My 18 mo. old likes to crawl/sleep on my face. no good. help **Feb.14 UPDATE**

[nurturinglovely]

We mostly night weaned him about a month ago - and it has been a horrible and unpredictable journey.

He will wake up SCREAMING and CRYING and will NOT be consoled... he just wants to nurse ( says, "un? un? un? un? un?.....") and when i respond with sleep, or silence, or 'no', or "un is ni-night" or "wait until morning..." (i've said it all) he just gets p*ssed!!!!

In the last 48 hours, i have had 4 whole hours of sleep... TOTAL. I have no help... and i need a solution....

I am working with the NCSS...... but i feel like this is a problem i haven't heard or seen dealt with and i am at a loss.

(BTW: going to sleep is hardly ever the problem... STAYING/GOING BACK to sleep without a screaming battle all night - that's the issue.

[swimming with sharks]

do you have to nightwean right now? :shifty If you were getting more sleep before :yawn, maybe he's just not ready for it?

[nurturinglovely]

do you have to nightwean right now? :shifty If you were getting more sleep before :yawn, maybe he's just not ready for it?


i actually don't know that i *was* getting more sleep before.

With him... it feels like it's all or nothing. If i DO let him nurse at night, he is up every hour to *really* nurse, and all the other in between times, he doesn't want to loose the latch.


I DO feel like we have made progress, because, he will go 3 nights in a row of AMAZING sleep - like, 2 five hour stretches and then, nurse at 6 - sleeping for another hour and a half. Between the 5 hr. stretches - it was just a matter of bringing him from his bed to ours. BUT THEN - he will go 3 - 5 nights of just screaming or crawling on me.

To be honest - i am just plain afraid to open up the door for nursing. There have been times in the name of convenience where i will give in and nurse him at 4 or 5 - but then if i DARE de-latch him the screaming starts all over again. It was challenging enough to get "this far".....

:/

[nurturinglovely]

So,last night before i went to bed, i re-read parts of "Good Nights" - a great book by Dr. Jay Gordon....

anyway -it was very refreshing and i just felt ready for the nights challenges and i remembered just how much i love sleeping with my little guy.

Anyway - he went to sleep last night at 6 : 45 - I went to bed at 9:30, He was up at 12:30 to come into our bed..... Then we all slept soundly until 6:30!!!! Then he nursed- and i bought myself an extra 45 minutes of snooze!!


It will probably only be a one night gift - but i will take it! and who knows..... maybe, just maybe, it will be a new pattern! :shrug :)

[momyshaver]

no advice.. just :hug2 and also..I am going through this right now (not the night weaning, but the night issues) w/ our 5th. Some nights are better than others.. but just remember, it is only a season..I hope it gets better for ya soon :pray4

[nurturinglovely]

ok.... new update.......

back in the cycle again! i just can't figure this one out.....

btw - i won't start nursing at night again beause he's one of those that JUST. WON'T. STOP. When i finally let him nurse at 6 - he will do whatever he can to stay latched on!

For the last 3 nights he just can't (or won't) sleep.
it's really messing with my head. i feel like i have tried so much.... mabe just more prayer? :shrug

i have tried hugging him often at night, rocking, rubbing his back, ..... these all make him SO angry! i don't understand why he has to sleep on my face.... why no contentment with the crook of my arm?? i am not forcing himinto a different room against his will.

[Yuliana]

:hugheart 18 months old is so young, maybe he really needs it.

[cobluegirl]

(((HUGS))) :heart :heart

[ValiantJoy07]

I don't have any ideas just wanted to send :hugheart :hug2 your way!

On second thought, I wonder if you rushed the night weaning a bit much and he's reacting to that? NCSS stresses that it is a very very gradual process. How long were you working with the pentley pull off? It took about 3 months to see ANY real success with that with DD (as in to have it actually work where I could unlatch her and she would consistantly stay asleep)...I didn't want to fully night wean DD I am totally fine with 2 even 3 nursing sessions a night (that's my comfort level, I just needed to break the "every hour" cycle)...It took a lot of consitancy, some tears (on my part) and patience but now when DD nurses at night she unlatches herself and rolls over and goes to sleep. She has started needing to be IN my arms at points at night...I think that's seperation anxiety due to my returning to work a few evenings a week. She thankfully doesn't insist on nursing she just wants to be touching my breast or in arms (which is kind of uncomfy some times as I'm preggo).

