA: I wouldn't trust the alcohol-free version. Glycerin can come from corn. I'd want to contact the company first before using that one.

[klpmommy]

i had to do it topically b/c had i tried it orally the *process* would have upset her more. i had to be in stealth mode. i'll do it again tonight & report success or not, but i'm :pray4 it isn't necessary.

I think it is very normal for toddlers this age to fight sleep, and some just fight harder than others. I wonder if it has to do with activity level? B/c S is *so* much more physically active than either of her big sibs were at this age. :think

[Calliope]

My kiddo did this too for a while. One thing that helped us was a L.O.N.G. sleep routine. Like we have to start an hour before bed with cereal, bath, massage, books, cuddling, massage part II (this involves saying goodnight to all of his body parts :giggle) and ending with a minimum of 20 minutes of nursing. It still takes a while for him to get to sleep, but the lack of screaming is worth it.

I've also tried Rescue Remedy, chamomile, Calms Forte 4 Kids, Natural Calm Baby Calm and Benedryl :shifty with varying results. Next on my snake oil list is Rescue Remedy Sleep, Badger Balm Night Night Balm and Bach White Chestnut.

I am ever hopeful. :lol

[newday]

massage part II (this involves saying goodnight to all of his body parts :giggle)


oh - my son would love that. Going to steal that idea!!

[Calliope]

massage part II (this involves saying goodnight to all of his body parts :giggle)


oh - my son would love that. Going to steal that idea!!


:heart Yeah. It's great. I also use it to try and teach him to relax his body parts. So, I'll massage his legs and say, "Mommy is saying goodnight to your legs." And then I'll shake them gently until they relax and say, "Goodnight, legs." I lay hands on and say the same thing for his tummy and then his chest. I do the relaxation jiggle on his arms. Then I say goodnight to and stroke his head, eyebrows, nose, lips (insert kiss) and then his eyes. He's pretty patient and relaxed for it. Though sometimes he'll pop back u as soon as I'm done. :/

[Niphredil]

My kiddo did this too for a while. One thing that helped us was a L.O.N.G. sleep routine. Like we have to start an hour before bed with cereal, bath, massage, books, cuddling, massage part II (this involves saying goodnight to all of his body parts :giggle) and ending with a minimum of 20 minutes of nursing. It still takes a while for him to get to sleep, but the lack of screaming is worth it.



That sounds a lot like our sleep routine, right down to saying good night to body parts. In the past month or so we've been able to shorten it to about 30 minutes.

[ncsweetpea]

After an hour of reading, snuggling, praying, holding and many, many yawns, my Little Biscuit said, "Mommy, I need a car ride." Once around the neighborhood and she was out! It was a peaceful, yet long process.

[klpmommy]

I did the rescue remedy in the middle of the night & it didn't have the same effect. However, it might have gotten in her hair instead of her scalp. I was more than half asleep.

[BlessedBlue]

Bach's Rescue Remedy

http://www.bachflower.com/FAQ.htm#c
http://www.bachflower.com/Rescue_Remedy.htm

EBug had a wierd reaction to the alcohol, but I haven't tried it topically with her.  And since she is so stressed about the idea of going to sleep (because of the bad dreams) I'm wondering if this might work where the calms forte didn't.

Shall I guinea pig a topical application for you?  I can guinea pig both kids to see the full spectrum, if you like.  (ABoo has had a hard time falling asleep recently.)  We've got the version with alcohol in it.

ETA: I wouldn't trust the alcohol-free version.  Glycerin can come from corn.  I'd want to contact the company first before using that one.


I rubbed 2 drops onto each child's forehead before we had our story, tuck-in, and prayers.  ABoo did not show any signs of topical reaction: no redness, no itching, and still clear this morning.  He also went to sleep much faster than he has been, and was able to calm down better as well.

EBug, well, I guess will always be EBug.  :/  I did not notice any reactions with her, either.  But I don't think it helped her a bit.  I might try a bigger dose with her tonight, and see if that helps.

[Blue-EyedLady]

Bach's Rescue Remedy

http://www.bachflower.com/FAQ.htm#c
http://www.bachflower.com/Rescue_Remedy.htm

EBug had a wierd reaction to the alcohol, but I haven't tried it topically with her. And since she is so stressed about the idea of going to sleep (because of the bad dreams) I'm wondering if this might work where the calms forte didn't.

Shall I guinea pig a topical application for you? I can guinea pig both kids to see the full spectrum, if you like. (ABoo has had a hard time falling asleep recently.) We've got the version with alcohol in it.

ETA: I wouldn't trust the alcohol-free version. Glycerin can come from corn. I'd want to contact the company first before using that one.


I rubbed 2 drops onto each child's forehead before we had our story, tuck-in, and prayers. ABoo did not show any signs of topical reaction: no redness, no itching, and still clear this morning. He also went to sleep much faster than he has been, and was able to calm down better as well.


Oh - that's encouraging! Last night DS fell asleep in the car on the way to get DH from work. Every time he woke up after that, it was clear that he wanted to nurse back to sleep, so I did. No screaming AT ALL! He woke up for good at about 7:15 this morning! :rockon Too bad I can't put him to bed that early every night! I wonder if he'd start making more progress on his milestones (walking, talking, etc.) if he were better rested...

