My 5 month-old, the sleepless wonder

[CJ]

As you can see from my signature, I am an experienced mom. I have tried everything I can think of that I am comfortable with to help my 5-month old sleep more consistently. Each of my babies has co-slept more than the previous one. I am open to pretty much exclusive co-sleeping with this one if I thought it would help us all get more sleep. Here's what I've observed:

1. He seems to wake at that 45min sleep cycle during naps. If I get there (or am laying next to him) and can gently coax him back to sleep, sometimes I am successful, sometimes not. If he only gets a 45min nap, he is fussy and cranky and will HAVE to go back down for a nap in an hour or so. So I'm sure that 45 minutes is not enough for him.

2. He is my first baby not to nurse completely to sleep. Instead, I nurse him, he finishes, I rock and/or pat him with his pacifier until he's asleep or nearly asleep and then I transfer him to my bed or the crib (used to sleep in the bassinet).

3. He is my first baby to use a pacifier. He seemed a bit "reflux-y" from the get go. One of the helpful things I read was that sucking a pacifier can help that because babies who produce and swallow more saliva (which is alkaline) help neutralize the stomach acid.

4. At night I do the same routine, usually after a calm bath. I put him down in his crib to start and often have to "coax" him back to sleep once or twice. When he's ready to nurse I either sit up and do it, putting him back in the crib again, or if I'm ready for bed I just bring him in bed with me.

5. I have to be careful about how much I nurse laying down because my back hurts when I do too much of it. I am happy to sit up a couple times a night to nurse and then go back to bed with him. Except that . . .

6. He has a hard time resettling back to sleep after night wakings. Sometimes he will fuss and squirm until he is wide awake and then there is no getting him back to sleep for an hour or more. Last night he woke up after 2 hours of sleep, I nursed/rocked, replaced him, he woke right up, DH tried to rock him but he wouldn't settle. So we started over again an hour or so later. The rest of the night was pretty restless with him waking every hour or so and then he woke up for the morning before 6 am. This was not atypical.

7. DH and I have both waken to him cooing and chattering in bed with us at 3 am or so--thinking it's time to play. We try to ignore that and when he starts to fuss I will nurse him (hopefully back to sleep). But that robbed us of precious sleep too many times.

Any advice? ideas? questions? As you can imagine, with other kids, our lives can be chaotic during the day, but I have gone out of my way (and often at the expense of the other kids) to make life as calm and predictable for the baby as possible--it doesn't seem to matter! And I feel so bad because when I am sleep deprived, I am terribly grouchy with the other kids. I have never considered letting one of my babies cry it out and (fortunately) wouldn't even know how to begin that, but at 3 am, I confess, lately the thought has crossed my mind!

I hold him and wear him A LOT during the day.

[CJ]

So it's 4:30 am. I can't remember what time it started but he woke, I got him back to sleep with nurse, rock, etc. Went back into bed with him, he wouldn't stay asleep, I got back up and did the jiggle/rock thing until he was totally asleep, went back to bed with him and it lasted 45 minutes. Now he's awake again. I was getting really frustrated so I handed him to DH who is holding him now. The 45 minute thing is a pain during the day--I can't take it at night!!!!! He won't nurse back to sleep either. having to get up and rock/jiggle back to sleep seems to kind of defeat the convenience of co-sleeping, don't you think?

[EmJo]

:hug2

I didn't have your exact experiences, but my DS was not exactly Mr. Sleep-Through-the-Night. Still isn't, but night wakings now don't last long and are much less frequent than his baby days. I know what you mean about being tempted to let him CIO--I had that thought many a time his first 15 months or so. (But it wouldn't have worked for him anyway.)

To answer your question, I think your DS is still getting something out of being close to Mommy while he is sleeping, at least a sense of comfort. Maybe it would be worse if he was in his own crib? (If you can imagine it being worse. :shifty)

[CJ]

Thanks for the empathy. I have no problem with him waking to nurse through the night at this age--my struggle is that he doesn't go back to sleep without a major struggle. He has a really bad, itchy viral rash right now and the doc gave me a perscription for an antihistimine that makes him drowsy! So I'm trying to take advantage of the sleepiness and help him learn to just fall asleep next to me after nursing--rather than rocking, etc. I'm hoping that he will then learn to do that in the middle of the night after nursing.

[katiekind]

That would be nice! And maybe too when he's feeling better, he'll sleep better. :pray4

[Rabbit]

He sounds very uncomfortable most of the time, and that's going to wake him up. When you can treat the source of his discomfort (like that itchy viral rash) he'll sleep better. If he has reflux, he may need that treated as well.

[14yrslater]

:popcorn

Sounds like my ds!! Except I do nurse him completely to sleep otherwise I can't sleep. (I need those nursing hormone to help me sleep!)

[shaunamama]

I'm in a similar situation with dd :hugheart. I just posted asking for help too! I still swaddle my 7 month old because if I don't she is too wiggly and won't go back to sleep. Though sometimes she fidgets too. Naps are the same too. I lie down with her for the first 45 min. or hour and then usually I can put her down and she'll sleep for another hour. Sometimes. I feel your pain.

[CJ]

Okay, he's now 6 months and now that the rash is under control (not entirely gone or even diagnosed) and the SIX teeth he was getting at the same time have busted through, he is sleeping much better. He goes down after a nursing and rocking in his crib--sometimes he's even still awake when I put him down!--sleeps there anywhere from 2-4 hours before I nurse him again. At whatever point I go to bed or am in bed and he wakes, I bring him in bed with me for the rest of the night. He's generally taking a 1 1/2 - 2 1/2 hour nap at least once a day w/o my intervention--this, of course, depends upon how much we're home that day. He'll also take one or two more 45 minute naps or so--sometimes longer if I can "help" him back to sleep. He's much happier now that he's sleeping better and not in so much pain fromt the teething and itching from the rash. I'm finding myself enjoying babyhood much more these days! I'm going back off dairy :cry to see if that is the cause of his rash (I had resumed the dairy I had eliminated since he seemed more able digestively to tolerate it now). One thing I am reminded about babyhood--CHANGE/ADJUSTMENT is a WAY OF LIFE! "This, too, shall pass" must remain my motto!

[katiekind]

So glad to hear the update, CJ! :rockon

[StewardofLOs]

Just seeing this CJ, and I wanted to give you a :hug2 about the dairy. I'm not nursing, but we finally completely took dairy out of DS's diet, and he will actually sleep for 5 hour stretches at night! He has NEVER done that, and he's almost 20 months. He's also just a completely different child. :yes I wish I had known enough to eliminate dairy when he was a newborn, b/c then I might still be nursing him, and this whole year and a half would have been better in so many ways :(

So glad he's sleeping better, and I hope eliminating diary helps! :heart