Perhaps you need to step back and look at your process of getting where you want to be. I'm not expert but it sounds like your LO is feeling very anxious about the chnages and maybe the transition is going too fast. :shrug
:hug2

[nurturinglovely]

that's what i wondered.... so istarted letting him nurse at night again - if he didn't respond to other forms of comfort. that worked BEAUTIFULLY....for about a week. then he decided that waking every 1/2 hour to beg for nursing was best - and to resume face sleeping. :hunh



:yawn

last night i got about 3 hours of sleep. What else i don't get, is how he can be so happy still! i mean, he is awake so much of the night. but he isn't a complete mess the next day. (just me)

[ValiantJoy07]

that's what i wondered.... so istarted letting him nurse at night again - if he didn't respond to other forms of comfort. that worked BEAUTIFULLY....for about a week. then he decided that waking every 1/2 hour to beg for nursing was best - and to resume face sleeping. :hunh



:yawn

last night i got about 3 hours of sleep. What else i don't get, is how he can be so happy still! i mean, he is awake so much of the night. but he isn't a complete mess the next day. (just me)





Aw I'm sorry!!!! :hug2 mama!!! Every thing I have read about 18mos says that it is an incredibly challenging stage (some more so for certain LO's)...I am not looking forward to it as it's looking like I'll be 8-9mos preggo. I hope you guys can find some sort of night time harmony soon! :heart

[Blue Aurora]

:hug2 That age is a very high needs nursing time. I can't speak for your little one but my youngest was no where ready to night wean at 18 months. I actually tried at 2.5 years and he still wasn't ready and then he completely weaned himself a few months later. I remember having nights where I was desperate for sleep but the really intense stuff usually passed after a week or so. If it is still a traumatic thing over a week later I would wonder if it's the right time to night wean. :hug

[nurturinglovely]

:hug2 That age is a very high needs nursing time. I can't speak for your little one but my youngest was no where ready to night wean at 18 months. I actually tried at 2.5 years and he still wasn't ready and then he completely weaned himself a few months later. I remember having nights where I was desperate for sleep but the really intense stuff usually passed after a week or so. If it is still a traumatic thing over a week later I would wonder if it's the right time to night wean. :hug


The thing is, and - maybe i haven't said this yet?.... I DON'T want to night wean! but if he is let to nurse AT ALL, he just doesn't understand that, "yes you can right now, but not the next 3 times, but then i will say yes the 4th time..." KWIM? If i could just get him to nurse 2 or 3 times and latch off, i would be FINE with it. But one time nursing for him is an invite to stay latched on until 7 am. Now, he goes to sleep at 7 pm, and is quite good at staying asleep until btwn 10- 1 or so. BUT if i go to bed any earlier, he doesn't. he just wakes and begins his routine. And, once i am woken up, i have a VERY hard time getting back to sleep.

Last night i got about 2 hours. My eyes are swollen and red. I am angry, frustrated and feel so out of options. Am i *really* supposed to just start nursing ALL night to help him sleep, while in the meantime, i am still not sleeping??

Valient joy suggested on working on the pantley pullof for now. Maybe i will spend some time mulling that one over for now.

[Blue Aurora]

:think have tried cal/mag for you both? :hug2 sleep deprivation is such a horrible thing.

[nurturinglovely]

No. But i will.


I think i am going through a sort of "birth process" right now. FOr example - i have always been a city girl but now i find myself just wanting to be alone with my boys on a large piece of land and own sheep. :hunh yeah - for me, that's wierd. We are learnig our rhythms and needs and it hasn't been easy. just like labor. I kind of feel like the baby whos descending - (the the thoughts that baby must go through!) but then i feel the warmth and peace of being born. Like i have come out of my situation a whole new person.

So - This morning from about 6-7:30 I cried, cried, and cried... but then, peace.

I don't know how my night will be. But i DO think he still needs to nurse...he's hungry. But i also think my milk is low which makes him even MORE frustrated when i *do* nurse him. I want to focus on our nighttime rhythms as much as our days... i want to bring the peace and beauty of our days into my nights - even when they are more than challenging.