[ncsweetpea]

My kiddo did this too for a while. One thing that helped us was a L.O.N.G. sleep routine. Like we have to start an hour before bed with cereal, bath, massage, books, cuddling, massage part II (this involves saying goodnight to all of his body parts :giggle) and ending with a minimum of 20 minutes of nursing. It still takes a while for him to get to sleep, but the lack of screaming is worth it.

I've also tried Rescue Remedy, chamomile, Calms Forte 4 Kids, Natural Calm Baby Calm and Benedryl :shifty with varying results. Next on my snake oil list is Rescue Remedy Sleep, Badger Balm Night Night Balm and Bach White Chestnut.

I am ever hopeful. :lol


We tried this...and she liked it! Thanks for the idea!

[klpmommy]

I wish I could do a long routine, but with three other kids it just isn't happening. What is working for us *at the moment* is that I nurse her, let her sip chamomille tea, hold her & rock her, then pass her off to daddy while we watch tv & she falls asleep during that. :shrug We have minimized the screaming the last few nights & naps are better, too. <fingers crossed> I am also keeping the RR handy.

[Blue-EyedLady]

The last few days have been better for us, too. I'm working on an earlier bedtime, and planning about an hour of going-to-sleep playtime before each nap and bedtime. This is seriously eating up my entire day! But, no screaming. And as he's my only, I have the time to invest right now. This is a good week - few outside committments, especially in the evening, so I'll be able to work on consistent sleeptimes. The test will come on Wendesday when I have to work, and DS is at Grandma's again. But - DH will have him and the car, so there will be options!

Oh - but did I mention that we're having horrible teething issues? My poor baby is just miserable, and there's not much I can do. I did try the RR last night around 3 or 4 AM, and it seemed to help. Hard to tell, though...

[jewelmcjem]

I ran across this thread over the weekend, when I couldn't respond -- but it has really helped! I went from CIO/Ezzoing my older to AP/GBD with this baby -- and have no clue how to get her on a bedtime now. When she was an infant, she ate when she was hungry and slept when she was tired. We had no real bedtime. And with 4 to get to bed every night, I don't really have a routine beyond "Hey, it's bedtime, get your butts upstairs, in your jammies, and into bed" for the bigs. Duncan gets a book and a backrub -- IF Fiona isn't demanding nursing right then. Then she would do the toddle around, ask to nurse, get down, toddle some more, etc. until she passes out thing. But the last 2 nights, after the bigs were off to bed, I tried keeping her on my lap, offering to nurse but NOT letting her wander around aimlessly, and it worked!!! Less than 5 minutes of screaming off and on, then a good nursing and BAM she's out!!! 3 nights in a row now, 10pm instead of midnight!

[ncsweetpea]

My DH did the "holding to sleep" last night after a car ride failed...30 seconds of fussing in his arms and he said she conked out mid-cry. Meanwhile, I was folding the laundry... :whistle

Just now for nap, she was asleep, woke up to go potty (all by herself), we redressed her, I left her with some books and a cup of warm milk and she hasn't made a peep in five minutes...could this be real?

[ValiantJoy07]

I am so glad I saw this thread. Since dd was about 6 or 7 months old we have had NO problem with bedtime, we've had the same routine (added some things here and there over the months but apart from those things it always comes down to bath, books, nurse, sleep) since she was 5mos old. And apart from an occasional night here or there were we realize we need to move her bedtime she goes down no problem- usually conks out within 5minutes of nursing.

Unitll the past week or two. She has recently nightweaned. Thanks to my pregnancy= milk leaving. She has started sleeping through the night (or only needing an occassional pat on the back assurance that she's not alone :rockon I'll take it while it lasts!) She is also switching to one nap a day, she seems to need a good strong 2 hour nap in the middle of the day...But some days she goes back to her old nap patterns which leave her some how over tired. She is also EXTREMELY active and has been finding it really really hard to "turn off" at nap times especially... I really can't figure out what seems to trigger those times I try to keep our daily routine pretty regulated. Actually now that I think of it it's been the days we're outside playing now that spring is here, that she has the hardest time at naps...I usually have to take her for a drive to get her to go down.

I am tryin gto figure out how to help her calm down better- nursing has always been her calm down time- and I'm trying to nurse her with the TV on (only way I can handle any more than 5 minutes at this point) and then take her upstairs and nurse her to sleep...But it's so rough and I get so touched out so fast these days. DH takes over at bedtime if she can't turn off :heart it amazes me how patient he can be...But then he hasn't had her all day either. I REALLY need to get rescue remedy- for both of us.

[WI Mama05]

I just wanted to say that with DD1 I did have to "bear hug" her to sleep. That child just did NOT stay still and she got M.A.D. if I tried nursing or rocking (I have a scar on my arm to prove it)! :lol It did work though, and we only had to resort to it for a time until she was through that phase.

With DD2 I tried it once, and it didn't feel right :shrug3. Rocking in the rocking chair helped her fall asleep faster.

I'm pretty sure we'll end up at the same place with this one in a year or so!

AP doesn't mean your child won't ever cry. It means you listen to your child's cue and needs and respond in a loving and appropriate way. :hug2

[newday]

AP doesn't mean your child won't ever cry. It means you listen to your child's cue and needs and respond in a loving and appropriate way. :hug2


Well put!! :rockon